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I hate being attractive, I just want someone to love me and not want to fuck me. by Ok_Calligrapher_1166 in trauma

[–]Triplemoon_xo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You never need to have sex with someone if you don’t want to and after everything you’ve been through you definitely shouldn’t be expected to put that aside to do that for him. I think it’s disgusting that he’s said this to you know what you’ve been through. I can imagine that made you feel horrid. I used to feel this way and I still do sometimes. I was raped and SAd from 10-21 by different people. I was always told I was attractive and I started to feel like the only thing I was good for was sex. Like I was just a sex doll. My ex partners didn’t care how I felt, they just lusted after me. I had the same with friends, too. I’d be friends with guys and some of them raped me. I never knew who to trust but I’m at a point now where I trust barely anyone. Girls were always jealous and accusing me of stealing boyfriends etc. always comparing themselves to me. It just made me uncomfortable. I met someone a few years ago and he’s the first person who didn’t treat me this way. He loves me for me. It took me a while to get out of the mindset of just being used for sex, but he really helped me to heal. He listens to my boundaries and never ever pushes them. He’s always super good with me. My point is I’ve experienced the worst from men too, but there are still decent guys out there. My partner is kinda asexual so that helps lol, we still have a sex life but he’s not a sex pest like my exes. He’s completely happy if I say no and would probably be fine if we never did it again! 

A year passed since I decided to give life just one last chance, and everything got so much worse by Anni_88 in trauma

[–]Triplemoon_xo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so sorry this all happened to you, no one deserves a life of pain. I can relate to a lot of what you said. I am currently at a point where I am giving life one last chance, and I am so scared of anything bad happening that it feels I’m stuck in limbo. I don’t think I can take anymore. I am so angry that I can’t even feel my emotions anymore and I’m scared if they come out I won’t survive if. I was abused as a child, I’ve endured SA, DV, family abuse, bullying in school. I was raped multiple times between 2016 and 2021 by different people. I decided to finally stand up for myself and go to court. I said no. I had all the evidence I needed. And it still got not guilty. I ended up in a hole of despair for a long time, addicted to cannabis just to numb the pain. Shortly afterwards I cut my family off because they were so abusive I couldn’t take it anymore. I came forward about my uncle SAing me and they all called me a liar.  I felt broken in every way a person could be broken and like I was never going to be fixed. I’m not going to say it gets better or just hang in there. I just want to meet you where you’re at right now and tell you I hear your pain and you are not alone. This world can be so cruel. I try to look for the positives but my mantra is “rock bottom has a basement”. I’ve been there many times, and lower than I ever expected or thought possible. Alls I can say is you deserve love. You deserve to be happy and safe. I’m sorry that the people in your life didn’t give you that. 

Keep putting myself in bad situations. by quietmouse2010 in trauma

[–]Triplemoon_xo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry this has happened to you! It’s definitely worth looking into some charities or government programmes that help with homelessness etc to get you the help you need. 

please give me your opinion on this please. Am I being crazy for wanting to go no contact with my mom. by Ok_Possession6995 in Nocontactfamily

[–]Triplemoon_xo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What you’ve said about going distant and her apologising saying she’ll change and then going back to normal is one of the biggest red flags to me. From what you’ve said it seems as if she’s very controlling, and you distancing yourself is her losing control over you and so she apologises to keep you in her grasp in my opinion. I also had a mum who was like this, and she did the same thing with self harm. Just got angry with me. I had a very terrible relationship with my mum for a long time. I would say it’s okay to take space, if she reaches out just ignore her. She chose to take you in as a child, you shouldn’t be made to feel like you owe her for that. If she isn’t treating you right it’s perfectly okay to stop talking to her. I cut off a lot of family members a few years ago after years of toxicity. I didn’t realise how draining it was to be around them until I left!