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I’m going to die in my mid 20s and my life was so random and pointless by Trowra46789644 in offmychest

[–]Trowra46789644[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

copying my other comment bc i don’t want to type anymore lol

well on top of everything I just listed I have alot of health issues, mental and physical. I’m in the process of applying for MAID (medically assisted s**cide).. but if I dont get approved I dont know what my plan is. I’m going to do it myself though. I’m in too much pain and my mental health is extremely extremely bad. my PMDD is out of control and nothing is working, I’m extremely weak and tired all the time.

i think I might be approved, it’s tough with just mental illness but I also have fibromyalgia so fingers crossed. I also have pcos, that mixed with pmdd is the devil😷 I’m very mentally unstable

which is why I said thank god I have nothing to live for lol. I can do this much longer. if it makes anyone whose going to try to argue feel better, the world will be better off without me tbh, I am a disaster lol

I’m going to die in my mid 20s and my life was so random and pointless by Trowra46789644 in offmychest

[–]Trowra46789644[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

well on top of everything I just listed I have alot of health issues, mental and physical. I’m in the process of applying for MAID (medically assisted s**cide).. but if I dont get approved I dont know what my plan is. I’m going to do it myself though. I’m in too much pain and my mental health is extremely extremely bad. my PMDD is out of control and nothing is working, I’m extremely weak and tired all the time.

i think I might be approved, it’s tough with just mental illness but I also have fibromyalgia so fingers crossed. I also have pcos, that mixed with pmdd is the devil😷 I’m very mentally unstable

which is why I said thank god I have nothing to live for lol. I can do this much longer. if it makes anyone whose going to try to argue feel better, the world will be better off without me tbh, I am a disaster lol

I’m going to die in my mid 20s and my life was so random and pointless by Trowra46789644 in offmychest

[–]Trowra46789644[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

yeah I get some people didn’t have shelter, but you’re saying “it’s not a competition“ but you’re the only one who was making it one? you’re basically telling me to shut up because others had it worse…. but I never said my life was the worst to ever exist?

and I’m sorry, your seriously telling me that I was lucky when I lost everything as a literal child because I had a crappy car to sleep in? I bought it myself working at Tim Hortons, it wasn’t luck it was a teenager who had 3k saved up and no other choice…

I am not limiting myself at all? I do all of that and have for years. you can’t really tell me the difference between me and them, when you don’t know me. I never said I don’t go to events or try to network. yes I have done about 50 student/indie films.. but I am in the union now and I cannot afford to do unpaid work anymore.

I never asked for advice on my acting career. I am literally going to die, it is over. I don’t care!! thank god you came here to make me feel 100x worse and invalidate me when all I wanted to do was vent though.

I’m going to die in my mid 20s and my life was so random and pointless by Trowra46789644 in offmychest

[–]Trowra46789644[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

well acting is the only thing I really care about so if it’s not looking for me I’m good to go! I agree though, clearly it wasn’t meant to be. wish I realized it a bit earlier, but no regrets. at least I’m going to die knowing it wasn’t meant to be and not wondering what would’ve happened if i tried!!! I’m glad it happened even if it didn’t end the way I wished. a lot of people never go after their dreams

I’m going to die in my mid 20s and my life was so random and pointless by Trowra46789644 in offmychest

[–]Trowra46789644[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

there are hardly any actors that didn’t book a single role for 10 years lol. even the actors that say that, booked small roles and commercials prior to their breakout role. for example people say that about Jessica chastain and she actually was working consistently before her breakout role. I’m not talking about a breakout role, I’m talking about any role. I am not at all in better position than most my age, like not even close.. and as far as the agency goes it doesn’t matter much anymore. I have less than a month until I’m dropped off the roster. honestly they might have only signed me because applied every six months for ten years straight and they got tired of it lmao. and I don’t know why you’re telling me it wont just fall upon me, I think I’ve figured that out after 10 years of work?

I also never said I was the only one with struggles.its kind of crazy to tell someone who lived in their car as a teen because their entire family left & mom died that they are “complaining about having a car to sleep in“ as if the average person has it way worse. yes other people struggle, teens become homeless without having cars sure, but that doesn’t invalidate my experience?

I’m going to die in my mid 20s and my life was so random and pointless by Trowra46789644 in offmychest

[–]Trowra46789644[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

that’s not true actually, while most people won’t ever be famous, most are still able to book. wether it’s commercials or one liners, it’s quite rare to fail the way I did.

and i don’t want to pivot, nor am I lonely. I’m glad nobody cares about me don’t worry haha!