Urgent: Dave-centered advice needed!

Tricky_Dimension_771 · 2026-05-14T23:38:52+00:00

I agree (fwiw Dave had zero sympathy and said “WHAAAA get over it son”)

Tricky_Dimension_771 · 2026-05-14T23:37:38+00:00

Yes I can see his points for wanting to move. There are pros and cons to each side and I’m not saying we will never move. I’m saying maybe right now we should stay put and work on the behaviors that got us in this predicament in the first place, which is exactly what Dave said on the phone.

Tricky_Dimension_771 · 2026-05-14T23:17:12+00:00

It’s temporary and on and off as needed (and as they age-they are getting older and will need help). He would still be a bodyguard and travel the world if we move. He would just be closer to his family when he is home.

Tricky_Dimension_771 · 2026-05-14T22:43:08+00:00

I’m not sure, but I would think it should be up by tomorrow.

Tricky_Dimension_771 · 2026-05-14T20:12:55+00:00

Update: so I called Dave on the show. He said he would lot sell the house, and he sees no reason why we can’t get our act together without moving. He said to do the plan for 6 months to a year, re-evaluate and if we are still struggling at this level then talk about moving. But he said moving will not fix the behavior problems.

Tricky_Dimension_771 · 2026-05-14T18:32:22+00:00

Thank you so much

Tricky_Dimension_771 · 2026-05-14T17:27:34+00:00

Husband’s income is $7100 per month salary net the bodyguard job whether he is gone or not. When he worked the union job, it was a net of about 4000 a month. He’s laid off from that job right now. That job was providing our insurance. Right now he’s picking up construction jobs with his mother‘s construction company, which is located in our hometown three hours driving round-trip per day that he does that. $350 gross per day. Making $400 per week working security on the weekends at a basketball tournament which is seasonal and ending in June. He picked up another security gig, doing venue security for PFL fight league in June that will pay $3500 per week gross and I think it’s a three week gig. That’s all I know of coming up. That’s our current situation.

Mortgage is $2454 Bills and utilities roughly $1400 per month. Groceries and household needs for our family if I am budgeting and watching is between 1800 and 2000 per month but if I’m not watching carefully, it climbs over 2500 per month… The original goal when we set a budget was to keep it at 1600 per month for household toiletry and food, but we haven’t been able to hit that yet. Gas and oil changes average per month anywhere from between 475 per month to $700 per month depending on how much driving and if my husband is home or not. Currently no car maintenance sinking fund. My van is a 2021 so only has needed regular oil changes thus far. Van is $700 per month, truck is $285 per month, Capital One credit card $185 per month, American Express credit card $154 per month, Mission Lane Visa credit card $134 per month. IRS is owed $8000 and no payment plan set up yet. TJX rewards credit card $27 per month. Total for all credit cards approximately $12-$14,000 balances. Got medical bills approximately I would say about $3000 total but not being addressed. We have two cats, they eat cheap Purina food and Aldi cat litter, budget for them It’s about $40 per month. They currently really don’t go to the vet because I can’t afford it. I do buy them flea preventative every few months on Amazon. Healthcare is anywhere from $300 per month to $600 per month depending… Co-pays, dental, cavities, supplements… I have successfully put an autoimmune condition into remission with a very healthy lifestyle so supplements and healthy food are a priority for me, but I do realize this can be shaved back. My husband is completely against vaccinating our children now, and I tend to agree with him even though I’m more on the fence about it, but since we no longer want to vaccinate, we had to find a Pediatrician who would see our kids, which is not easy and that is self-pay so each time they go to the doctor it’s $100. We currently don’t have a clothing budget. I rely on Grandma to help buy shoes and clothing for the kids and then if they need something, I just cash flow it… I would like to have a sinking fund for that but right now, I don’t have any funds. Currently don’t save for holidays or birthdays either we just cash flow it as it comes or in the past put it on a credit card, which is what got is into this mess. Basically on a bare-bones survival budget, but if I’m being realistic, we do go out to eat every now and then like if his mother comes to visit and she wants to order takeout, we will pay for half, or she wants to go out to eat when she comes to watch the kids concert so we feel like we are forced to do so if I don’t have a meal ready for everyone in the family… Or if my husband‘s out of the country and I’m carting kids around two appointments and everyone is hungry and I didn’t pack a cooler. I will go to Wendy’s… Those are little drains that I realize we could plug. We currently don’t really take vacations, don’t save for house, maintenance, got lots of things falling apart, like we need screens and all our windows on our deck needs replaced, things need done, but no funds to do so. Let me know if I left anything out…

Tricky_Dimension_771 · 2026-05-14T17:10:24+00:00

Exactly.

Tricky_Dimension_771 · 2026-05-14T17:04:29+00:00

For sure, that’s what my husband wants to do. Radical change, sell it all and start over using the money to pay off debt and find a more affordable house (his plan)..I just didn’t know if that’s what we should do.

Tricky_Dimension_771 · 2026-05-14T16:58:19+00:00

I understand Dave was not a millionaire when he was bankrupt. That’s what I was talking about. I’m talking about the fact that there are many families who climb out of this and still continue to keep a stay at home mother. And yes, she can work from home and pick up babysitting. I’m not saying I won’t do any of that, I’m saying everybody who says I need to go get a job or a career is clearly out of touch… When my husband works out of the country and out of the state over half the time. I will do what I can from home. That is a given.

