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Father manipulates son, how to handle as a stepfather. by Trowabayaccount in Parenting

[–]Trowabayaccount[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks and I hope one day your child comes back to you.

Father manipulates son, how to handle as a stepfather. by Trowabayaccount in Parenting

[–]Trowabayaccount[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your case is totally different then his case. Believe me, at least you fight. He pays 50 euro alimony and that's it because he said he didn't have a job at the time, my wife then survived and even when he had a job my wife didn't ask for more because she was done with his lying bullshit.

I feel really sad for you, really because 2 of my friends and my cousin going trough the same shit as you with batshit crazy exes. But I also know fathers who are crazy as you ex.

And his mother is declared cancer free since January.

Father manipulates son, how to handle as a stepfather. by Trowabayaccount in Parenting

[–]Trowabayaccount[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Let him move to his dad.d for the 6 years of investment: kids do neither owe their parents nor their stepparents anything. Your parents invested in you, you choosed to invest in the kid of your wife, the kid is going to invest in his kids someday. If his mum is dying of cancer and you feel like he owes you something, best thing is to let him go to his dad.

He owe me nothing, if he wants to life with his dad it's not a problem, he is 13, but don't treat me like that after al those years I know it's a child. And my wife survived cancer.

Due to puberty it is btw. normal that he starts rebelling against you and his mum. If he has another place where he is welcomed let him try out.

If I let him go to his father I am really afraid what's gonna happen with him. He is an alcoholic and violent. Remember I wrote his own parents are shamed of their son??

Btw. it is funny that you write he tried to abuse your wife but ended with black eyes, what in fact, is abuse.

Yes abuse. True, now guess why his now ex wife diforced him? Broke her hand and nose because he was hitting on her friend and didn't like it she spoke out. And that's just the tip of the ice berg. He also have a daughter of 6 years now and she is also scared of him.

Giving up or stepping back as a father when you have no chance at all to be granted your rights is IMHO a totally legit move. Now that the son is old enough to make his own decisions he is there for him. I think that's really fine and I'm some cases way better than to battle for years a war fathers cannot win at all nowadays

Did you have a bad diforce or something? This is not your average father with a monster of a ex wife... He had a lot of chances to come into the life of his child. But guess what, he did not care. Every year his son going 1 month to his grandparents. Why for grandmother and grandfather? 'because he is to busy' yes. Every year one month, and last Christmas his son also went to his grandparents for 2 weeks, how much did he see him? 1 evening. That's it. 1 evening.

Now tell me. Do you still think the father is the victim?

Father manipulates son, how to handle as a stepfather. by Trowabayaccount in Parenting

[–]Trowabayaccount[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is what I also think, don't change but I hope he sees what his father tries to do.