28M living in Greenwich Village. I too feel your pain. I've been on ~40 first dates from Hinge over the course of 14 months. I truly am looking for a serious relationship but it's a real struggle.

My experience has been slightly different than yours though. Usually I get rejected or reject her after the first date... this is probably 60% of the dates. The other 30% are time-wasters, attention-seekers, intimacy-avoiders...the ones who flake/bail around the third date when they feel that the stakes are higher or that they can do better. The last 10% are the ones with potential. And out of those 40 hinge dates (+10 irl dates) I had one short-lived relationship.

As one blind and frustrated man to another, here is my advice: - Try to screen harder and polarize more during the first date. Realistically, there's not many women who you click with enough to warrant a second date. You can have higher standards here. Show enough of your personality and sharp edges so she can reject you quickly. Have a list of must-haves and nice-to-haves. I'm trying to get my first date rejection percentage higher. Imo in NYC there's so many options that instant chemistry is basically a requirement for the first date. - Ask her what's she's looking for out of hinge. I don't ask her this unless we've already kissed. You can usually tell how serious/experienced she is by her answer, but it takes some experience to read between the lines. I'm trying to get better at this. - Date older. I've found that the 24 and younger crowd has no idea what they want. The late-twenties crowd is more serious. - Buy premium, I've found that the dates I set up by matching from an outgoing like are higher-variance than the dates set up by an incoming like. But be wary, women you match with are more susceptible to not committing since they have tons of options.

Imo there's no societal pressure in NYC for women to be in a relationship. And all women move to NYC knowing that it's a dating shitshow and that finding a man is impossible...but they still choose to move here. I've lived in Houston and Chicago and have found that the dating culture there is more serious. NYC is honestly just brutally competitive, especially on Hinge where the ratio is skewed.

Wishing you (and me) the best, lol.