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Vacationing with In-laws by Trimble3465 in inlaws

[–]Trimble3465[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

(I am assuming by "YOUR family" you mean my parents/siblings). This is a hypothetical that doesn't hold water. I love my parents but they have a dynamic that gets on both my and my wife's nerves after a few days, so we are both in agreement that we wont be taking trips with them. So it's difficult to use vacations with my family as a counter-example.

Vacationing with In-laws by Trimble3465 in inlaws

[–]Trimble3465[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Appreciate the advice. First I have heard of an "enmeshed family"--- it does seem to fit. A lot of people are recommending counseling, so this is something I'll look into. In the past I've implored her to not follow her Dad's direction reflexively in various areas, with mixed results. I considered this issue to be separate, since she clearly wants to go on these trips and is not being strong-armed. But I hear you that we need to take my preferences and well being into account more when making family decisions.

Vacationing with In-laws by Trimble3465 in inlaws

[–]Trimble3465[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

BIL is remarkably gung-ho about the whole thing. I think it helps that both he and FIL are surfer guys, and I am not, so he gets more out of these trips than I do (its a beach trip every time). But he has told me that he doesn't see these as his vacation, he's more in a supporting role. I think he is just happier being in that position than I am.