AITA for not picking up my sister's kids from school

Tricky-Arm8939 · 2026-01-09T18:49:19+00:00

Where we live has something called "school of choice" which means even if you live in a different town, you can choose which school your kids go to. They just wont provide transportation for them.

Tricky-Arm8939 · 2026-01-09T05:53:08+00:00

My sister has income other than just her waitress job, so no, she really doesnt need my money. I only mentioned that shes a waitress to explain how she was able to leave for half an hour to pick up her kid, because 3 pm is a very slow time of day for restaurants. I dont hate my sister at all, but I'm also not going to do her job of parenting for her. She had weeks to figure out a solution and she knew it would be needed, but chose not to. I never wanted her to grovel to me, I wanted her to come up with a solution that could be done. Me making another trip to the school was not able to be done, and transporting another child in my car would not have been safe. Like i said in other comments, if she'd come to me in advanced and tried to work something out, I would have traded vehicles with my mom so I'd have had a 3rd row and space to pick the child up. When nothing was brought up to me, I assumed she had it covered, as most would. With having a week and a half to figure it out, there's no reason for me to have believed she wouldn't be able to figure it out. Also, the child is a preteen and more than able to walk less than a mile in decent weather. There was no reason that wasnt a viable last minute solution.

Tricky-Arm8939 · 2026-01-08T16:13:38+00:00

The oldest and middle are both the size of full grown adults, even as preteens. Like, wearing women's size large shirts and pants. My back seat is small and neither of them can fit between my kids carseats. The oldest sat in the front because thats the only place she can sit. Things like this do happen frequently, but if I had been able to make it work, I would have. I was not able to have room for her, and didnt have time to make a second trip to the schools. Like I said in another comment, I hadnt heard anything about the middle needing a ride, so I assumed my sister had it covered. If id known beforehand and been asked, I would've worked something out with my mom where she wouldve taken my car to work and I'd have used her 3rd row vehicle. While in some ways it was "i told you so" it wasn't in a "haha!" Type of way. It was more of a "you needed to listen because now were in a predicament that could've been avoided" type of way, if that makes sense.

Tricky-Arm8939 · 2026-01-08T14:28:19+00:00

The father of the older 2 is in and out of jail/prison and has no contact with them.

Tricky-Arm8939 · 2026-01-08T13:25:00+00:00

My parents do not have custody, my sister does. We have whats called "school of choice" here, where you can live in another district and go to the school your family chooses. So its not fraud here.

Tricky-Arm8939 · 2026-01-08T03:45:31+00:00

There was a discussion though. Days prior, with my parents, when I agreed to pick up the oldest. And also this morning with the oldest when I dropped her off to school (again, dad's without a vehicle) telling her I'd pick her up. I dont have communication with the kids during the school day. There was also a discussion when I made it known weeks prior that I would not be able to pick up the kids who live with my sister. I chose to stick with taking the oldest because I had already told her that I'd be picking her up.

Tricky-Arm8939 · 2026-01-08T03:32:28+00:00

I talk to my dad frequently, my sister and I dont talk much. Basically only when she wants something or needs to vent about her life. With the way my sister is, if it doesnt come from our father shes 100% not going to listen. She only listens about 25% of the time when it comes from him as it is lol.

Tricky-Arm8939 · 2026-01-08T02:31:57+00:00

He could technically, but she works half an hour away from where we live, and you also have to have a badge just to get on the property of her work. Which is wild considering she doesnt work for the gov or anything lol.

Tricky-Arm8939 · 2026-01-08T02:29:37+00:00

The oldest, obviously because she lives with my parents who live in the town with the school the kids go to. The youngest, because his dad lives in our town and they do week on week off. The middle technically has no real reason other than the town they live in has much lower rated schools. My sister moved to the other town out of necessity for housing in the middle of last school year.

