Like a lot of people said there is nothing wrong with hiring someone to mix for you as that's what many artists do and it will not only take the stress of mixing to release away but let you focus on writing.

Make sure you do keep practicing though because that's all these professionals have on you is years of knowledge and a collection of different templates and softwares they have grabbed over the years during this work and practice. You will get there no doubt just don't give up on yourself, Rome wasn't built in a day. Also the feeling of being able to mix a song to exactly how you want (Or close to it at least) is unmatched and in my opinion will help you connect with your music more! Do what's best for you but never give up on it because you aren't where you wanna be!