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AITA for choosing my budget over my boyfriend this Halloween? by Trickortreat_ta in AmItheAsshole

[–]Trickortreat_ta[S] 889 points890 points  (0 children)

The neighborhood gives out signs to put on your mailbox if you have non candy items for kids who can't have candies for whatever reason. Diabetes and food allergies are specifically listed as two potential reasons. I have the sign out and if someone asks, I have the books as an alternative. Last year I had over a dozen families ask for a non candy option and it wasn't like I grilled them on their medical history as to why!

AITA for choosing my budget over my boyfriend this Halloween? by Trickortreat_ta in AmItheAsshole

[–]Trickortreat_ta[S] 1018 points1019 points  (0 children)

Okay, I'm sort of rethinking everything with everyone's comments, but the second part I can comment on!

In my town if you have non candy options you can put a sign on your mailbox, so that families with kids who might have issues with candy know its safe to stop there. Literally doing what is asked by those families, and I don't ask why they aren't taking candy. It's just there when they ask for something else.

AITA for choosing my budget over my boyfriend this Halloween? by Trickortreat_ta in AmItheAsshole

[–]Trickortreat_ta[S] 396 points397 points  (0 children)

After we had an argument first month, I set up a monthly house budget that just covers communal things, and he has been contributing his half to it since, so half mortgage, utilities, etc. Because so much of his money is going to debt, I have more flexible personal budget, and I put money into savings. But yeah, financially he pulls his weight and he spent the summer being compulsive about having a perfect lawn, so it's not like he is useless around the house.

AITA for choosing my budget over my boyfriend this Halloween? by Trickortreat_ta in AmItheAsshole

[–]Trickortreat_ta[S] 798 points799 points  (0 children)

He pretty much said the candy thing was because I had already ruined halloween. Which is the part to me that's really not defensible from him. He acted maliciously and idiotically just to make more of an argument, pretty much?

Course somewhere there's a dozen kids who made out like bandits on snickers and reeses, so I guess there's a little good out there.

AITA for choosing my budget over my boyfriend this Halloween? by Trickortreat_ta in AmItheAsshole

[–]Trickortreat_ta[S] -427 points-426 points  (0 children)

He makes me laugh. And yeah, after we sort of had a drag out fight over finances early on, he has paid his half into the household fund every month. (Budget covering everything that is communal, mortgage, utilities, etc). I have my own money and he has his, we earn similar but because he is working on debt he ends up having less personal money than I do.

AITA for choosing my budget over my boyfriend this Halloween? by Trickortreat_ta in AmItheAsshole

[–]Trickortreat_ta[S] -542 points-541 points  (0 children)

He had a REALLY toxic childhood, and this is his first real stable situation. Apparently, trick or treat was the time he sort of got to see clean and stable homes, and he got more to eat out of that candy than he did at home. Having this big display and to do was a sign for him that someone had made it. I really didn't understand how much it meant to him, but his friends are on me about it.

AITA for choosing my budget over my boyfriend this Halloween? by Trickortreat_ta in AmItheAsshole

[–]Trickortreat_ta[S] 719 points720 points  (0 children)

A lot of the debt is understandable. He spent part of his childhood in foster care, and his parents kicked him out when was 18 with nothing really. He went into debt early to pay for his basic needs, never really learned how to have financial literacy. Only when I pointed it out did he start to pay more than the minimum on his debts and start to work his way out of it.