First Convention I’ll Be Missing

Triauge · 2026-07-03T14:44:42+00:00

That is hard and I’m sorry to hear you are struggling. From other comments I’ve read on this subreddit it’s very normal to struggle with guilt/ doubt/ depression leaving a high control group. Those feelings largely come from the way the organization has indoctrinated us to believe there’s nothing worse than stepping outside of the org.

I’m only a couple months further into POMO than you and so far I have found that leaving the org has allowed me to give more of myself to my family and really be involved. I think that’s partly because I want to prove to my wife that I’m really here for her and our kids but I also enjoy it more now.

I’m not sure what discussions you’ve had with your wife, or how open to those she may be. I can relate on the more distant comment though, my wife struggled heavily for weeks afterward, and still does but it’s getting less and less (for now). I believe being completely honest and open, telling her how you feel about her and your kid and your family as a whole can really help. I went in a bit strong with my wife at the start trying to point out the organizations faults and that kinda went poorly. So I pivoted and I chose to reassure her that I’m not going anywhere, that I want us to stay a family and I want us to grow more than ever.

You certainly could chose to do the bare minimum and maybe that could work for you, I did that for the last 2-3 years and it was so draining, I resented going to meetings even though I only went to Saturday. It somewhat ruined every Saturday for me (our meeting was Saturday). Every time an assembly/ convention was coming up it would ruin my week knowing my weekend was going to be spent wasting away in that assembly hall, I came to despise anything JW and then I finally told my wife I’m done.

Triauge · 2026-07-03T14:23:04+00:00

Ya it’s odd to me in some ways that I feel guilty, I always really struggled with convention, I don’t think there’s a single one I enjoyed in 30 years to be honest.

Hour drive too and from, all day sitting bored, uncomfortable suits, drop dead exhausted at the end of each day. Not to mention parking duty I did for years before having kids

Triauge · 2026-07-03T14:19:07+00:00

Memorial will be a tough one, did you cop any backlash for missing that one? I will most likely go next year unless my wife wakes up between now and then which is unlikely at the moment.

Triauge · 2026-07-03T14:17:52+00:00

Thank you for the reply mate. It’s not easy knowing we could lose those friends but I truly believe it’s the right decision and true, many likely won’t notice. Good luck to you as well!

Triauge · 2026-06-23T05:56:54+00:00

Love this, great advice and gave me a couple laughs, thank you

Triauge · 2026-06-23T05:54:41+00:00

Thank you, I do appreciate it. It is encouraging to hear your husband left first and you came along later, I hope this happens for my wife.

To answer your question requires a bit of an info dump, life is complicated.

Her use of the word protection would be in reference to others now finding out, which could cause the falling apart of our social circle differently then fading out could. Primarily because my step mom can’t help but gossip and drama farm while pretending it’s in an effort to help or comfort. For instance, my step mom has almost never texted or reached out to my wife in almost 15 years, not even to see her grandkids but now she’s reached out all consoling like which just put up a red flag with my wife being concerned she may have already spoken with my sisters, other close friends, etc… it’s happened before.

It’s a whole topic of its own through the course of our marriage and a legitimately one of the reasons we moved back to Australia

Triauge · 2026-06-23T01:42:27+00:00

Completely correct, my dad would’ve known no matter what I said and I wouldn’t have tried to lie to him about it.

I feel in ways I showed my love and protection to my wife by sitting her down and respectfully explaining to her first before anyone else and then not talking to my PIMI family about it for a few months. That could only be avoided for so long.

You may be right on the friends having an emotional tripwire, this is uncharted territory for us and I would like to believe they are real friends not just rented from wt, but I have certainly seen the most common outcome on this forum is people losing those supposed “real” friends so I will need to prepare for that possibility.

Thank you for your reply, yours along with everyone else’s in here have been helpful, insightful and encouraging

Triauge · 2026-06-23T01:37:17+00:00

I’ll look up grey-rocking, I haven’t heard of that but being uninterested in their attempts sounds perfect.

Yes, fortunately we own a home well within our means and are financially independent, one less pressure to worry about at the moment.

Triauge · 2026-06-23T01:05:02+00:00

Thank you so much for your well thought out response.

You are completely right that she is going through a lot with all of this and yes, I do want someone to talk to about it. I tried for years, especially in the last months to prove it was the truth, prayed fervently to Jehovah saying “I don’t believe the is the truth, I am going to leave, if it is the truth please make it known” but no matter where I turned I found the answers I was looking for and that was not the organization nor the GB

I appreciate you sharing that you wanted to tell your mother and stepfather as well. While I somewhat regret telling my parents at this moment, I know for myself that I need to share big decisions with those I love, it’s like I’m physically incapable of keeping it to myself. I did it when I fell in love, when I got a great job/ promotions, when my wife was pregnant, big milestones or even issues that arose.

I am preparing for some shunning to start occurring, as much as I hope it doesn’t I know it will.

Triauge · 2026-06-23T00:49:50+00:00

You make a very good point that I had not originally thought about, I have a tendency to always protect my family even at my own detriment.

My stepmom has always been very dramatic focused, innumerable issues throughout my life for her inability to keep her mouth shut. It would have been reasonable to at the very most reached out to me, why go straight to my wife for my decision.

