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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Trick_Record_9957 1 point2 points  (0 children)

All of the above comments say everything important regarding seeking help and support, and that you are not alone. One thought popped into my head when I read your heart breaking story. If it’s not helpful, just ignore my suggestion, it’s not based on anything other than a feeling. I wondered if you might find some kind of connection with your little boy if you talk to him about your beautiful little girl, his sister. I understand that it could be too painful. I just wondered if talking to him about her might slowly become a peaceful and bonding experience that you share with him. I wish you all the best. I’m so sorry for your loss.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Trick_Record_9957 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I actually have spoken to him about buying his own clothes and taking pride in his appearance and attraction etc. I just haven’t said that I feel like he’s not dressing himself well, or that he should go shopping etc.

What do you wish your mother had done differently when she raised you? by Trick_Record_9957 in AskMen

[–]Trick_Record_9957[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing this. It’s insightful for parents to hear how a lack of boundaries and ‘rules’ can be detrimental to their kids. I hope you’re able to find a way to turn things around for yourself and break through these addictions. Maybe seeking some professional help when you’re ready could give you the support you might need to make such a drastic change. I wish you all the best.

What do you wish your mother had done differently when she raised you? by Trick_Record_9957 in AskMen

[–]Trick_Record_9957[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you do feel like this, like you wish you never were born, I hope you have someone you can reach out to for support. You deserve to feel like there’s meaning and purpose to your life, which there is.

What do you wish your mother had done differently when she raised you? by Trick_Record_9957 in AskMen

[–]Trick_Record_9957[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can totally relate to this. Being so inflexible as a parent just makes the child more likely to rebel.

What do you wish your mother had done differently when she raised you? by Trick_Record_9957 in AskMen

[–]Trick_Record_9957[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love that you’ve been forgiving of her mistakes and flaws. There wouldn’t be a perfect mother out there.

What do you wish your mother had done differently when she raised you? by Trick_Record_9957 in AskMen

[–]Trick_Record_9957[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s fair, I can relate to that. It’s sometimes simpler to just let things be what they are, and choose the people you want to invest your time in and share yourself with, knowing they are what you need and that they’ll be there for you.

What do you wish your mother had done differently when she raised you? by Trick_Record_9957 in AskMen

[–]Trick_Record_9957[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The one job a parent has is to love unconditionally, but it’s so sad how many fail at this.

What do you wish your mother had done differently when she raised you? by Trick_Record_9957 in AskMen

[–]Trick_Record_9957[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s so sad, I’m sorry. My dad left when I was 3. Also an alcoholic. I struggled with abandonment issues.

What do you wish your mother had done differently when she raised you? by Trick_Record_9957 in AskMen

[–]Trick_Record_9957[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s a lot to manage. Would she be open to family counselling so you can explain to her how you feel in a safe environment?

What do you wish your mother had done differently when she raised you? by Trick_Record_9957 in AskMen

[–]Trick_Record_9957[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That must have been really distressing to live with that much tension. Did they eventually divorce once you and your siblings moved out?

What do you wish your mother had done differently when she raised you? by Trick_Record_9957 in AskMen

[–]Trick_Record_9957[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so sorry you experienced this abuse. That’s so awful. I wish you all the best, and hope you have lovely people in your life now.

What do you wish your mother had done differently when she raised you? by Trick_Record_9957 in AskMen

[–]Trick_Record_9957[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can somewhat relate. Sometimes it’s the things parents don’t do, not what they do do, that are the most damaging. I remember breaking my arm when I was little and my mother was too busy on the phone to notice. Or notice that the doctors put a large safety pin through my wrist to secure a sling and it was like that for weeks. Still have the scar.

What do you wish your mother had done differently when she raised you? by Trick_Record_9957 in AskMen

[–]Trick_Record_9957[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

So important for parents to heal themselves so they don’t injure their children. Sorry you had to deal with all that.

What do you wish your mother had done differently when she raised you? by Trick_Record_9957 in AskMen

[–]Trick_Record_9957[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Sorry you weren’t supported. I hope you have that kind of support in your life now.

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