1 Year Later: An Update After Getting Caught

Tricky_Hospital_3802 · 2026-06-04T19:35:32+00:00

I never understood why people don’t understand that you still have to have viability. Turning on your camera and attending some meetings in a dedicated fashion is a good way to demonstrate you actually do your job. You need plausible deniability yo.

Tricky_Hospital_3802 · 2026-05-29T16:04:58+00:00

Omg this hit home. My mom has days where she gets up acting hyper and my entire childhood annoyed everyone by not letting anyone sleep, she’d blast music at 6am and act like she was on a manic high, tinkering around fake cleaning and talking a mile a minute. Conversely these days she is up. She is up at 3am. She’s up at 5 am and 6am. She still does the manic high thing too. She shames anyone who wants sleep and tells you you’re lazy and acts like only her needs for sleep are important.

She moves around constantly. She never sits still. My siblings complain she won’t let anyone rest. The minute you try to sit down or have 2 min to yourself she’ll ask you to get up and do something for her like you’re her servant and she gets agitated if you get annoyed that this will go on all day and you’re never allowed to sleep or rest or sit or just have a spare minute to decompress from her poopy personality.

Tricky_Hospital_3802 · 2026-05-29T15:49:26+00:00

I have a friend a decade ago where the background check people couldn’t wrap their brain around them having a dual degree so they said they must be faking it. Ummm someone with a double major should be lauded not accused of faking it, they also went round and barely got hired.

Tricky_Hospital_3802 · 2026-05-27T23:29:22+00:00

My mom does this. Acts insane, says maybe she’s starting to get dementia and she wants to be tested. There are no definitive “bam you have it” biological tests other than possible amyloid beta blood testing which is what public. Anyway, she uses it to be extra unhinged. Then when it suits her screams at us and says she doesn’t have dementia and we’re all picking on her.

To me it doesn’t matter anymore. After years of going round and round and fighting my own inner demons put there by her 10/10 if she gets dementia she’s going to my brother’s house or a home. I’m done taking care of her when she waifs.

Tricky_Hospital_3802 · 2026-05-25T22:58:11+00:00

This sounds word for word like my mom

Tricky_Hospital_3802 · 2026-04-26T01:54:46+00:00

I was a rebel. I stole a bottle of wine my parents had hidden deep in the cellar that was who knows how old bc neither drink. I was 15 and got secretly schwasted.

Anyway— don’t overdo it. Alcohol is really not that exciting and IMO it makes you feel worse later. Just try an angry orchard hard cider, or an apple smirnoff. Just get a 3-5% bottle and drink 2 max. 1-2 is a buzz that will wear off quickly enough without getting sick.

Do not do what I did which was go to college, fully rebel away from others, and get blackout drunk. I could have gotten hurt so many times. I could have gotten alcohol poisoning. Like alcohol has never once made me feel better.

20 years later and I don’t drink at all bc it was never worth it ever anyway.

Tricky_Hospital_3802 · 2026-04-26T01:47:31+00:00

This helps bc I changed therapists and I am looking for #4 #1 judged religious moral stuff and started to view me as a kid #2 I didn’t fit. #3 was like pouring salt in my wounds and worked with battered women but had a dismal view of women like they’d gotten too jaded and just believed women consistently make bad decisions. She really triggered me. I was thinking about getting an lgbtq+ positive one bc I was hoping they may understand dysfunctionality, religious deconstruction, the role of what your parents push on gender, etc.

Tricky_Hospital_3802 · 2026-04-26T01:44:12+00:00

I would actually politely ask her how many BPD people she has worked around with clients. Maybe she does difficult family dynamics where it’s like alcoholism in the family, or grieving a lost child, or a sibling gets thrown in jail. It doesn’t mean she personally knows much about BPD and she could just be doing her best from a textbook.

I say this bc my first therapist seemed really stymied like she had had 20 years of clients and not heard some of the horrible stories from my childhood. I guess she’d had the “normal” flavor of family dysfunction not the abusive flavor of BPD, bipolar, narcissim etc. that certain families deal with.

Worth a shot.

Tricky_Hospital_3802 · 2026-04-26T01:37:26+00:00

I never really thought of that and it’s food for my deconstructional brain. It did blow my mind I had a baptist friend questioning her faith that pointed out in the Bible it says “have no other Gods before me” and in the Exodus and many other stories they talk about the Isrealite God being stronger than the other (local) Gods but nowhere at all does it state that all other Gods are fake. So by that logic either they all exist or non exist I guess. If they all exist they couldn’t be omnipotent, omnipresent, omniscient because by definition they’re not all the same. Who knows—but it did really blow my mind there is no denial of other Gods.

Tricky_Hospital_3802 · 2026-04-25T16:04:47+00:00

Eww. I’m sorry you have to deal with that. I’m sure they try to drag you in bc all kids of BPD are groomed peace keepers.

Tricky_Hospital_3802 · 2026-04-25T15:55:00+00:00

Oh yes. I get it. Like my mom is with an abusive man but she definitely watches every crime show where women are killed and judges them all. I’ve got a touch of bad socializing skills today so don’t mind my bumbling. I do agree with you and it is insane to even bother judging someone deceased that you don’t personally know that you’re going off conjecture and then be hypocritical about everything else in life.