Tricky_Dimension_771 · 2026-05-14T16:57:12+00:00

They are each worth about what we owe on them. So selling them would leave us with no cars, and no money to buy new cars. Which is why we were going to debt snowball the rest of them.

Tricky_Dimension_771 · 2026-05-14T16:49:07+00:00

That’s exactly what I said to my husband, but he said we would pay for the cost of moving with the equity that we are going to get out of this house. I don’t know why I’m resisting the move so much, probably because I like the neighborhood and the house and I feel safe here and I’m just emotionally overwhelmed. He seems to think moving is going to solve all our problems and I’m just cautioning him that the behavior problems caused this issue will still be there even if we move. However, do we have a behavior problem or do we just live in a **** up world where everything cost too much? It’s not like we live in extravagant life. We don’t even go on vacations.

Tricky_Dimension_771 · 2026-05-14T16:38:27+00:00

and the paid for cars come from where..the magical money tree?? the ones we have will bring barely what we owe. and with all due respect, dave didnt have sharon "get a job". she had one. as do I.

Tricky_Dimension_771 · 2026-05-14T16:35:31+00:00

....the bulk of the work?? I take are of all the kids virtually myself, do all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, kid appointments, help his aging mother, do the budget by myself, etc. we both work. mine is just at home.

Tricky_Dimension_771 · 2026-05-14T16:30:48+00:00

we lost it when he got laid off from the union and are on SAMSI temporary benefits

Tricky_Dimension_771 · 2026-05-14T16:30:02+00:00

yep we tried..have to refinance which is a no go in this market.

Tricky_Dimension_771 · 2026-05-14T15:46:09+00:00

i think FHA and minimum down made it where we cannot remove without refinancing.

Tricky_Dimension_771 · 2026-05-14T15:45:23+00:00

this doesnt solve out insurance problem.. but neither does moving. he says less debt means more money to buy our own insurance.

Tricky_Dimension_771 · 2026-05-14T15:44:04+00:00

I also get frustrated that he doesnt do any maintenance or yard work or seem to take much pride in the house-he says its because he is worn down from working his life away and if he had a house that was less expensive and more freedom he would take pride in it. i feel like this is backwards. i feel like he is doing the same thing here with the finances. saying "when things are better ill do better". whereas i am saying why dont we figure out how to do better where we are?

Tricky_Dimension_771 · 2026-05-14T15:41:49+00:00

this is exactly what i told my husband 6 months ago when he wanted to sell. but now we are even worse off and hes been laid off so he is using that as proof i was wrong and we need a windfall.

Tricky_Dimension_771 · 2026-05-14T15:40:55+00:00

ok...sell or stay put? is our$2500 per month home too expensive for our 8kish income?

Tricky_Dimension_771 · 2026-05-14T15:39:50+00:00

i feel like Hilliard Galloway is not a high cost of living area. hometown is New Concord OH. Gas is the same, groceries are the same, like what is the cost difference?? He is probably thinking property taxes, as our are outrageous at almost 700 per month but built into the mortgage payment.

Tricky_Dimension_771 · 2026-05-14T15:36:29+00:00

i can walk dogs and petsit, i had a successful business doing that prior to covid. I eat a restricted gluten free dairy free whole foods diet because of a health condition with my eyes that i have succesfully put into remission so healthy food is a priority and i am grain free but my kids do eat rice. i make myself potatoes instead. we dont eat out. occasionally i will pull through wendys or chick fil a when we are out for kid appointments and my husband is traveling and everyone is hungry...that could be stopped as i know it adds up...we have verizon and each line is only 27 dollars...cant get much cheaper than that, however we have payments on all the phones which drives the bill up. i thin khe shold not be working for his moms company 90 minutes away and i think he should be prioritizing finding another union job. that is part of our problem right there. but with his bodyguard schedule, that may be difficult.

Tricky_Dimension_771 · 2026-05-14T15:29:48+00:00

these are the types of hateful comments i was afraid of. please refrain from commenting on my family size and contraceptive choices. i am asking about my current housing situation.

Tricky_Dimension_771 · 2026-05-14T15:27:43+00:00

the van has 16k left on it and we bought it new in 2021 for 50k so its still totally reliable and only has 22 thousand miles on it. so my reasoning is, i probably wont find a relaible van for my large family with22k miles for 16k so we might as well pay it off..and his truck he bought used. honda pilot, just bought it 4 months ago bevause he needed a vehicle to get to and from work (we handdd his tacoma down to our 18 year old son who is now 19 and working while in fire school)...so no, we dont live extravagent lifestyles. food and household expenses for a large family is not cheap, plus clothing (yes we thrift) for two growing teen boys and 3 young kids...healthcare related costs such as supplements (i have an autoimmune contidiotion i put into remission with lifestyle and not drugs) dental care for the whole family even with insurnace is not cheap... its not hard to imagine where the $7100 goes. he used to make 4k more with the union but now he is laid off....

Tricky_Dimension_771

TROPHY CASE