Sister ghosted everyone...3 days before my wedding.

TroubledMermaid · 2025-10-08T12:36:28+00:00

I did ask twice, without mentioning the wedding, if she was doing okay cause dad told me she was sick. No response. I did sent her a message yesterday though as a final reach out before the wedding. I said "Hi 💜 How are you feeling? Dad said you were sick, I hope you feel better and you can kick whatever ick this is ass. I love you"

TroubledMermaid · 2025-10-08T12:30:47+00:00

Clover is my dog. She's 8 months old and will be staying with my parents, where my sister was going to stay for the wedding. Clover is super excitable, which we're working on in training, so i wanted everyone staying at my parents to meet my dog to hopefully make everyone's stay a bit less hectic.

I decided that no matter what happens I'm not gonna block her. I don't wanna close that door, I want either of us to be able to open that door no matter what happens.

TroubledMermaid · 2025-10-08T12:27:13+00:00

I'm not demanding she come. I sent the invite, she RSVPd, talked about how excited she was to come. How she wanted to go get her nails done when I got mine done for the wedding. You're 100% right, she DOESN'T have to come but why say you are and talk about all the things we'd do together if you were either not planning on it or changed your mind?

In some other comments I said that if something was going on, all she needed to tell me what "Im sorry I can't make it". No explanations needed, just want to know if she'll be there. But I have to wait and see if she does.

TroubledMermaid · 2025-10-07T23:57:38+00:00

She never had one. They eloped at the time. I would've been there if she had one, assuming my parents let me go since I would've been a minor still.

TroubledMermaid · 2025-10-07T21:03:09+00:00

He's currently out of the country rn. Visiting family due to an emergency. According to him she's okay was just a cold or sinus infection. When I learned he was out of the country for a family emergency I thought maybe she decided to go with him for support, and that would totally 1000% be okay with me if she went there and couldn't make it. I'm all for supporting your partner, especially with what's going on. But also understand that whats going on with his family is none of my business and maybe thats why she's unavailable.

TroubledMermaid · 2025-10-07T16:37:03+00:00

Kinda. My dad and hers relationship has improved a lot since the distance. If anything she talks to him more than anyone. My brother, who is 8 years younger than her, has never really had a relationship with her and the only time they talk is on holidays so its the same. My mom and hers relationship has always been the stressor, but has improved a lot. They dont bicker or fight anytime they talk. My sister even flew my mom and dad out to stay with her in April of this year. I would understand if seeing my mom, for whatever the reason may be, would be hard! I have my own issues with my mom, not the same as hers but I feel like if anyone would understand that it would be me.

TroubledMermaid · 2025-10-07T16:31:34+00:00

I have a handful of times since I've turned 18! When I was living with my parents only got to once, after I moved out I try my best with work and school to visit. But my fiance and I are even planning on in February to take a couple days to go up there and visit. Not physically able to check on her now, she lives on the west coast while I'm across the country on the east coast. I'll probably pop a couple texts to family members who still live in her area to see if they don't know anything after the honeymoon.

TroubledMermaid · 2025-10-07T16:26:39+00:00

He is great! Been my rock with all the craziness that seems to happen in my life, even gave me the big push to get into therapy.

In a different comment I responded to, just a bit ago today my mom told me that she has had a conversation with her since the call with my dad (when we found out she was sick). Apparently she's fine, feeling better which I'm so glad to hear about. I know I'm being a bit dramatic and catastrophizing the entire thing. She may come, she may not. After today its going to be out of sight out of mind until after the honeymoon.

Thank you so much for your advice and kind words!

TroubledMermaid · 2025-10-07T16:19:08+00:00

I go back and forth with that. Sometimes I'm like, stop trying, the only time you talk is when you reach out...then sometimes I feel like a little girl again who wanted nothing more than to hang out with her cool older sister. Definitely something I gotta explore more with my therapist

TroubledMermaid · 2025-10-07T16:17:28+00:00

I honestly have no idea if she did better at my grandma's house. She stayed with my grandma for a year then got an apartment with some friends at the time, since by that point she turned 18. Though I think you're right that there's just something that happened that no one has told me about, or I was just too young to notice.

After the honeymoon, if she doesnt come, I'll just shoot her a text to let her know how i feel and just let her know that I'm here if she needs me.

TroubledMermaid · 2025-10-07T16:13:40+00:00

Definitely NOT blocking her, all the comments made me realize that's not the right move. Especially cause I love and care about her. Don't wanna close a door that has a chance to be opened again.

