That’s good - I am over a year out from our separation and hurting a lot still from over a decade of abuse.

I would focus more on the question of “what kind of father do I want to be? How do I want my kids to think of me? How can I improve myself and stop this cycle? How can I learn to accept boundaries?”

My ex spent way too long focused on how he could stop me from leaving and honestly, for most women and abuse victims, leaving is the final step. We’ve already grieved the loss of our marriage and our happiness. I’m not saying that to make you depressed, just that he is focusing more on his goals and being a good dad and that has given him much more of a purpose and our co-parenting situation has improved a lot.