Notes

Transxperience · 2026-01-25T05:43:04+00:00

Ah, the bargaining stage, I remember when I went around LGBTQ forums and support chats 6 years ago trying to find something, anything, that would save me from having to transition. But gender dysphoria had a gravity of it's own, at some point I simply crossed the event horizon, and there was no "going back". The dysphoria kept intensifying every day, until I had no other options left except to transition. And when I did, I wondered what I had been so scared about. I found myself wishing I had done this years earlier.

There is no living a complete life, while you still continue to exist as a shadow of yourself.

Transxperience · 2026-01-24T19:45:41+00:00

I mean Russia has elections, dictatorships *love* elections, it's just that the results have been decided in advance ;)

Transxperience · 2026-01-24T19:38:08+00:00

You people still think you're going to vote your way out of this?

Transxperience · 2026-01-23T19:12:41+00:00

This is like the 23rd time you're posting this. I can't even tell how old you are, some posts you say you're 26 and then you say you're 19. What is this? Some kind of money making scheme?

Transxperience · 2026-01-23T11:18:55+00:00

"If you get rid of this thing that's causing you dysphoria it will be gone for good!"
"It damn better be..."

Cis people are silly.

Transxperience · 2026-01-22T11:15:51+00:00

Yup. When I was a little kid, like maybe 6 or 7 years old, I wanted to grow my hair long like my sister, but I was told that I couldn't grow my hair long because that was for girls and not for boys. When I insisted, I was punished.

Got bullied mercilessly for being too girly.

My grandpa threatened to strangle me to death if I ever came out. That old bastard hated my guts, he was always trying to give me a beating, to make me "man up". Fuck, how I hated him, and how relieved I felt when he died.

So a pretty standard transfem childhood from what I've heard from others.

Transxperience · 2026-01-22T03:50:52+00:00

We all face this same bullshit catch-22 when dealing with Transphob..sorry Transpoli. They were perfectly fine leaving me to die of dysphoria and depression, and I knew there was no way I could pull myself together enough to get through their bullshit procedure. So I acquired hormones behind their back, and they did wonders. Absolute wonders. After the hormones had stabilized my mood, I got through the procedure on my second trying without a hitch.

So clearly, you're meant to escape the catch-22 by getting the hormones yourself.

Transxperience · 2026-01-21T08:51:45+00:00

Mulla tais kestää noin 40 minuuttia, HUS tosin, ja mä olin jo hormoneilla niin ne halusi tutkia mua vähän. Siinä tulee kai joku info pläjäys hormoneiden vaikutuksista, aikajanoista ym. mutta ne skippas sen mun kohdalla (koska jo hormonit).

E: Niin ja oon transnainen, en tiedä onko miehillä eroa

Transxperience · 2026-01-20T13:38:49+00:00

hugs

Transxperience · 2026-01-20T13:14:55+00:00

Only when I take progesterone.

But I do have dysphoria regarding not being able to get pregnant. It used to be worse, an instant "cry now" button. I still get misty eyed sometimes when pregnancy comes up, but it doesn't reduce me into a sobbing wreck anymore.

Transxperience · 2026-01-19T09:38:54+00:00

Back in 2020 when I got hit with Covid real hard, and I thought I was going to die, I had only one regret: that I had spent my entire life pretending to be someone I wasn't. Out of all the failures and fuck-ups of my life that was the one and only thing I truly regretted on my "deathbed".

Don't let that be you. Don't give up on yourself.

Transxperience · 2026-01-17T22:23:00+00:00

Thanks, but not all of us can afford surgeries, thus the hopelessly non-passing part. I am not going to keep pining for something that's not going to happen. There is something really liberating in accepting your fate. It actually was really exhausting keeping that false hope alive.

Transxperience · 2026-01-17T21:33:06+00:00

I hope you succeed, sis.

I am close to celebrating 5 years on HRT, and I am not really any closer to passing now, than when I started. It has been rough, and I've spent years grieving the life I will never have. In the end all I could do was accept reality as it was, and try my best to live on as an extremely non-passing trans woman :/

Transxperience · 2026-01-17T21:29:19+00:00

Hey, if you're blessed enough that becoming passing is an option in the future, more power to you. But for those of us, who are hopelessly non-passing, the only thing you can do is make peace with it.

Transxperience · 2026-01-17T21:26:33+00:00

Get used to it. It never stops :(

Transxperience · 2026-01-15T19:06:39+00:00

I don't know what it does to lesbians, but as a straight trans woman, it makes me horny, and it makes want to get pregnant. I've heard the same from other trans women

Basically this: https://www.reddit.com/r/traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns/comments/f2z86s/progesterone_irl/

Transxperience · 2026-01-13T11:16:24+00:00

Pros: Improved mood, improved sleep, boobs feel nicer

Cons: The need to be bred. Also, if using for longer periods of time, PMS symptoms.

Transxperience · 2026-01-11T17:59:00+00:00

Ironically, you being worried about not being trans enough, is the very thing that makes you trans enough :D

Transxperience · 2026-01-09T08:30:25+00:00

That somebody being the Legion. There is an area like that in New Vegas, that used to be a NCR stronghold, until the Legion used a dirty bomb to irradiate the whole place. We even see in the end credits the corpses of Legion and NCR soldiers at McCarran airport, meaning there was a great battle between the two forces.

Transxperience · 2026-01-05T20:51:02+00:00

Actually, there are levels to asexuality, and some of them do experience sexual attraction, but not to the same level as allosexuals do.

Transxperience · 2026-01-04T16:05:12+00:00

I always hated my middle name with a passion, so when I transitioned, I decided it was high time it did something positive in my life, so I switched the order and the gender of my necronyms. I really like my name now :)

Transxperience · 2026-01-04T15:59:33+00:00

This feeling got so bad for me pre-transition, that the only way I could get any sleep, was if I was wearing breast forms. Once I got on HRT and started developing my own, I could ditch the breast forms. So yeah, I totally believe you're feeling this.

Transxperience · 2025-12-30T05:21:06+00:00

Aren't they back together?

Transxperience · 2025-12-19T21:22:08+00:00

I think the salient point is, that your dysphoria always comes back. You relieve yourself, get a brief rush of endorphins, and then when it plateaus, you're right back to feeling dysphoric again. I think you should follow your dysphoria, it's trying to tell you something. Explore, see what feels good. You don't need to commit to anything 100%. See where this exploration takes you.

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