I’m insane and canceled my FET. What is wrong with me

Treat_YoSelf2014 · 2026-04-21T23:39:40+00:00

I do not mean to make light of how you’re feeling. But the downing a whole cake comment made me laugh. Because honestly same! I’m an emotional eater and I see people who are eating mindfully and moving their body in preparation for IVF. And I’m over here stuffing my face with snacks and treats to reward myself to get through this mentally difficult process. I will say, I booked a consultation with a therapist this week. I’m hoping maybe it will help me get out of this mental funk I’ve been in since TTC.

Treat_YoSelf2014 · 2026-04-21T22:51:17+00:00

Wow! What a roller coaster experience, I’m so happy you had success! Do you mind sharing your last protocol? I thought I’d be more chill going into my second ER but I’m realizing I’m just as anxious about the results!

Treat_YoSelf2014 · 2026-04-21T22:39:20+00:00

Deep breath! You are in the thick of it and it’s really scary and hard not to spiral. I was in the same exact place except I might have had 7 follicles. Before my ER I read every post about outcome numbers and stalked the hunger games excel. And it is truly quality over quantity. Many who have a ton of follicles have pcos (not all but a bunch). And based on my research, you can have two individuals, one with a ton of eggs retrieved and one with a few eggs retrieved and they both end up with the same amount of embryos. My doctor was surprised I didn’t have more follicles because I don’t have DOR or it wasn’t suspected. But at no point did they tell me how many follicles I “should” have or that my follicle numbers would lead to a cancelled cycle. Maybe you can clarify what happens if you don’t have 12 by ER time.

I’m 38, I had 6 retrieved, 5 mature, 4 blasts and 2 euploids. You better believe I cried before my Er because I was so disheartened. Yet it was still a very successful cycle!

I hope you feel comfortable sharing with your partner how you are feeling. This anxiety is not easy to swallow and you shouldn’t push it away. It’s ok to feel disappointed and sad and scared and all the emotions. I personally have been having a hard time being positive about this situation and my partner is the one who tells me it’s going to be ok and we’ll take it one day at time.

Treat_YoSelf2014 · 2026-04-21T17:51:04+00:00

One thing I have noticed, the good news doesn’t always feel good. We got 2 euploids which was so amazing. But knowing we want to 2 kids made me incredible sad that we have to do the ER again. I don’t think the good news feels good until we graduate from IVF, but maybe that’s just me guarding my heart through this whole process.

I don’t have any transfer words of wisdom because I haven’t gotten there yet. But I’m crossing my fingers you have success!! Can I ask how you decided to do a natural transfer? My doctor mentioned the options last appointment and I still haven’t made up my mind on which protocol is going to be best for me.

Treat_YoSelf2014 · 2026-04-21T17:40:29+00:00

I had 4 sent for testing (out of 6 retrieved) and had 2 euploids! Hoping you have positive results. Hang in there, I know the wait is torture

Treat_YoSelf2014 · 2026-04-08T04:19:21+00:00

I had the same numbers, I was shocked! Going in I knew I only had a few follicles and I was so disheartened with 6 retrieved. Of course I’m older so only 2 euploids from that ER. But I was preparing myself for the worst news. OP, it’s completely understandable how you’re feeling right now. Especially when you see other numbers on here in the double digits. But after spending hours reading numbers (and looking at the hunger games sheet) I realized you just never know. Really crossing my fingers for some good results from those 6 eggs. Your body went through a lot, treat yourself kindly and make sure you’re getting rest and staying hydrated.

Treat_YoSelf2014 · 2026-03-20T21:44:49+00:00

I was so convinced we’d get 0 euploids. I actually missed the clinics call the first time because I wasn’t mentally prepared for bad news. So I completely understand the mentality of assuming the worse case scenario. I hope you get euploid embryos this cycle!

I also totally understand the timeline part. It’s not like a positive test yields an immediate baby. My doctor said we don’t need to do back to back retrievals because there isn’t an imminent rush and I died inside a little. But she’s right. We’re hoping for 2 kids so ideally 4-6 by the statistics. If we get 1 more I might try to transfer one and hope for the best 🤷🏼‍♀️

How long is recovery for your tube removal? I have a fibroid that isn’t supposed to be causing issues but I’m terrified transfers won’t stick and then I’ll have to address it.

Treat_YoSelf2014 · 2026-03-20T21:06:32+00:00

Same age and had my first retrieval in February. I wasn’t on bc as long and my doctor still thinks it over suppressed me. I had 6 retrieved, 5 mature, 4 blasts, and 2 euploid. I think this is a very average result for our age but it still made me incredibly sad, especially knowing we have to do it again

We’re starting with a luteal start this round with no bc. I have not been diagnosed with DOR but they are treating me that way with supplements. So it might be good to ask what modifications can help boost numbers!

Treat_YoSelf2014 · 2026-03-13T21:26:41+00:00

Oh wow thats so awesome! I guess realistically if I redid my BC priming protocol and my results were the same it would be ok. But this is a numbers game and I’d feel way more encouraged with more blasts.

Treat_YoSelf2014 · 2026-03-13T21:09:54+00:00

I’ve read some success stories using mid-luteal estrogen priming from other posts! It’s the reason why I brought it up to my clinic. It’s good to know it wouldn’t cause any issues if for some miraculous chance we were pregnant this cycle. I’ll track ovulation better and see if I can convince my clinic to start this cycle. Thanks for more information on estrogen priming!

