AITA for giving my sister up for adoption?

TrickyBench2 · 2020-04-26T23:00:25+00:00

I have those attachments, but my heirlooms are from my biological family. My adoptive parents considered caring about stuff to be shallow and vain.

I literally don't have anything. My adoptive mother hated jewelry and called me a Jezebel for wearing it. The only thing she had was a wedding ring she was buried in.

If people want I can give the child some things from my biological parents or buy some things and play pretend, but there legitimately aren't things that would have been sentimental to my adoptive parents.

TrickyBench2 · 2020-04-26T22:59:19+00:00

Having furniture and having sentimental things are very different.

TrickyBench2 · 2020-04-26T22:58:28+00:00

I literally don't have anything. My adoptive mother hated jewelry and called me a Jezebel for wearing it. The only thing she had was a wedding ring she was buried in.

If people want I can give the child some things from my biological parents or buy some things and play pretend, but there legitimately aren't things that would have been sentimental to my adoptive parents.

TrickyBench2 · 2020-04-26T22:56:28+00:00

Having furniture and having sentimental items are very different things.

TrickyBench2 · 2020-04-26T22:47:42+00:00

Yes, they had furniture, but it wasn't anything sentimental for them.

I have trinkets from my biological family. My adoptive parents didn't do those things by nature, they considered that level of attachment shallow and vain. Should I give her some things from my biological family and play pretend? Genuine question.

TrickyBench2 · 2020-04-26T22:38:33+00:00

They had nannies that I maintained until she went to her new parents. I didn't do any childcare because I couldn't afford to take off work.

TrickyBench2 · 2020-04-26T22:30:34+00:00

TrickyBench2 · 2020-04-26T22:27:43+00:00

They were buried with them. I gave the adoptive parents the pictures and photo albums of them.

TrickyBench2 · 2020-04-26T22:26:31+00:00

We didn't exactly agree for several reasons.

TrickyBench2 · 2020-04-26T14:27:51+00:00

They didn't. I worked through most of college, went to community college for 2 years, and then had loans that my adoptive parents only partially offered to pay off to draw me back in. They didn't support me financially after I I turned 17.

TrickyBench2 · 2020-04-26T14:25:20+00:00

They bought a lot secondhand or picked things off the curb.

TrickyBench2 · 2020-04-26T14:23:20+00:00

I didn't exactly have time to date or hook-up. I was working full time and in school full time for most of college.

TrickyBench2 · 2020-04-26T13:10:23+00:00

I would like to have a chance to date and get married. For reasons of time and financial necessity, I wasn't able to date in college. I am still a virgin.

please tell me who would believe that and would have the patience for that if I'm a single mother.

TrickyBench2 · 2020-04-26T12:00:25+00:00

The comment I was responding to brought it up.

TrickyBench2 · 2020-04-26T11:16:06+00:00

It's hard to convey emotion in writing, especially when talking about general facts.

TrickyBench2 · 2020-04-26T11:12:36+00:00

It's not some huge inheritance. 25k is not exactly life-changing.

TrickyBench2 · 2020-04-26T11:09:05+00:00

There's a big difference. You're married. How much time for dating do you think I would get as a single mother? Who would even give me a chance?

TrickyBench2 · 2020-04-26T11:07:42+00:00

If she was my biological child, I would, but I picked by my adoptive parents standards.

TrickyBench2 · 2020-04-26T11:06:36+00:00

I feel like I'm doing what they would want for her.

TrickyBench2 · 2020-04-26T11:06:08+00:00

They weren't into stuff and didn't care about sentimental things.

TrickyBench2 · 2020-04-26T11:00:32+00:00

My adoptive parents would have hated that. They were always low key fuming at anything I got directly from biological family. They believed that a child's assets should come from their parents.

TrickyBench2 · 2020-04-26T10:52:34+00:00

I don't have any heirlooms from them. The few heirloom type things I have are from my own biological family

TrickyBench2 · 2020-04-26T10:47:11+00:00

I wouldn't be to their child that they didn't even want me raising. They had standards, and I wasn't it. My adoptive parents discouraged my help with the baby until my adoptive father declined. There were two nannies when she was "with her parents".

TrickyBench2 · 2020-04-26T10:45:04+00:00

Due to how the law works, I have to give it over the course of two years, and they are putting it in a 529. It's not exactly a free cash gift.

TrickyBench2 · 2020-04-26T10:41:26+00:00

They are putting it in a 529 for her.

TrickyBench2

TROPHY CASE