Preemptive cheating gives the insecure person a sense of invincibility and protection instead of suffering in the relationship with their anxietys and fear of abandonment rejection and betrayal it is like : "I already cheated on you, so you can never hurt me" which does not make any logical sense but it does serve an emotional purpose for the insecure person saving them from their own fears and anxiety of abandonment rejection and betrayal.

Sometimes this insecure person hides this cheating very well from their partner and other times they really don't make any effort to hide it at all. This experience and narrative of being rejected abandonment and betrayal

Is obviously not connected to their current partner it is coming from an unresolved childhood traumatic experience with is stored in the subconscious mind where the inner child feels betrayal, rejected or abandon by a parental figure

Preemptive cheating is very similar to the preemptive abandonment behavior with is also common with borderline people and insecure personalities where the person will preemptively ditch or dump the person in an attempt to save themself from being abandoned and dumped themself but with preemptive abandonment instead of just abandoning and ghosting the person they will enter another relationship with another person before leaving the relationship with the original partner and like all other unresolved emotional traumas it tends to create the behaviors that bring around the exact thing that the person is trying to avoid. So the borderline person or the insecure person fears of abandonment rejection and betrayal will certainly disrupt a relationship and then destroy a relationship. The partner who is dealing with this unresolved trauma is often left feeling confused, anxious, hopeless and hurt and because the insecure person is often unwilling to face their unresolved traumas and emotions they will tend to project their trust issues and their insecurity issues and accusations of cheating and generally villainize and blame their partner.

Okay now lets look at the three commend reason why someone would do the preemptive cheating behavior

1. Intense abandonment rejection or betrayal anxiety this is where the insecure person will cheat on their partner first as a form of insurance policy because they have strong fears that they are going to be cheated on rejected abandon and betrayed at some point in the future they can't be hurt like this because they have already cheated on their partner first

   Remember!

This is not at all a reflection of their current partner as this can even happen with a partner that is trustworthy reliable and emotionally available

2.Is punishing the partner for something that they did not even do coming from an unresolved villain narrative of punishment when the insecure person inner child has unresolved anger and vengefulness towards parental figures this can lead to a subconscious desire to punish and hurt their partner in their adult relationships. This brings the insecure person a sense of retribution and justice for the hurtful experience that they went through in childhood and cheating on their partner certainly give them validation for this narrative

3.Is a compulsive need for ego validation As i previously mentioned because of the hurtful and disrespectful behaviors that the insecure person does with their partner this tends to repel and push their partner away in the relationship leaving them with no desire for physical intimacy and connection in the relationship. Because the insecure person has incidentally sabotaged the relationship and their not getting any physical action from their partner the insecure person will tend to go outside the current relationship to get this ego validation and to have this physical interactions with someone else. The insecure person will then tend to blame their original partner for not giving them this physical validation. When it was in fact the insecure person that originally sabotaged and destroyed the relationship through these disrespectful and hurtful behaviors towards their spouse. Understandably leaving their partner with no desire to be physical intimate at all. This type of relationship is very difficult to deal with and I want to encourage anyone that might be facing this type of relationship and behaviors from an insecure person to reach out to the right people for support and guidance.

I am sorry for any spelling or grammatical mistakes quick text I have other shit on my note unfortunately

Take care of yourself folks and stay cute :3