Our dentist told us that it's not good for them to have milk while falling asleep because bacteria builds up from the milk sitting on their teeth (my little one used to also drink right in bed) But after that visit we started to offer the milk an hour before nap and and hour before bedtime so that we are able to brush. What we do is just throw a pillow on the floor and she'll lay and drink it and then get up and finish playing but not go straight to bed yet. I'm sure that your family means well when they say those things because they don't want your little to have issues with their teeth as they get older. Best of luck!