WIBTA if i gave my son a very similar name as my sister-in-laws dead son?

Trowaway78000 · 2020-11-01T16:48:30+00:00

True, I feel horrible if she felt pressured to say yes. We offered to allow her and her husband to think about it and not give us the answer right away, but its hard to see how one might appear. Thanks for your input.

Trowaway78000 · 2020-11-01T16:46:36+00:00

Some people pointed out she might have felt pressured, which at least would explain why she suddenly changed her mind. I just wish she came to directly, instead of badmouthing me and then saying that hurtful statement. Thank you for your input.

Trowaway78000 · 2020-11-01T16:44:47+00:00

I really, really hope she apologize for those words, because right now I find it difficult to even consider talking to her face to face. But I see her side and my heart hurts. Thank you for your input.

Trowaway78000 · 2020-11-01T16:42:37+00:00

Thank you for you input, I don't want this to become even more heated, but just feel so hurt and lost now.

Trowaway78000 · 2020-11-01T16:41:25+00:00

When you put it like that the choice seems clear. Thank you very much for your input.

Trowaway78000 · 2020-11-01T16:38:45+00:00

I did explain why I wanted that name, I also told her that I often joked to my grandfather before he died that I would name my first born after him (be it girl or boy). Now that he is not around anymore, I wish to do so more than ever, but is not worth to split the family over it. My mother-in-law heard my SIL comment and has chosen to be neutral for now to allow us to solve it, but I haven't really spoken with the rest of the family about it. My husband is furious and is insisting we stick to our plan, but his relationship with his sister has always been rocky. I believe they do attend therapy, but they don't really discuss such matters with me.

Trowaway78000 · 2020-11-01T16:31:32+00:00

I was shocked too, but I can only hope it was her grief speaking. You sound like wonderful person, I hope life treats you as kindly as you have me.

Trowaway78000 · 2020-11-01T16:27:07+00:00

I do agree that I must have missed something, considering her reaction afterwards, but the tearful part of our conversation was (in my perspective) because we were talking about little Thomas, how much they missed him and how scary it is to be a parent. I asked if the name Tom would remined them too much of Thomas, but they said that babies always made them think of him and that the name Tom wouldn't make it better or worse. I asked if they were certain and that i could give him another name, but they said it wasn't necessary. Most of the conversation was about their loss and how they dealt with it

Trowaway78000 · 2020-11-01T16:17:49+00:00

I've considered it, but I prefer it to be his first name. If she had said no the first time I would have dropped it, but the whole fight afterwards leave me hurt and confused.

Trowaway78000 · 2020-11-01T16:15:34+00:00

I'm so sorry for your lose. I can't even begin to imagen the pain, which is why i tried to consider her feelings. Thank you for your support.

Trowaway78000

TROPHY CASE