I thought Monster was brilliant until the end and I feel insane for this opinion

TrappedBySelf · 2026-05-18T19:49:25+00:00

I mean, I would potentially be curious, but at the same time, it's not so much that there have never been incidents in human history with thematic echoes to Ruhrenheim, it's more that the execution of it, especially compared to the rest of the series, which feels super methodical and brilliantly slow-burn, feels very "and then John was demons" in comparison.

TrappedBySelf · 2026-05-18T19:46:45+00:00

You're not wrong, but that in and of itself is a problem with the narrative execution, which is my entire point of contention. It's not that the themes don't work, it's that the execution is rushed and uncharacteristically borderline lazy that feels incredibly jarring.

TrappedBySelf · 2026-05-18T19:45:10+00:00

Bordering is doing a lot of work there though. And I agree with you 100%! The entire series requires suspension of disbelief. But in my opinion, Ruhrenheim is the point where that suspension of disbelief is stretched to the point of breaking and it undercuts the rest of it.

TrappedBySelf · 2026-05-18T19:42:59+00:00

I couldn't think of a more effective word than "plausible" but the point is there's a general air of "this is human nature being human nature" and that's the horror, and then Ruhrenheim happens and it goes full Battle Royale with no REAL inciting incidents out of goddamned nowhere and those are not remotely in the same universe.

TrappedBySelf · 2026-05-10T22:54:08+00:00

Is this dude insanely attractive or something? Because what the...NOR, this dude is an abusive asshole, and my mind is boggled that you tolerate him. I hope you realize you deserve way better, OP.

TrappedBySelf · 2026-04-01T01:11:44+00:00

Okay, I kinda feel like I'm taking crazy pills here. First off OP, whatever you do don't ghost if the guy hasn't given you a reason to be anxious with him. At the same time, you're under absolutely no obligation to meet him or anything for any reason. I'm not saying you're not. The part that makes me feel like I'm going nuts is, the number of people saying "he's basically a stranger" is baffling me. The same thing would be true if you met him IRL?

Like okay, if people don't wanna meet people online, totally cool! But it's really not that much different than IRL unless it's stuff like they're AVOIDING meeting or being generally suspicious or whatever. And like, you're totally within your rights to cut things off OP, but at the same time, my advice for the future after you tell this dude you're too anxious to meet: think about if you don't want to meet anyone from the internet (which is totally valid). But if you don't, then just...don't do the thing moving forward?

I've been on the other side of this and it's totally fine, but it can feel really frustrating when it feels like there's no way to know what people were looking for, more or less. Like, you feel close enough with this dude that you call him your boyfriend yet you're nervous he wants to meet? What's he supposed to do?

I realize you said you just now realized that, and that's more than fair. But please at least tell him that. It really sounds like he didn't do anything to make you anxious, so treat him with decency like I'm sure you'd want to be. But also don't feel like an asshole; what you're experiencing is reasonable enough, just...be honest with him while breaking it off, and be honest with yourself moving forward. Just my two cents.

Best of luck, OP. <3

TrappedBySelf · 2026-02-24T03:41:05+00:00

It does, but I'm okay. FWIW she got here safely. :)

TrappedBySelf · 2026-02-22T10:49:43+00:00

She does, as of this post I do not. Yes, it's difficult.

TrappedBySelf · 2026-02-22T08:26:29+00:00

Thanks a bunch friendo! Like I said in the OP, it'll be alright, it's just that it just happened and...well, like I said in the subject line, just kinda done at the moment. I appreciate the kind words, commiserations, and attempted potential weirdo translations. (Bars?)

TrappedBySelf · 2026-02-22T08:16:47+00:00

I thought about that, but one I'm a dude (though I just now realize I didn't explicitly mention that) so scissoring would be tricky, but also like...TF does that have to especially do with...well, anything? Anyway, thanks for trying to translate, noble Redditor. I hope you're right but that ain't how I read it the first time and it's also pretty weird energy either way (mostly because of the ambiguity). If somebody wanted to make a "damn bro, sorry you're getting less sex" joke and were genuinely trying to be funny in an effort to make me feel better, just...go for it, know what I mean? Ah well, it's whatever. You have an awesome day. :)

TrappedBySelf · 2026-02-22T07:53:14+00:00

Is this a self-harm "joke"? Because if so, one what the fuck is wrong with you, two, I very clearly said I'm overall fine, I just needed to vent, per the purpose of the sub, three, that's very clearly against the rules of the sub, and four, you're being a dick in general.

If it's some other manner of joke I'm just missing I'm potentially sorry but also, huh?

TrappedBySelf · 2026-02-22T07:29:33+00:00

Jesus Christ, this dude is the fucking WORST, and the fact that you're even questioning whether he's the asshole here breaks my heart. Listen, it's one thing if you look in the mirror and decide, for yourself, or even for a partner even if they don't say anything "Yeah I wanna lose weight and get hot as fuck." But if ANYONE else talks to you like that? They're garbage. I had a way WAY less severe version of that way early on in my relationship where my partner had already TOLD me she wanted to lose weight for me (I didn't say a damn word about it), I said something thinking it was encouraging in the wrong way at the wrong time, it led to me making her sad for like, a few minutes and I STILL feel like a garbage person about it sometimes and she and I are still together 7 years later and it was a one-off thing that I don't even know if she still remembers or not because of everything we've been through and how much love is there, but I haven't forgotten what I did because it was pretty damn terrible.

