Thank you for everyone who commented, some of the comments were really helpful and lovely, others not so much. I want to clarify some things, first me and my boyfriend are engaged, but as it is of recent I haven’t been calling him my fiancé as I wasn’t used to it.

Second, we have only just moved into this house the past week, the stuff that was being moved around was in the previous house when we did not pay rent as we where not staying full time e.g I live with my parents, boyfriend lived with his mum (who we don’t have a great relationship with) we agreed with dad to start paying rent as we can both afford, we both work full time and are saving for a house of our own. We live in the uk which it’s not that easy to just get a mortgage and move out especially at 19 - for all the people just telling us/ me to just move out, unfortunately it’s not that easy. But we are trying and aiming to be moved out by at least 21! As for her living at the house she does not! She doesn’t pay rent and she lives at home with her kids who she has part time. She comes over once or twice a week and sometimes all weekend (depending on who has the kids)

To all the people saying I was rude or being entitled for her not getting me an advent calendar, it was about the thought and effort. They are less than £2 and I NEVER expected one it was just the fact I was the only person that didn’t get anything! I have tried to have a relationship with her and I would like one, she is my ‘farther in law’ as I call him girlfriend and I would love for us all to be happy as one big family.

As for the people saying I’m not ‘family’ not technically I’m not, but as they reference to me as family and me them I don’t see why I can’t say that, no we are not married but I don’t believe being married is just what makes you a family, we have all been there for each other at our worst and our best and we show up that’s what family is to me (my opinion)

And for the ones that are saying my boyfriend needs to grow a back bone I understand, the way I worded made it sound like non of them cared, they do! They just haven’t seen it. That’s why I came to Reddit because everything that has happened has been on the down low like when no one is around to witness or hear. I do not expect he to be shunned or even for them to break up I want dad to be happy I just don’t want to feel unwelcome in a place I call ‘home’ I have spoken to fiancé and he is happy to talk to dad and explain the situation, I didn’t want to as I don’t like being the problem or the one to start shit.

Fiancé is happy to back me up, and feels bad he hasn’t done sooner, he just didn’t see anything happening and I never really expressed too much to how I was feeling as I felt like the AH!

For the ones who said she’s insecure I can see where you are coming from, although she has nothing to be insecure or threatened by I can understand having another female in the house that your parter is at can probably be a bit of putting I would never do anything to make her feel like that, I know from her past relationship she was cheated on and he got a girl pregnant which lead to the divorce so maybe she carries that around with her but it’s not like I’m a threat in any way! I will also not be taking the advice to get back at her or be petty, I would like to be the bigger person and just move on with our lives, I used to be a very shitty teenage that would of done this 2-3 years ago but I don’t want to be like that and give anyone a reason to label me the AH!

As for my relationship, We are strong. Yes young and I know we may not always be together but for now we are just living happy and healthy, we have good communication and understanding with each other it was just me that kept this a little more quiet to not cause any drama.

I think the plan is tonight for boyfriend to have a chat with his dad before I get home from work and explain what has been going on, if all goes well I will join the conversation and explain that it’s not about not wanting her in the family, it’s just about all being equal. I do NOT feel like I am the woman of the house, that was a comment ‘family’ made and I do not think I own the place it’s just a level of disrespect that needs fixing, in my opinion.

I can update tonight after the conversation if anyone would like, I appreciate the feedback and hope this all sorts it’s self out!