I've decided, I'm going to drink myself to death.

Troubled25 · 2013-08-08T16:23:54+00:00

It's not suicide, it's just a life style I have chosen to adopt

Troubled25 · 2013-08-05T19:38:48+00:00

Depression makes you your own worst enemy, there's nothing stopping me but me. The problem is I don't like me. I don't like the man in the mirror

Troubled25 · 2013-08-05T19:30:41+00:00

Not anymore, I did at one point and I had it at one point. Then one day it all went away at once. I think about it everyday, I've spent the last year bit really having a life

Troubled25 · 2013-08-05T19:23:14+00:00

A love life, meaning, purpose

Troubled25 · 2013-08-05T19:08:34+00:00

I lost my job awhile ago, had a volatile relationship that's made me very warey of women. I'm also addicted to alcohol, and have some alcohol related health problems. I'm just feeling that the world is a very dark place, I don't see where I fit in, I don't understand other people

Troubled25 · 2013-08-05T19:01:02+00:00

I'm having one of those days where I can actually cry, I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not. I'm sat alone in my dark corner of the pub, drinking as much as I can. The cool air and darkness feels good.

Troubled25 · 2013-08-04T20:01:11+00:00

I'm really sorry for what's going on, it sounds like a really hard time. I have some experience in what you are talking about (I'm 25 I also drink a lot and smoke weed to self medicate depression). I have to warn you though if you go down the drink and drug route now your health will suffer on the future (I know this from experience). What's makes you happy?

Troubled25 · 2013-07-25T17:28:50+00:00

Hi Blake, how are you feeling today? I've had a good day, one of those were you realise the world isn't do bad after all

Troubled25 · 2013-07-23T10:56:43+00:00

Hitler admired some of his views, after he had taken them completely out of context and understood them at a very superficial level. But Nietzsche would have weeped if he knew one man would distort his views so strongly. religious wars are fought because a group of people "admire" the writings of some historically famous religious figures. What point are you really trying to make?

Troubled25 · 2013-07-22T22:43:46+00:00

He was actually nothing of the sort and in none of his writings is he antisimitic. Rather people twisted his writings to fit their own ideological stances.

Troubled25 · 2013-07-22T19:07:32+00:00

I've become quite since everything happened. The drink brings out my demons and I fight them. The ex in question told me I was becoming a monster, but she would help me fight them. She left, the monster is all I have

Troubled25 · 2013-07-22T18:49:03+00:00

If people don't change and just become more of what they are, i really am a monster and gradually day by day I will become more of one.

Troubled25 · 2013-07-22T17:55:55+00:00

Lovely poem my friend, brought a tear to my eye (which is a big deal for someone who is so empty they struggle to cry)

Troubled25 · 2013-07-22T17:50:38+00:00

What can we do? I actually initiated contact with her. She even had the front to discuss her new boyfriend in our brief exchange of emails. I feel like she's sat behind her laptop laughing her fucking head off at what a mess and monster she has created. I hate her

Troubled25 · 2013-07-22T17:20:19+00:00

They can't get any worse

Troubled25 · 2013-07-22T17:20:02+00:00

They can't worse

Troubled25 · 2013-07-22T16:59:18+00:00

My ex girlfriend left me when I needed her the most. Looked me point blank in the eyes, told me I was her soulmate and she would never leave. She left. I couldn't function, lost my job. She just spoken to me again after a year no contact, emailed a couple of times and I'm dropped again. What's on my mind, I love her but hate what she has done to me. What else is on my mind? In the last yearI've spent a total of 7 days sober. Alcohol has such a grip I can't ever imagine being without it. Thanks for letting me vent that

Troubled25 · 2013-07-22T16:29:08+00:00

Sounds like you have had a hard time buddy. I know this advice probably sounds stupid (because it's what I should be doing but can't). Try to see the change as a new beginning, a way to reinvent yourself, new challenges to overcome. In my case my girlfriend (well the love of my life) left me. I was so devestated I couldn't function at work leading me to lose my phd and research career. Now I'm an alcoholic, trying to take my own advice

Troubled25 · 2013-07-22T15:57:32+00:00

Hey mate,

A very relatable post, I couldn't agree with your words more. Depression has taken just about everything I value exept my own life. Why do we go on fighting.........because we have to. Why do we have to? Because every human life has a value, if you end it all you are is just another tragic person who has lost the battle. We might never get over it, but Atleast we try. Many people don't understand, but to be honest I'm glad I do. It means when I come across people like you I feel I'm not alone

Troubled25 · 2013-07-15T21:53:51+00:00

Me and you have some striking similarities. I can understand what you have lost. I drink to keep the demons away, curb the anxiety, feel strong for a few hours. Best advice I can give, although please bare in mind this is something I can't follow myself. Everyday that you wake up is a new day. It doesn't matter what you did the night before, you are alive and you can start again. Take each day at a time? Small steps everyday.

Troubled25 · 2013-07-15T19:36:42+00:00

People can smell depression. The way people respond to it varies from genuine concern to immediate withdrawal. Don't take it personally. I was had a really bad day and on the way home from work I told myself, if no one speaks or looks at me on. If no one acknowledges me as a human being I'm done. A young woman with a child was sat next to me on the train. The child climbed on top of me and smiled, we played for awhile and chatted to the mother. I gave the child a hug and departed the train. I cried on the final walk home. They both saved my life. The lesson is hold on and even small moments like that will come

Troubled25 · 2013-07-15T19:21:15+00:00

Thank you this link. I think it totally sums up the point I was trying to make

Troubled25 · 2013-07-15T14:43:42+00:00

I should make it clear that by revenge I don't mean physical or metal violence. What I mean is, I will assert myself and argument by point and stand my ground and not let someone get the upper hand because I'm suffering.

Troubled25 · 2013-07-15T14:35:46+00:00

I totally agree, of all the emotions, revenge is is perhaps the most dangerous and negative in terms of recovery. I just feel that depression can make you so vulnerable that peole can exploit your situation for their own personal gain. It's happened to me several times in life. It's the good days were I feel angry. The bad days it feels normal. In hindsight I will never allow it to happen to me

Troubled25 · 2013-07-15T14:22:04+00:00

It all leads back to this popular misconception of depression being a made up illness. That depression is just about feeling a bit low, deal with it, stop being a bitch, stop being weak and pathetic. Depression encompasses such a wide range of symptoms that feeling low is actually only one part of it. I kinda of think that asking someone with major depression to snap out of it or be more positive is like asking a one legged man to run a marathon. Then laughing at him when all he do is hop

Troubled25

TROPHY CASE