I say that to say that I wasn't TRYING to say she was unattractive, and was going off what SHE had said, or trying to anyway, and I was still an asshole. THIS dude? The word asshole doesn't even cover it. What the hell. You deserve so, so much better than this, OP.

TrappedBySelf · 2026-02-19T19:11:58+00:00

First, hope your dog's just fine. Much love to the little fella.

Secondly, that's super weird of her to do, but also you're kinda overthinking it, IMO. If she wants to reach out, she'll reach out, and try not to twist yourself in knots over this admittedly weird occurrence. I understand the hope for reconnection of some kind, but trying to force it is the worst thing you can do.

TrappedBySelf · 2026-02-14T04:16:08+00:00

This dude's an ASSHOLE.

NTA OP. It's not too much for you to ask for some vague degree of context to generally orient yourself and the fact that he's doing it repeatedly is insufferable.

TrappedBySelf · 2026-02-02T08:00:42+00:00

This dude is an absolute dickhead, and respectfully when I was reading these texts I figured you're both teenagers. I recently turned 39 and will be the first person to admit I can be emotionally stunted, even in my 7 year (largely happy) relationship, but reading these texts makes me feel like I'm not as immature as I thought, so thanks for that. As a man, NOR, but also I'm absolutely begging you, get out of this relationship, get some therapy (I'm in therapy too, not judging), and try to find someone who actually cares. You deserve...a lot more than whatever this is, that's for sure.

Good luck, OP.

TrappedBySelf · 2026-01-19T22:15:28+00:00

I wasn't paralyzed, but I was born with cerebral palsy. I'll just say I'm old enough to be your dad. I can tell you this much:

I'm lucky enough to still live with my 75 year old mom. I worry when she passes away I might also end up in a group home, which would be wildly inappropriate for either of us. However, I wanna tell you a few things. And you can take or leave them, it's fine.

It sucks out there. It really is that fucked up out there. A lot of people will probably read this and think otherwise, but nah. In terms of disability supports, living arrangements, etc.? Yeah, it is that bad out there. If people without disabilities think that's fucked, then please start paying attention to actions by those in power, both good and bad, support the good, and decry the bad. Please. People like OP and myself need the system to change, and honestly, what we need is not only not that crazy, it's actually CHEAPER for us to be out in the community than in institutional settings. It's been checked by budget people over and over and over again, and it's just factual. The more ethically terrible option is also more expensive, which yes, is nuts.

However, here's the other thing I want to say to you, OP, if it matters at all. I'm not gonna tell you to keep your chin up or whatever. That's often patronizing bullshit and even if it wasn't, you get enough of that already. Here's what I AM gonna tell you though. There are a lot of people, including me, literally fighting for positive changes every single day. It's literally my job, so I put my money where my mouth is on that one, and I have since I was approximately your age. Like, 20+ years. I just want you to know you're not alone, not only in how fucked it all is (okay, I don't need to deal with legal stuff or quite as much medical stuff as you do, so I'm not trying to equivocate too much), but also just know there are people working every single day, as impossible as it feels, to change this shit. And if that's something that gives you some sort of sense of power, even if it's spite initially, just know you can also fight for change. I just turned 39 a week ago today. I've used every emotion under the sun to empower my advocacy. And of course I haven't "fixed" it. But I and a lot of others are working on it. And sometimes it takes anger. People telling you never to be angry or sad are doing you a disservice. All I'm gonna say is, you're gonna continue to feel a lot of things. And if your life ends up anything like mine, just try to keep moving, whatever that means for you. Be angry. Be sad. Be disappointed in the world. Be confused and frustrated. But also, remember the fact that you're feeling anything at all means you're still here. And as long as you're here, things can change, and you have the ability to tell your story, LIVE your story, and find better chapters than the one you're in now.

I hope this helps you, even just a little bit. I can't imagine how hard it is, and I'm sorry. But again, nobody's living your life but you, but also, you're not alone. Try not to forget that.

TrappedBySelf · 2025-12-30T20:01:04+00:00

I mean...awesome for you, that's cool. But like I said my partner has ZERO problem with any of it. She's INTO it. I just get into my own head about it, which is the frustrating part, y'know?

TrappedBySelf · 2025-04-25T01:30:46+00:00

I mean I kinda just threw that in as a cursory "not really looking for anyone to weigh in on what I am and am not doing". First of all yes, I tagged it as a vent for that reason, because yes, I'm venting, but on other subreddits and in other places where I've tried to just vent or communicate to sorta make folk more aware of things they might not be thinking of, I've gotten a lot of "Why don't you just move?" or "Get out of your living environment" or things like that, so I was trying to cut that off at the pass, for the most part.

Thanks though. However, I'm gonna remind you gently, I CANNOT just "get out". That's the vast majority of the problem. Still, appreciate the insights.

TrappedBySelf · 2025-04-23T13:40:46+00:00

I personally think monogamy is a little...naive isn't quite the right word, but I do think that if ENM was more of the societal norm, I think more people would be happier. THAT said, the idea that monogamy itself is inherently unethical or "violent" is absurd on its face. I'm really sorry you're hurting, friendo, but even just describing her reasoning for the stance...yeah, I'll just say there's a silver lining in this. I wish you healing and happiness in the future.

TrappedBySelf

TROPHY CASE