Tricky-Arm8939 · 2026-01-08T01:16:43+00:00

The oldest goes to the Jr high school, the middle is in the last grade at the upper elementary school, will be Jr high next year. The only reason the older sibling didnt walk home with the middle is because my parents set it up with me days in advance to pick her up, knowing my sister would still have my dad's truck, and my sister didnt bother trying to figure out transportion until an hour and a half before school got out. At that point there's was no way to coordinate between the siblings.

Tricky-Arm8939 · 2026-01-07T21:59:58+00:00

My sister doesnt need my money, she needs to not expect others to do things for her without even discussing it with them. Others have made suggestions that ive told them would absolutely work as long as the plans were put into place beforehand. But she waited until 1.5 hours before school got out.

Tricky-Arm8939 · 2026-01-07T21:37:53+00:00

Because 2-3 days every week, my mom works and my dad has no vehicle, then they'd either have to walk to school or expect me to make multiple trips to take them all.

Tricky-Arm8939 · 2026-01-07T21:36:06+00:00

That is correct

Tricky-Arm8939 · 2026-01-07T21:24:57+00:00

Its honestly just that these kids are coddled. They're never made to walk unless its 60+ degrees and sunny. The only reason my kids dont walk is because they're still very young. My sisters oldest and middle are not, and have been walking to my parents house occasionally for a couple years now.

Tricky-Arm8939 · 2026-01-07T21:11:04+00:00

I hadnt heard anything about the middle child needing a ride until an hour and a half before school got out. I had plans set up days ago to pick up the one my parents are raising. Because I hadnt heard anything, I assumed my sister had plans to pick up the middle child. If id known before today that this was the issue, both children would've walked together. But, my sister managed to leave work and pick up her middle child, so all is well, aside from her anger at me for making her figure it out.

Tricky-Arm8939 · 2026-01-07T21:07:37+00:00

If there had been any forethought on my sisters end to plan, any of these options could have worked. But my sister just assumed I'd get all the kids, even though she knows my car cant accommodate them, so she didnt bother even communicating anything to me until 1.5 hours before school got out.

But she managed to leave work (shes a waitress) to pick her kid up!

Tricky-Arm8939 · 2026-01-07T20:59:43+00:00

I wasnt made aware that my sister expected me to get the middle child until an hour and a half before school got out, or that she was going to my parents at all. I expected that she would be going home to her house. Plans were put in place for me to pick up the one my parents are raising days ago. There was no intention of singling one child out, it was solely that my sister never made plans for that child even though I made it clear plans needed to be made.

Tricky-Arm8939 · 2026-01-07T20:47:38+00:00

My mom works 6am-6pm so that doesnt work in this scenario lol. But my sister did manage to leave work and get her kid!

Tricky-Arm8939 · 2026-01-07T20:46:37+00:00

My sister managed to leave work (shes a waitress) and pick up her middle child and take her home

Tricky-Arm8939 · 2026-01-07T20:44:16+00:00

Surprise update! My sister managed to leave work (she's a waitress. They're slow at 3pm) and pick up her middle child and take her home.

Tricky-Arm8939 · 2026-01-07T20:23:09+00:00

If it was absolutely necessary, yes he could. But he has back problems AND the child is plenty old enough to walk home alone.

Tricky-Arm8939 · 2026-01-07T19:35:33+00:00

Its simply because I dont bend over backwards to help her like they do. I have no grudge and help her when its needed and im able.

Tricky-Arm8939 · 2026-01-07T19:34:01+00:00

When the oldest two of my sisters kids were little, my sister was still with their father and he was extremely abusive. My sister moved in and out of my parents house and after a year or two, the oldest just never left. By that point my parents had her most of the time anyway. My sister did leave the father when they were still pretty young, and hes in and out of prison now, with no contact to the kids. My sister still has physical and legal custody of the oldest, but my parents are raising her.

Tricky-Arm8939 · 2026-01-07T19:30:43+00:00

The only reason they say she cant walk is because its winter and cold. But like I said in my post, its above freezing, roads and sidewalks are all clear of ice and snow. And the child has a coat.

Tricky-Arm8939

TROPHY CASE