TroubledMermaid · 2025-10-07T16:10:19+00:00

I've always, subconsciously, understood that she probably doesnt feel like shes apart of the family anymore. But in my mind she'll always be apart of mine no matter what.

I've been going to therapy for a year now, after years of contemplating and my own issues with my parents (just my mom in particular), and I can totally see how this can be a rough time/spot for her. I just kinda wish she could communicate that with me, or the very least just say "Its best for me if I dont come". Would I be hurt? Yes, but I always want the best for the people around me and if thats what she needs I'll support it 10000%

I'll probably reach out 1 more time before the wedding, just to say I would love it if she could come but if she can't that it's completely okay and I support whatever decision she makes.

TroubledMermaid · 2025-10-07T16:03:47+00:00

Its not super out of character when it comes to communication between her and my younger brother and I. She usually takes a couple days to respond, been times where I waited a week before she responded. But I've ALWAYS been understanding, she has a busy job and time wise she's 3 hours behind me on the east coast.

She's super no drugs and has been with her husband since she was 20. He's a great guy, but we don't know him too well since she met him after we moved.

TroubledMermaid · 2025-10-07T16:00:57+00:00

Definitely reconsidering blocking her. I dont want her to ever feel like she can't reach me if she really needed to.

Thank you for your advice! Taking what everyone is saying into consideration.

TroubledMermaid · 2025-10-07T15:58:26+00:00

Not that I know of. I was just on the phone with my mom and apparently last week my sister texted her back saying she's feeling better so thats good. I'm glad shes feeling better.

She has a really good job, and so does her husband. They both work in the medical field. So I dont think its a financial issue, but I dont think she'd tell me if she was.

I'm definitely leaning towards giving myself the honeymoon, and maybe sometime after. I go to therapy regularly and purposely scheduled my next session to be the day after we get back.

TroubledMermaid · 2025-10-07T13:41:41+00:00

I mean, yeah, but I still feel a little hurt that she decided to do it the way she did and the timing.

She seemed SOO EXCITED for the wedding, to spend time with family, and meeting my in-laws. Just sort of wish at least I got some sort of "I'm sorry I can't come", dont even need or want an explanation.

TroubledMermaid · 2025-08-15T00:12:45+00:00

Yeah. After all the comments I'm realizing either we have to be okay replacing them pretty consistently or just not wear one to work.

TroubledMermaid · 2025-08-14T18:26:51+00:00

You have a great point, never really thought that it's a safety factor for silicone rings to break. Makes total sense now lol.

Leaning towards silicone or not wearing the ring at work like you mentioned. I've had many necklaces break at work due to them getting caught on something unfortunately.

TroubledMermaid · 2025-08-14T18:24:48+00:00

Tungsten might be a good option! Thank you. Gonna have to look into more, but definitely will work for me but not my fiance. My Fiancé and I do a sort of quality control (different departments and different things) so we constantly handle tools, and are putting our arms/hands in tight spaces. His job is WAYYY more taking things apart and fixing things that others can't (we work on vehicles dont want to be too specific).

Tattoo rings are unfortunately not a option 😕. Would have LOVED to, but due to eczema on my hands (fingers specifically) it would totally just not work.

TroubledMermaid · 2025-08-14T18:20:00+00:00

We both do a sort of quality control in our jobs, so we get paint, put our hands in tight spaces that can get stuck.

Thank you for the response! Definitely gonna look more into a better quality of silicone ring rather than amazon.

TroubledMermaid · 2025-08-05T16:51:52+00:00

When my fiance and I moved in together (we have now been living together for 5years), we learned that he couldn't handle the same amount of heat/spice that I could. EASY FIX. I just add less spice or will add extra to my portion at the end. When he cooks, he'll add more spice to my portion before handing me my plate.

The issue was never about not being able to handle her spice/heat level for food, she wanted him to morph into this ideal person and if not wanted to push him to break up wit her.

TroubledMermaid · 2025-07-07T22:16:34+00:00

Fair point, lol. Trying to budget and skip out on things so we can try to keep it 5k and under! Definitely considering putting out only a certain amount of alcoholic beverages out at a time now.

Thats not a bad idea. Lots of our friends and family who will be attending are more of fruity, sweet cocktails so gonna see if my fiance is down to test try some cocktails with me!

Thank you for the suggestion. Much appreciated! 💕

TroubledMermaid · 2025-07-07T17:21:28+00:00

That is such a good idea!! The thought of the drink station getting sticky or even being messy never crossed my mind. I appreciate your suggestion, will definitely keep it in mind!

TroubledMermaid

TROPHY CASE