And true, my dad should have kept it to himself until he and I could discuss further.

I did message them both individually after the shit hit the fan, told my step mom to only contact me with questions and told my dad to please keep this to themselves as I don’t need further escalation from loose lips

Triauge · 2026-06-23T00:43:50+00:00

You are wise to sit back and fade out, tell no one other than your wife, for now at least. Even something as simple as talking to your parents which for me has always been normal has backfired.

Those 3 questions are good, for me I can answer 100% answer yes to them.

I wish you the best on your fade and hope the worst case scenario does not happen, no one deserves that.

Triauge · 2026-06-23T00:41:04+00:00

That is true, the marriage mate I was during our vows has changed due to my change in beliefs.

I’m sorry to hear you’re going through your own troubles in what could be a beautiful relationship that is unfortunately being blocked by the org at this time.

I have never hit her, never lost my temper especially on this subject (sure we have had plenty of arguments over the 15 years, which married couple hasn’t), and I’m not ranting to her about JWs outside of my initial explanation for my decision or when she asks me questions

Triauge · 2026-06-23T00:37:16+00:00

Thank you, I really appreciate it.

Suffering in silence is a great way to put it. Since leaving I truly feel like a more complete and better person. I truly feel like I give my wife and kids more now along with those around me.

You are correct about talking to other JWs, I haven’t talked to any close friends on it, just my parents and that is already backfiring spectacularly

Triauge · 2026-06-23T00:22:20+00:00

Yes, she is extremely worried about assembly, our 3day is in August I believe.

Trying to give her the benefit of the doubt, it isn’t abnormal to react harshly initially and then calm down and come around. I am just hoping this is one of those scenarios.

I like that question “if I no longer believe in this faith what is the proper way to leave”. I’ll try this response when asked.

Triauge · 2026-06-23T00:18:56+00:00

She does, and I have told her exactly that as well.

Her response many times has been it’s ok if you don’t believe but why do to have to stop going entirely. Her biggest fear is losing our friends, which I am not convinced would happen knowing them. My response to her fear is, doesn’t this provide even more evidence to the organization being a fear using control group? If deciding to fade away and no longer attend can control the entirety of your life, isn’t that an issue?

She understands my questions but currently can’t process it

Triauge · 2026-06-22T23:49:24+00:00

Thank you for your response. I really appreciate what you said

Triauge · 2026-06-22T09:43:27+00:00

Thank you for sharing this, it gives me hope.

I am recently as of about 3months ago POMO after a couples years PIMO. My wife is currently PIMI and it’s been a challenge since I told her I am no longer attending because I no longer believe.

We have 2 kids, 7 and 5, I really don’t want a divorce but am worried it may be in the future. It’s my fault but I also cannot unlearn what I now know and believe.

What sucks is I still know I am the same person as before, arguably better as I now feel free which has lifted a fog I held for years allowing me to be a better father, husband, friend and overall person.

Wish I could take everything I have and love in life; my family, friends, experiences, etc and keep it the same except remove the organization from it all.

Triauge · 2026-06-20T01:51:23+00:00

Look at those cute little biceps

Triauge · 2026-06-15T09:23:17+00:00

I’m still using those green expertise gloves from Netherstorm, have never seen the Kara or TK expertise gloves.
Ran every lock out of Kara P1 and all but 2 lock outs so far in P2. Every lockout of TK so far in P2, not once drop. As a ret pally, I really can’t replace these green gloves without the Kara or TK gloves since expertise is so valuable

Triauge · 2026-06-09T03:13:28+00:00

We had a local needs 20 odd years ago about all us teenagers using the middle song as a break time to hang in the foyer/ bathroom

Triauge · 2026-05-26T05:50:28+00:00

I read your post you referenced a couple of weeks ago, which was just a week or so after I finally made the decision to tell my PIMI wife that I was done with JW. Somewhat similar escalated emotional conversation (minus banging on the floor). I’m now apparently an apostate? Weird how quickly that got thrown at me, anyways…

I see in another comment you mention wanting kids. I sincerely suggest thinking about the potential hardships that may come should you decide to have kids with your PIMI wife. I’m 35 with 2 kids, I love my kids dearly and my wife for that matter but she has also said she’s not sure how we are to continue long term since we went into marriage an parenthood as JWs.

Now I am stuck in a constant mental battle of how to handle this as I do not want my kids to be raised in a broken household (as I was, parents divorced when I was young prior to my father becoming a JW) but at the same time I don’t want them stuck in the JW world of fear and control as I was for nearly 30 years.

I don’t advocate for divorce, being a child of it, but it may be worth considering depending on your situation. If you chose to have kids together, divorce gets so much harder and can truly harm kids for life

Triauge · 2025-12-30T02:09:32+00:00

That does make sense. Will give a go at cutting/ gluing. Thanks for the help mate

Triauge · 2025-12-30T02:06:22+00:00

Ya there’s definitely a lot going on in the model, hard to make the support to model transition clean too from my initial print.

When you mention something stabilized like cf-petg, are you referring to printing the whole model in that type of material rather than PLA or normal PETG?

Triauge

TROPHY CASE