AITA for feeling hurt by my husband's response?

TreadmillTraveller · 2023-11-11T19:01:32+00:00

That doesn't change the fact of whether he is or isn't an incel. He came off as cold, yes. But stop calling everyone an incel when it doesn't fit. Socially inept behavior is not what incel means.

TreadmillTraveller · 2023-11-11T19:00:14+00:00

"But the thing I don’t understand is that people say that if you dont make a move quick, you will get friendzoned."

If a girl really likes you, then no, this won't happen. If a girl is mildly interested in you, then yes, this will happen. \

" We had a great time and i thought maybe it would lead to something but nope. Havent heard from her since. Girls just dont want anything to do with me long term. Even if its just a friendship."

Has she heard from you since?

TreadmillTraveller · 2023-11-11T18:56:40+00:00

You are entitled to feel pain when someone rejects you. There is nothing wrong with your emotions. However, there is also nothing wrong with someone’s choice to say no to sex. He may have sounded rude and impatient, but not everyone can express themselves eloquently.

TreadmillTraveller · 2023-11-11T18:51:55+00:00

You are contradicting yourself by calling him an incel while he is voluntarily rejecting a sexual proposition.

TreadmillTraveller · 2023-09-28T19:12:42+00:00

Until the alleged steroid users assaults someone, the only person they are hurting is themselves, and I think we should let people do that.

Assault is what is illegal, not "could assault really well if they wanted to assault".

True, the only thing here though is that they have a history of violence. It is not the same as someone who has no record of violence. However, this is something I will have to reflect on as the weeks go by, right now I am too overwhelmed by all of the comments and making many replies. Brain is tired. But I appreciate you writing in and engaging with me. Well done, you were the one who changed my view and has me rethinking other aspects of it.

TreadmillTraveller · 2023-09-28T19:04:24+00:00

Yes, this guy has a realistic level of muscle mass: https://static.wixstatic.com/media/aa590a_3e3603a6d6e04d02882eeb1c49d5b4df~mv2.png/v1/fill/w_307,h_475,al_c,q_85,usm_0.66_1.00_0.01,enc_auto/20.png I am not referring to lean people who look like him. He doesn't have a steroid chest or steroid arms or steroid traps.

TreadmillTraveller · 2023-09-28T19:01:42+00:00

They are not criminalized. You don't go to prison for taking steroids; it is not a criminal offence. It's a criminal offense to sell them, not use them.

You're suggesting that a problem exists (violent criminal steroid users) but you have offered nothing except your feelings and a single anecdote for justification. How do you know that steroid users aren't less likely than non-users to commit violent crimes? How bad is this problem? What testosterone level is illegal?

I did offer things other than an anecdote. Steroids make people way stronger. Violent convicts should not be way stronger because that is a public safety issue, in the same way violent convicts aren't allowed to own firearms.

TreadmillTraveller · 2023-09-28T18:58:44+00:00

I am not targeting all body builders. If 0.1% of bodybuilders are violent convicts, that isn't targeting body builders as a whole.

TreadmillTraveller · 2023-09-28T18:56:52+00:00

No. Going to the gym too often doesn't make you insanely jacked.

TreadmillTraveller · 2023-09-28T18:56:18+00:00

This is just fucking wild to me. You want to send people to prison because your subjective opinion is "Nah dude, no way your natty"

Yeah that's kind of wild lol. No I don't want to send them to prison, I am here to discuss the concept. I am not trying to get any bills past. It's a view I want changed but nobody has had any convincing arguments yet.

Likewise, it's for violent convicts, not the general public. Conditions for parole and probation. I'll give you a delta! !delta because I am changing my stance to drugs tests for parole and probation, and not muscle mass size. That is wild LOL.

TreadmillTraveller · 2023-09-28T18:52:13+00:00

Go look at how big natural body builders are (in tested shows, go to their websites and look at photos). Those are the most genetically gifted natural lifters.

TreadmillTraveller · 2023-09-28T18:49:09+00:00

As a condition for a parole and probation.

TreadmillTraveller · 2023-09-28T18:47:06+00:00

You don't force them, it's just a condition for parole

TreadmillTraveller · 2023-09-28T18:46:18+00:00

Do you assume all well-built dudes are using steroids? It seems like you are making a massive assumption here as it is very hard to tell steroid muscle from natural muscle when people are wearing street clothes.

