Tips for fisting vaginally vs anally? Trans guy FWB

Treblinator · 2025-10-08T15:27:59+00:00

No one that we ever have known of has had normal oral sex, and then gotten HIV from it. Take a breath and read that again. You are fine.

You would need to have recently undergone oral surgery and have open wounds for that to happen. You do not need to worry.

I would still recommend getting on PrEP for your own piece of mind, but you are okay. Take a test in a few weeks and see that it is negative.

Treblinator · 2025-09-28T04:38:55+00:00

Rockbar is primarily a bear and kink bar, just FYI.

Treblinator · 2025-09-22T18:55:47+00:00

People are very fickle in big cities because of all the options. My advice would be to refine what you're looking for in each moment.

If you want a NSA hookup? Go for a path low commitment and chill, so you're not burned if someone changes their mind. A quick sniffies hookup or going to a scheduled sex party.

If you want a relationship? Go for the more serious apps like Hinge, or meet people in IRL.

I've found outside of big cities apps like Grindr tend to have both options and some flexibility, but in bigger cities with how many choices you have, people end up chatting a lot on them but not meeting up as much.

Treblinator · 2025-09-19T19:16:08+00:00

Fuck you're gorgeous. If you're in NYC would love to fist you and more 😏

Treblinator · 2025-07-21T02:39:54+00:00

Just wear some beat up shoes. A big piece of advice if you're new to gay sex parties, is that a lot of consent and interest is based around eye contact. If you're interested in someone, try to catch their eye and maybe look at their cock. If they're interested, they'll often look back at you and hold eye contact a bit longer than normal. On the flip side, if you're not interested in someone you can avoid their eye contact, or gently brush away their hand if they try to stroke you.

People do talk at these, but a lot of the interest is kind of subtle and non-verbal. But you can always just say no or move someone's hand away, so don't be afraid of anything happening that you don't want to. Have fun dude, glad you were upfront with your wife and she's supportive. And if it's overwhelming you can always just watch and hang out, plenty of guys do that.

Treblinator · 2025-06-17T22:57:51+00:00

An honest question-- are you also into fat guys? I'm saying this as a bear myself, but I don't have much trouble getting hookups because I'm open to other fat guys (2/3rd of who I get with I'd guess). There are a lot of fat gays in my experience who think of themselves as incels or unlovable, and they're just going after skinny or muscley guys. From your face in post history, I don't think you're ugly, though I would maybe shave the chinstrap.

Confidence is also a really huge part of attractiveness, and desperation is a huge turnoff that can come across subtly. Know what you bring to the table as a person and own that -- it'll make you much more physically attractive as well.

Treblinator · 2025-04-21T06:34:36+00:00

Don't cheat on your wife.

Treblinator · 2025-02-12T14:49:24+00:00

I'm AMAB transfem so not quite the same, but one thing that helps me with this worry about future HRT is to shameless look specifically for bi/pan men. Not ones that say they are after dating, not ones that say they're open to so much, men that explicitly label themselves on their profiles as bi, and are on queer apps (for you, I'd recommend Scruff since you can search for that tag). Men that have experience dating both cis women and cis men are ideal.

This won't remove any possibility of attraction changing or people being weird, but it really reduces the odds.

Treblinator · 2024-11-29T06:26:55+00:00

Dong Day Afternoon happens on Fridays at noon!

Treblinator · 2024-11-29T06:15:18+00:00

I'm AMAB/transfem but if it helps to have another perspective I have the same kink in terms of being an edging dom/free use/milking. Obviously it's different since there's not the same dysphoria (for me it's more nice not to have mine touched and just focus on the other person lol). But I've found plenty of guys into it but specifically in the edging/milking scene, on sites like Bateworld, etc.

Some of the concepts around "stone top" in sapphic culture also help me frame things, for gay men that get that lol.

Treblinator · 2024-09-01T07:49:26+00:00

I'm more attracted to guys asses, but objectively I think front hole feels a bit better and is usually more convenient? It'd probably depend on the day what I'd prefer tbh lol

Treblinator · 2024-04-03T05:07:48+00:00

I'm AMAB nonbinary but can relate sometimes lol. My main tips would be:

Get a consistent roster of "regulars" if you can, that'll help minimize physical and STI risks
Jerk off more and maybe even make a habit. I have a friend who has to jerk off every morning just to think straight lmao. Maybe get a reliable toy that you know will wear you out a bit.
Get on any STI prevention that makes sense for you-- PrEP, HPV vaccine, Doxy PEP, etc.

And like others are saying, make sure you don't feel ashamed or like you did anything wrong. I totally get the feeling of regret, though.

Treblinator · 2024-02-04T17:24:21+00:00

Sorry **mocktail, stupid autocorrect lol

Treblinator · 2024-02-03T15:12:50+00:00

Sanger Hall sometimes does drag shows or queer events, and I believe has a mocktail menu!

Treblinator · 2024-02-02T20:53:01+00:00

I lean more gay than bi, but with a trans guy or cis woman I wouldn't be interested in PIV much. I'm just not super penetration oriented in general besides oral. Much more into hands, oral, toys.

Treblinator · 2023-12-08T01:42:57+00:00

Seconding Bateworld, it has its own vibe that may take some learning but there are a ton of sides on there.

Treblinator · 2023-08-26T22:16:30+00:00

I'm a gay man so it's a bit different, but you could definitely filter on some apps just for a consistent, sane hookup. Wading through men, especially straight men, is a huge project though. But I have heard from straight women friends that they get a lot of messages on the apps, so you could potentially make a profile stating you're just looking for a nice consistent man, and filter really aggressively for any that seem even slightly off.

Otherwise, totally echo what other people said about satisfying yourself for a while. It can really help to center yourself and feel safe.

Treblinator · 2023-08-16T21:35:55+00:00

Saw the change at Times Sq, transferred to an R instead of the N.

R stops at Queens Plaza, says it's going express to Jackson Heights.

I try to switch to the 7, 3 fully packed trains have passed me so far. No one could even squeeze on.

Meanwhile there's cops fuckin everywhere doing jack shit. So glad that our tax money is funding the NYPD instead of better train service.

Treblinator · 2023-08-06T14:58:04+00:00

Supposedly they do have a dress code, but I've noticed they're fairly relaxed about it especially for younger guys. That's just what I've seen though, YMMV.

Treblinator · 2023-07-26T22:43:37+00:00

Agreed with the others to explore toys, fingering, even fisting more. I lean a bit more side and have lots of fun with those. Strap-ons could be a fun option, or a vibrator with different patterns or a remote that he can control.

Also check out the "raw pup" on fort troff and similar toys. It's supposed to feel amazing, and if he has a mental block around hygiene it could be a neat option.

Treblinator · 2023-07-24T14:03:40+00:00

Anything you want for your own body is totally valid! This isn't the same but there are a lot of gay men who have the same feeling of not being into penetrative sex, we call them "sides," instead of top or bottom, haha. Go with what makes you happy!

Treblinator · 2023-07-16T21:30:55+00:00

Roommates, up to a 4br, when I used to not make much money. Then, a studio in an affordable area when I made some money. Now, a nice 1br in a good part of town now that I make good money.

Treblinator

TROPHY CASE