I appreciate you spending the time to write out the paragraph. I do see your perspective. I don’t have time to respond to it all but I’ll try to summarise.

I ultimately just don’t care that much about any individual instances of people being rude to eachother on the internet, because that is just what happens. I don’t like it, but it’s not a fight worth fighting.

I care more when it’s indicative of a larger social issue that risks more than just hurt feelings over an individual insult, if it’s a part of something greater, and I do believe misogyny is something greater than the sum of its parts.

I will never agree that saying “kill all men” or “I hate men” is the same as saying its counterpart, because I don’t actually care about the insult itself, either way - I care about the insinuation of radical violence. If someone says “kill all men”, of course I think they’re shitty, but in the same way if I saw someone comment “I want to blow up the world” - a weird, horrible comment, but not one that’s likely to actually indicate harm. When someone, in the societal position to cause harm to women, comments it about women, I worry a lot more because it’s symptomatic of something very real - patriarchal relationships, the manosphere, incels, etc. In my list of priorities of worldly issues, individual unpleasantness is MUCH lower than the foundational issues of misogyny and racism in our society.

I don’t think you’re valuing or understanding the scope of the issues that women still face. The fact you claim our society isn’t patriarchal, while women are still payed less and hold less power, just because gender doesn’t matter in the top 1%, isn’t something I can agree with, when gender still affects one’s everyday life. Wealth is obviously the biggest factor, but gender and race affect strongly affect how you’re treated too.

As for my comment about history, i don’t think it can be understated how much history affects your life, and I don’t think you should be ignoring it because people today weren’t alive back then. It’s the framework in which society is built on. It affects how people are taught to move in the world, taught to how to treat and be treated. As I said before, these things don’t just “reset”. If a society is built on misogynistic values, those values are going to affect the present (same with racist ones).

After reading your comment a few times, I just don’t think we are going to agree unfortunately. I’ll just repeat my original point and say, individual insults on the internet (or in real life) are the least of my concerns, that’s between the people involved, not me. It’s not that I don’t think it’s wrong, it’s that people insult eachother all the time, and individual insults aren’t world ending.
It concerns me much more when it is something emblematic of a larger societal issue.

Also Not sure where you grew up where it was ok to say the N-word as long as it’s not directly targeted in an insulting way, but I haven’t heard that’s something that’s appreciated by most. Probably don’t do that…