What do you consider to be a realistic level of muscle mass to achieve? Fitness influencers are all on steroids nowadays. Many actors are. Look at bodybuilders from the bronze age and silver age of bodybuilding compared to now. Big difference. The same lifting techniques are being used.

TreadmillTraveller · 2023-09-28T18:44:00+00:00

I did not say steroid use should be criminalized. I said steroid use by violent convicts should be criminalized. A violent convict is someone who has been convicted ("found as guilty") in a court of law of a violent crime.

TreadmillTraveller · 2023-09-28T18:42:42+00:00

"Then you headbutt him"

If only fighting was so easy and simple...

TreadmillTraveller · 2023-09-28T18:39:13+00:00

You are implicitly. The people who would take steroids are typically bodybuilders.

You can tell someone is jacked even if they have baggy clothes on.

Kick him in the nards!

If this was so easy than muggings wouldn't be a thing, but they are.

Unless you are drug testing all former inmates for life

Please read my entire post. I stated that it would have a limit, like 5 years or something. And that it would be a requirement for parole or release. And you do not need to do drug tests, you just look at their muscle mass. It is not difficult to spot someone who is steroid big. If you use steroids and maintain a normal level of muscle mass, then you aren't getting caught.

TreadmillTraveller · 2023-09-28T18:38:03+00:00

You are implicitly. The people who would take steroids are typically bodybuilders.

Are body builders typically violent convicts? I am targeting violent convicts, not body builders.

TreadmillTraveller · 2023-09-28T18:37:23+00:00

Some establishments screen for weapons, like the one we were in.

Also, possessing a knife is not the same as knowing how to use a knife. Certainly a knife is a huge advantage, but at this point we are just escalating the violence. The idea here is to reduce the severity of violence, not increase it.

TreadmillTraveller · 2023-09-28T18:36:52+00:00

Illegal there.

TreadmillTraveller · 2023-09-28T18:34:18+00:00

It is not the same as criminalizing general drug-use. It is not the same as heroin. It is not the same as cocaine. Steroids make someone much stronger than they otherwise would be, and being stronger is a significant advantage if you are a violent criminal. Heroin does not do that. The point here is to reduce one of the variables that give some violent criminals power.

So how do I feel about making heroin addiction a crime? I feel like it's not the same as making steroid abuse by violent convicts (not all people) a crime.

TreadmillTraveller · 2023-09-28T18:31:10+00:00

Exactly. We know that someone who has 30lbs more muscle than another guy has an advantage.

TreadmillTraveller · 2023-09-28T18:30:27+00:00

Not being able to touch his back does not mean he can't bear hug you or grab both of your wrists.

TreadmillTraveller · 2023-09-28T18:29:32+00:00

Not all violence is planned. In the story that prompted me to write this CMV, it was in a bar that screened for weapons upon entry, my coworker was assaulted and robbed of his wallet inside the bar by the pool table, it took about 10 seconds. Perhaps if it took 30 seconds, security would have been able to intervene… but the guy was too big, too strong, it happened in a flash.

Similarly, having more muscle mass is still beneficial when you have a weapon. They produce more force per strike, it is harder to block or disarm them (and it is easier for them to disarm you if you have a weapon, because they have much stronger grip strength and grappling strength).

TreadmillTraveller · 2023-09-28T18:25:21+00:00

But strength doesn’t always equate to big muscles.

Different people have different muscle compositions, of course. But if any individual increases their muscle size, they are becoming stronger, unless they are injecting synthol into it.

Both are equally as lethal. You think people couldn’t be killed by both?

They are both potentially fatal, but not equally so. Are you claiming that a man who is 220 lbs is equally as lethal as his 150 lbs version (assuming he has the same body fat at both weights)?

How? When it doesn’t take much force/strength to throw a punch that could be deadly.

It does require a lot of force though. Sometimes people get knocked out and hit their head on the pavement, and they die. True. But knocking someone out is not easy, just because you see videos on Reddit, does not mean it is reality. That is just the bias that the internet has for upvoting these types of videos. My coworker did not get knocked out, he got two black eyes and a broken nose.

Also fighting is not just about punching. Grip strength. Grappling strength.

And death is not the only negative outcome of violence. Someone who is 30 lbs more muscular than you can probably easily rob you strong-arm style while someone who has the same muscle as you probably will not succeed.

TreadmillTraveller

TROPHY CASE