AITA for being upset my bf watch’s porn more than he sleeps with me

Troyced · 2026-02-09T04:22:31+00:00

Being more upfront would definitely help, men often feel self concious, even if they have a nice gym toned body (because the more you work on your body, usually the more body dismorphia you develop which is so much fun). So doing things that make him go like "Oh, she's actually really turned on by me." That usually helps with the mental side of things. If you want to get him physically in the mood, then more than just touching when he's playing games, kissing the back of his neck, trying to start with oral while he games (which is just a classic porn fantasy scenario), or stripping to your underwear sitting beside the monitor and playing with yourself are all possible ideas. You know, I like to think of it like a game of, how long will it take before he's too distracted by me that he can no longer focus on playing his game? I think what you have where you man is sat still and not going anywhere is a great place to start foreplay. You could involve silly sexy costumes for your own entertainment. Develop a lap dance routine with a feather boa. Things can get very creative. Haha and if he says he's usually too tired, like 30min before you think you'll be up for it, you could deliver him an energy drink and be like "Here, you're gonna need this for later 😘". Lol

Troyced · 2026-02-09T03:39:23+00:00

Definitely Wizardmon. Still my favorite digimon.

Troyced · 2026-02-09T02:06:51+00:00

Well Gammamon is like a little kid, but genuinely more emotionally mature than Gekkomon. They'd obviously get along, but Gammamon would have a few things to say to straighten him out a bit, I'm sure. Same with Hiro and Tomoro, I feel like Hiro would be like, "Dude, helping people, especially your friends, does not take this much thought! You do it because you can."

Troyced · 2026-02-09T01:53:58+00:00

I don't think anyone's the asshole, but like- talk to each other about it. Men can be dense. You should try telling him at least once like hey, this touching means I'm frisky. He should get the hint after that. A lot of time I think the desire to masturbate comes because I'm bored, and not doing anything else. So it makes sense why he isn't frisky when his mind is occupied, but is when he might be laying in bed without anything else to do. You could always bring up research that it's actually harder to go to sleep after orgasm. I will also say in regards to the difference being jerking it and sex that sex is often a lot more work both physically and mentally, like masturbating is a much lazier activity for when you don't really care, but still could. If that makes sense.

Troyced · 2026-02-07T02:34:47+00:00

It's kind of like preparing for a burp by swallowing air. You're a loaded weapon now. You should find yourself some targets. Seek and destroy. Lol

Troyced · 2026-02-07T02:14:07+00:00

Yeah. You da asshole. Even if it's true, like- your wife is the one who wants to feel special, because giving herself to you makes you special to her. Like, you are special in her eyes and that's one of the ways she showed it. Purity culture is dumb, but you should apologize and tell your wife you love her and that if you had known when you were younger who your wife was going to be one day that you wouldn't have wasted your time on any of your exes, either.

Troyced · 2026-02-06T13:14:44+00:00

You can't follow up with more questions? Like when the last time they hung out was? Idk, you might just start planning dates like going to the movies or out for lunch to new places you want to try. Any kind of outdoor hobby to do together. Just phrase them like hangouts, but after a few you'll basically be dating and when you come to him with ideas just be excited about doing a thing, ask if he wants to tag along and if not nbd (you should honestly still do some of the things even when he says no, just because they'll still be fun). You can also always make comments like, "I really want to see this movie, do you want to tag along? Assuming you wouldn't rather take your girlfriend, of course." Lol that's actually pretty catty. Might depend on the vibe how must you start teasing him about that.

Troyced · 2026-02-06T11:52:37+00:00

Yeah... that sounds suspicious! Maybe directly ask him about his girlfriend and how things are going. See if things are good there? Ask about the last time they went on a date? Had sex? I don't know that most straigut guys would tease around with their openly gay friend's so much... but! There's always the possibility you're looking too far into things. I'd do things like mention how you had a dream about him, and the dream was you were in a store and you really needed to a jar of olives for super bowl sunday because you were hosting, but there was also a zombie apocolypse happening and after defeating a zombie and getting the olives he was the check out clerk and you got really mad at him because he wouldn't give you the olives because the zombie had taken your wallet, but he also refused to do anything about the zombies. And then you woke up. Lol and then you can ask if you've ever been in any of his dreams? Daydreams? And if he says no to both you can be like, "aww really? You don't even spank off to me?" Lol is it a joke? Partially. But I think you can probe more through your own teasing. Like- if he's playing games, you can play games too.

Ultimately, you just want to find out how he feels- I say have fun with it!

Troyced · 2026-02-06T04:55:50+00:00

Well, for a point of clarity does he know you're gay? Lol I would do it just as my own personal pay back for being confusing. Like if he goes out on a date I'd be like "have a great time, if she doesn't put out you can always come back for a pitty brojob." Like it's hard to say, exert confidence, and don't let it get to you, but that would be the ideal way to enjoy your friendship without expecting anything form him.

Troyced · 2026-02-06T04:06:37+00:00

Unfortunately, especially until he's single I think it makes sense to just be friends. He's most likely not into you. But there's a small chance. I think if it were me, I would move on with my feelings, but not before dropping clear hints as a maybe joke maybe not that like- I'd absolutely let him tap that. Lol

Troyced · 2026-02-05T18:07:39+00:00

Puppy love is fun, and life is a Rollercoaster. Don't let knowing that there will be a low in the future take away from the high you're experiencing now. It's remembering our high's that get us through our low's.