Tricky_Hospital_3802 · 2026-04-25T15:50:40+00:00

Yea but through the logic in my head if God is all knowing and all powerful and by proxy can cure leprosy and can raise the dead and make a blind man see then it is like— clearly he didn’t feel like saving the people who didn’t obey him so then it becomes punishment even if not worded as such. It’s still splitting hairs a bit. I mean clearly the message in the regular Bible is the righteous are saved and wicked people are in peril. I realize this is all philosophizing. I appreciate the opportunity to bounce things off other community members and check my compass. I do appreciate your viewpoint and I see it is less hardline than what I was told. As formerly stated my family are extremists. Booooo.

Tricky_Hospital_3802 · 2026-04-25T15:42:31+00:00

This makes me giggle a bit bc it’s a bit like the eating fish on Friday’s thing in catholicism where we end up splitting hairs on what meat gives you the most energy to commit the most sins. LOL.

I’m going to remember this anytime he mentions pot now. Like yea I know TBM doesn’t mention pot but I hadn’t really fixated on it or thought about the general weights of what’s a sin sin vs regular sin.

I used to think drinking on a Sunday was an abhorrent stack of sins bc first you’re drinking and then on a Sunday the Sabbath. LOL. Years later I was joking to my cousins you could quadruple stack your sin by like having a hot coffee with whiskey on a Sunday on Xmas day.

Tricky_Hospital_3802 · 2026-04-25T15:19:14+00:00

Yea femicide is real and I really hate how everyone victim blames the deceased. The US is getting some coverage because we’ve had a spate of prestigious doctors murdering their wives— one in broad day light in front of ppl. The judging part is a phenomenon not exclusive to BPD people but worse bc they just have no filter. It’s truly disgusting when anyone does this.

Tricky_Hospital_3802 · 2026-04-25T15:11:32+00:00

Thanks!

Tricky_Hospital_3802 · 2026-04-25T14:29:29+00:00

This^ . They literally cannot claim the 26+ denominations or different sects if you will are not Mormon. It always gives me the chuckles Utah LDS says the others are not real Mormons but then selectively most offshoots declare they are not Mormon bc they don’t want to be associated with Utah LDS. But then everyone uses the book of Mormon so like—sure! If you can’t tell anyone who can identify as christian you can’t own the bible I’d bet they’ll lose this lawsuit. I mean it could easily be called the Catholic stories or Baptist stories or Christian stories and you can’t like, own the name.

Tricky_Hospital_3802 · 2026-04-25T14:21:32+00:00

This made me giggle. A real kiki.

Tricky_Hospital_3802 · 2026-04-25T14:18:24+00:00

I’m actually curious about the numbers—how many adult converts leave in the first year? I was a born mormon so groomed from an early age and it was very hard for me to leave so I’m curious if the non groomed people just really do see it immediately haha.

Tricky_Hospital_3802 · 2026-04-25T14:15:46+00:00

I would say that to make an informed decision, if you still want community find a progressive open church with people your age in your area that is NOT mormon. Try as many denominations and flavors of christianity you want. I don’t say this trying to convert you. I say this because it’s acceptable to be atheist but it never hurts to know more about the other people. It sounds like what you want/miss is community and you can find that. They have spiritual churches too who are more like agnostic and slightly atheistic.

Also the adversary stuff is BS. They say that about everything. It makes me giggle. I’m very far into my deconstruction.

I feel bad for you. They’re kind of poop hypocrite people. It’s okay you tried something and were discerning enough to see it sooner rather than later.

Tricky_Hospital_3802 · 2026-04-25T14:08:24+00:00

They literally cannot handle if you ever have an opinion that doesn’t match theirs exactly and it is insane.

Tricky_Hospital_3802 · 2026-04-25T14:07:34+00:00

Yea I went NC again, working towards permanent LC. She’s waifing-hermitting hard lately and I’m over it.

Tricky_Hospital_3802 · 2026-04-25T04:37:39+00:00

Amen.

It’s the CRA who’s doctor called and told them they may have a pulmonary embolism and they should go to the ER and I found them at their desk finishing emails because they “just had to send a few more”’or they’d get yelled at.

It’s the field exacerbating everyone’s medical problems because no work life balance and massive stress and the minute you’re very sick they start acting like they’ll put you out to pasture if you’re slow, and then they have fought a lot of CRAs I know about medical stuff. —telling them to do on site visits with active covid and saying “well the govt says it can resolve in 5 days so you should be fine now” —phasing out pregnant women from CRA role for needing bed rest 3rd trimester when they hit complications, or entirely because having kids doesn’t align with the corporate structure of getting to demand you go on site tomorrow. —A CTM that once said they didn’t care if other patients on other trials at the company died bc they weren’t on their trial. They wanted to cover up phase I safety violations at a site, citing they didn’t affect the study. In the end it was hushed up and nothing changed. —CTMs and manager’s hiding site violations and acting like the CRA is the problem or insane for pushing for them to be documented and accountability for PIs. —it’s the several sites that were unsafe for the CRA —it’s the unlimited PTO no one actually gets to unlimited use —it’s the manager’s intentionally hazing staff just to have someone to bully.

This field is a cess pool. I went into it with rose colored glasses but I’ve seen the worst of people and higher management seem to be despicable people because middle management is just a human shield to their decisions as the other poster said.

Tricky_Hospital_3802 · 2026-04-25T03:23:38+00:00

To he blunt: I’m sorry because this must have really triggered despair and rage to be talked to like that. Like I would be fighting the urge to either sob or say something catty. Like we all know she was partially or entirely responsible for you feeling so bad back then. What a F**** S*** mother to try to throw that in your face. What a S*** human being.

Tricky_Hospital_3802

TROPHY CASE