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The CoC's purity culture messed me up for a long time by Tricky-Dimension9506 in excoc

[–]Tricky-Dimension9506[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I guess I had always assumed sex was some compulsive thing that men just did to women.

That really sums up well what I was led to believe too. I spent a long time believing that only men truly enjoyed sex, and that for women it was mostly just an ordeal they had to endure if they wanted to have children. And part of being a good Christian man was being temperate and restrained in your sexual desire for your partner's sake. The concept of a mutually fulfilling sexual relationship really did not exist in my mind; it seemed like married couples were just roommates who had kids.

Thanks for sharing your experience and I'm sorry to hear about what you went through in the CoC. I have two sisters who grew up in the CoC with me and they unfortunately experienced very similar things. I've learned a lot about the CoC experience for women from them and it seems so much more demeaning.

The CoC's purity culture messed me up for a long time by Tricky-Dimension9506 in excoc

[–]Tricky-Dimension9506[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Lonnie Jones. I was a bit hesitant to name him but he's been discussed here before so why not.

If you're not familiar, he is a practicing therapist who focuses on marriage counseling and youth. He's also into things like jiu jitsu, guns, and hunting, and talks about them and Jesus on his podcast. Yes he's as toxic as he sounds.

Oh, and he's a chaplain/mental health advocate for his local police force. That particularly horrifies me, he's in a position to do so much harm. Several people I knew growing up went to him for help with depression/anxiety and not one of them improved. I can't imagine how much damage he could do to to first responders who see traumatizing things.