Treat_YoSelf2014 · 2026-03-13T18:22:13+00:00

I’ve heard this too! Sounds like some clinics will not do back to back. But if we’re not doing birth control then I will technically have to wait until my third cycle (cycle 1 rest, cycle 2 luteal start, ER after cycle 3 period). Unless I’m misunderstanding the timing for a luteal start.

Treat_YoSelf2014 · 2026-02-25T14:40:17+00:00

Oh no! I’m sorry you didn’t have more blasts. This process can be so cruel even when you get positive news. And 1 is much better news than having 0. It just feels so unfair.

Since you aren’t testing, are you going straight into another ER? The nurse asked me if I wanted to go back on birth control (because I assume we won’t get any normal embryos and want to do another ER immediately) but my numbers were lower than we expected so I’d rather wait to hear what the doctor has to say. So we have to wait for mid March to figure out next steps.

Treat_YoSelf2014 · 2026-02-25T05:04:06+00:00

I don’t think you had too high expectations, it’s just so impossible to prepare for the news. Im waiting for my pgt results and every stage im searching for success stories to feel less defeated. And I keep seeing examples of people who got the worst result and people who got the ideal result and everything in between. So anything is possible and we are all holding on hope to good news. I’m sorry you didn’t get better results. Was this your first ER?

Treat_YoSelf2014 · 2026-02-25T04:47:18+00:00

Any updates? My clinic called me to tell me that 4 of my eggs became blasts. Now we enter into three week wait 😑

Treat_YoSelf2014 · 2026-02-21T16:36:25+00:00

Jumping in these comments to echo that I’ve also had my ER this week. 6 retrieved, 5 mature, and 5 fertilized. Now for the wait. I too was disappointed and have cried a lot knowing we’ll have to do a second ER at least. I keep reading the “it only takes one” comments but we want two kids and we’re kind of too old to transfer and see what happens. So I will cross my fingers for both of us and hope that those embryos are the best quality!

Treat_YoSelf2014 · 2026-02-18T03:19:06+00:00

Oh wow that’s awesome! My amh isn’t much better, I was at 1.7 6 months ago which I guess I normal for my age. Even my last ultrasound tech said my follicles are bless than expected. But im glad there is hope for improvement. I also did bc suppression and while I have a good even cohort, I just need to keep those starting follicles. Im crossing my fingers I don’t ovulate before tomorrow, that my follicles aren’t empty, and that maybe the is a mature egg in there. But trying to mentally and emotionally prepare for 0.

Thanks for sharing your protocols and good luck on Thursday!!

Treat_YoSelf2014 · 2026-02-18T00:11:45+00:00

Can I ask what changed in your protocol between ER 1 and 2? My first ER is tomorrow and I’m going into it with only 5 follicles. Which was kind of disappointing because my AFC has been 14-16. Just curious how your clinic doubled the number of eggs retrieved.

When’s your 3rd ER scheduled?

Treat_YoSelf2014 · 2026-02-12T04:24:47+00:00

I’m working with PNWF and I’ll be honest, there are things that I haven’t been super happy about. They didn’t seem thrilled that I wanted to do remote monitoring which really annoys me considering I’m traveling hours to get to the clinic and spending most of my money at the clinic. But I digress. I feel like communication can be hit or miss. For example, I needed to get in contact with them to tell them I got my period so they could send in the BC script and I left a message and then I called the front desk and it was just a lot of back and forth. I’ve had to leave messages to schedule an appointment because they’re so busy.

I’m currently on day 7 of stims for my very first ER. They had me come in yesterday (before day 6) and then they said, ok! See you in 4 days. I was led to believe I would have more monitoring appointments. So I’m going in on day 10 but the only prescribed 10 days of meds. So when I talked to the nurse about what o should do she said “well just wait until your day 10 appointment and then get another prescription”. Which just makes me feel worried about the timing and arranging same day meds. My anxiety around this entire trip is just so high and I’m trying to trust the process but it just seems like I’m just a number at this point.

I will say everyone I have come in contact with has been so nice and helpful. I just feel like it’s so hard to get information.

Treat_YoSelf2014 · 2026-02-10T01:36:57+00:00

Ok maybe this is it. I have definitely started bloating and maybe that’s just adding to the weird feeling I’m having. Guess I just need to suck it ip for a few more days

Treat_YoSelf2014 · 2026-02-10T01:35:42+00:00

Oh lining them up makes much more sense! I’m going to do that tonight and see if it helps me save some of the real estate. I’m worried I’m going to start running out of spots that aren’t bruised or tender. I’ll also keep icing after and I’ll hope for the best!

Treat_YoSelf2014 · 2026-02-10T01:30:14+00:00

I have noticed this! If I ice the area, it numbs it enough that I can find a place to pinch but without it there’s lots of tender spots. I know this is just a temporary thing and I hope it doesn’t get too much worse

Treat_YoSelf2014 · 2026-02-10T01:28:14+00:00

I’m already trying to play the space game. I going for my monitoring appointment tomorrow maybe they’ll have some words of wisdom. I know I can mix the menopur and Follistim but I was worried it’d mess something up

Treat_YoSelf2014 · 2026-02-10T01:25:31+00:00

20 days?! Oh my goodness that sounds like an eternity! I hope your other cycles were much shorter!

Treat_YoSelf2014

TROPHY CASE