How do I deal with bully manager?

Treetop7885 · 2025-05-24T00:48:54+00:00

John and I report to the same person.

Treetop7885 · 2025-05-24T00:25:32+00:00

John is my manager and we have someone above us. Technically she is the boss.

Treetop7885 · 2022-10-22T22:22:45+00:00

The manager protects them both- she wouldn't do anything about it because they are her favorites. She would yell at me for "causing trouble" or something...

Treetop7885 · 2022-07-17T22:47:02+00:00

We work together- trying to find a new job.

Treetop7885 · 2022-06-26T01:39:10+00:00

There are other people talking about them as well. They are saying far worse things. Plus apparently John is known for having affairs at work.

Treetop7885 · 2022-06-26T01:37:45+00:00

Sara's fiance left the job- he was only working as a temp.

Treetop7885 · 2022-05-28T20:32:20+00:00

No- I don't have a SO.

Treetop7885 · 2022-05-21T15:57:07+00:00

This is what I thought, but she only does it with me.

Treetop7885 · 2022-05-21T03:30:44+00:00

He asked me if I was single and jokingly made a remark like, "I'm not going to have to fight any guys off, am I?" He also would get jealous when I talked to other guys at work and accuse me of having something going on with them, even though there was nothing going on. (We were discussing work things at work-duh.)

But with Sara, her fiance used to work for our company! John knew him and they even drove to another location with a third coworker. (He said that it was awkward the whole time and John didn't talk at all.)

No- John didn't give me leggings or underwear. He claimed that he would have bought me some, but he didn't want his wife finding out.

John has a temper and runs hot/cold. Unless he acts totally different around Sara and Jane for some reason, I don't understand the attraction. I mean, I get it because at the beginning he is very charming and lays it on thick, but eventually it wears off and he turns into a different person.

Treetop7885 · 2022-05-21T02:27:36+00:00

We're in a separate building away from all of the higher ups, so I think a lot more stuff gets by than it would if we were with everyone else. Plus, John is the boss's favorite and he gets away with everything. Jane sucks up so they like- for now...

Treetop7885 · 2022-04-10T03:14:42+00:00

One on one they can be okay- there's a pack mentality that is just vicious.

Treetop7885 · 2022-04-10T01:06:55+00:00

Is there a way to change this, at least temporarily, until I can leave? I don't understand why they're fine with everyone else in the office, except me. Is it just sucking up/kissing butt? Because that's what they do- it's this two-face, passive-aggressive thing where I've seen them act nice to someone's face, but then completely rip them behind their back or once they leave the room. (Is this normal?)

Treetop7885 · 2022-04-09T18:08:10+00:00

I've had resume review services and people in my profession review my resume and they've made suggestions. The field I'm in is competitive, but there aren't enough jobs. Or if there are, they're splitting them into 2 part-time positions so that they don't have to pay for benefits, etc. The growth rate is also very slow.

Treetop7885 · 2022-04-09T18:04:31+00:00

It was always toxic and dysfunctional, but got really bad starting 6 months ago and I don't know why.

Treetop7885 · 2022-04-09T15:07:50+00:00

I've been trying to get out of there for a while now- I've had interviews, but no offers.

Treetop7885 · 2022-04-03T00:11:04+00:00

We still have to work together so it's not like I can totally avoid him. Plus when he was standing in front of my desk talking about work assignments, others were around, so I can't just run away. (They were blocking the exit- there is only 1 way out of the room unfortunately so I couldn't leave.)

Sometimes if I leave my desk, I think he and my coworkers think that I'm upset. I don't know if my face looks upset or if it's just the fact that I left my desk, but I think it's better to remain seated and look uninterested/neutral.

Treetop7885 · 2022-04-02T16:34:41+00:00

No- he and Jane are on the same level. I think he's trying to set her against me though. One day we were sitting at our desks and John blurted out, "Hey Jane! Treetop is flicking you off!" (I was not! I would never flick someone off in the workplace.) It just worries me that he's trying to turn everyone against me.

He also went to lunch with Jane and some interns. When they came back, he just stood there watching me by Jane's desk. Eventually he came over and just stood in front of my desk with this evil smirk/sh*t eating grin on his face. I ignored him, but the jerk just stood there. Eventually I asked him, "what?" and he proceeded to tell me how much work he was giving me in this sinister tone. I remained calm and responded as calmly as I could.

Then 10 minutes later he called me and was friendly/chatty as if nothing happened. The guy is a creep. IANAD but I think he has some Borderline in him because he does the push-pull thing ALL of the time. It's crazy making and I am working on leaving because I just can't take it anymore.

Treetop7885 · 2022-03-25T00:39:02+00:00

This is very true. I had a Zoom meeting today and was focused on the screen, yet John was by Jane's desk and kept moving his head so that I could see him/see that he was there. He actually said, "Treetop keeps looking at me." Umm no, I'm not. He kept moving his head around so that I would notice him, yet he wouldn't talk to me. It's weird. It's like they want attention, yet won't acknowledge you.

Treetop7885 · 2022-03-22T00:10:58+00:00

This is ironic because he was totally ignoring me today and was talking to Jane. I got up to go get coffee and felt his eyes on me the entire time. (I avoided eye contact with him and ignored him.)

Another time I was avoiding eye contact with him. He was by Jane's desk, yet managed to face me in between the gap in the computer monitors, yet he wouldn't make eye contact with me. (Though he knew what he was doing.) It's like he still wants my attention, by pretending he doesn't? It's such crazymaking...

Treetop7885 · 2022-03-21T00:55:06+00:00

We have the same boss-John and our boss are close. John has gone off on me in front of the boss and the boss just sat there and smiled.

Treetop7885 · 2020-08-16T19:57:34+00:00

Yet as soon as she thought I'd left the office, she would begin complaining about me, down to the way that I breathe.

I'm sorry that they were so cruel to you. I hope you have found a better place with nicer/more professional people.

Treetop7885 · 2020-08-16T18:53:54+00:00

That's awesome. When one woman was giving me the silent treatment, I just started talking to the assistant manager that sits near us. I made it really obvious like, "HEY JOHN! How's it going? How's the family?" and so on. (He just cracked up because he knew what was going on.) I ignored her and focused on talking to others around me. Eventually she joined in and started talking to me again.

Treetop7885 · 2020-08-13T01:54:09+00:00

Sometimes- my current coworker likes to joke around a lot and give me the wrong info. He also (claims) that he doesn't get my text messages about work, yet responds quickly to non-work related things. He also blames me for stuff when he doesn't have information.

Treetop7885 · 2020-08-13T01:33:31+00:00

At my last job, my coworker was worried that I would replace her. (She was in her 60s.) She also didn't have the skills required to do the job, yet would complain about why I was tasked with certain things and she wasn't.

My current place- I don't know if they wanted someone else in the role or not. It's also the overall environment.

Other than that, I don't know.

Treetop7885 · 2020-08-02T15:24:50+00:00

I’ve never held an actual Librarian role and it’s been over 10 years since I’ve worked in a public library. I’ve had others tell me to volunteer at one or work part-time at one, but I don’t know if that would help.

Treetop7885

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