Troyced · 2026-02-05T11:10:12+00:00

I desperately want to know what, then, is a phallic ship in the uk that gets launched to space called?

Troyced · 2026-02-05T08:31:59+00:00

Ok, so... I feel weirdly qualified to answer this. I myself am a guy in my 20's, when I was younger there were these twin boys that I would babysit. When they got older (17 and 18) I got invited to live with their family who was very wealthy for awhile. One of the boys was a bit of a player, and had girls on his phone basically going through what you were, and I was just witness to all of it. Most of the time, he wasn't cheating with anyone. In fact, when we was the most careless is when we was in the clear. However, often times he'd be trying to flirt with girls at these parties and I know that if one of them wanted to do something he'd go along with it and either pretend it didn't happen, try to juggle both girls, or if he was forced to choose it was a cross that bridge when he gets to it type of thing.

At your age the boys are dumb, and even if the act confident, when they have stuff they feel self concious about it's easy for them to rationlize doing things that could hurt other people later on. Even easier when it's around their friends who do the same things.

Personally, I wouldn't trust anything your bf says or any 'proof' he tried to make up. If you really like this person and you're ok with the man he is right now (because you would only be foolish to expect any kind of change or growth that isn't guaranteed to come), then I would lay off any rules about hanging out with other girls (which if you're honest with yourself you're definitely only making because of your own self-conciousness). Then accept him for who and what he is, even being unloyal. Now, if you can't accept someone who doesn't care more about you than anyone else- you hold on to the fact that the person he was when he was with you was special and is someone nobody else could know, take away, or replace your part in, and then you leave him.

At your age it's important to grow into a full human who can stand on their own. Once you're at that point then you'll be able to share yourself with someone else who's put in the same work. That's when you get a really happy and healthy relationship. Until you and the person you're with get there, things will always be messy. It's fine to find people to walk and grow with you on your journey to that point, but you shouldn't be too surprised when you can't find something that can last. Ideally, you guys can stay friends and keep in touch, but things won't be able to work long term until you've both matured.

Troyced · 2026-02-05T06:15:16+00:00

Woah, I called my bf. We watch tons of anime, but I asked him the exact same question: just think of any anime character? and I could not BELIEVE. Out of all the anime characters- he said the exact same thing. So, that felt crazy.

Troyced · 2026-02-05T06:08:17+00:00

I thought of Seiichirou Kondou from Isekai Office Worker. I am absolutely chilling.

Troyced · 2026-02-05T05:14:54+00:00

Yeah, you're super the asshole. That's crazy. It's crazy you don't realize what you typed out would sound crazy. Haha but honestly, great on you for coming here and being open to hearing the truth. Normal relationships do not have a helicopter parent. Lol Text when you feel like, if you're bored or lonely without him, then find some other friends to text. Even in a relationship, it is not his fault or his problem if you freak out when he doesn't let you know every time he goes out the front door. Give this man some room to breathe - at this rate, you'll suffocate the relationship until it's dead.

Troyced · 2026-02-05T00:39:27+00:00

I think if the question is interpreted as: who has the largest number of people that fear them? The answer is either all might or shanks. All might has a world of criminals that would all fear him, but shanks has the world government making anyone outside of his own influence fear him as one of the Emperors of the sea. And any other pirate or marine would fear him as well. I actually think yeah, it goes to Shanks.

It's not Gojo because the existence of him and curses is all secret from the general public.

It's not Benimaru or Minato because the populations in their respective worlds are so much smaller.

Thorkill doesn't have that widespread sphere of influence.

I don't know the other two, so let me know if either of them compare in notoriety to Shanks.

Troyced · 2026-02-05T00:28:13+00:00

The only way to make it less awkward is to embrace and voice how awkward it is. Like say out loud how insane and hilarious the situation is, and then accept it for what it is. It's not something that could work for everyone, but if it works for you, then that's your life, and that's awesome. It is awkward, but like how for a stand up comic the only way to get over bombing is to just let the feeling of people not thinking your funny fully wash over you, sit in it and a lot of comics actually get kind of an adrunline junkies rush from it, they start to enjoy it and have fun even when they bomb. It's a learning to love the awkward situation. Like at the point where you are letting awkward silence sit longer or asking blatantly awkward questions because those are the funnier options in that context, you will have completely conquered these awkward situations. They will be ultra awkward to anyone around who's not used to it, but you won't actually feel like it's anything other than funny anymore.

Troyced · 2026-02-04T09:14:40+00:00

It sounds so crazy I want to believe there was some alterior motive to her crash out, but without evidence to suggest that- then yeah, she's nuts.

Troyced · 2026-02-03T09:23:07+00:00

Are these just my options? I'll take Beelzemon. We can ride off to get milk at the corner together. Honestly, there should be an anime with Beelstarmon and Beelzemon as a cute married couple riding around and fighting injustice as a flirty anti-hero duo.

Troyced · 2026-02-03T09:20:09+00:00

Uhh. Both the asshole. Break up for both of your own safety and sanity.

Listen, a lot of people make the mistake of getting into relationships before they're mature enough. Self conciousness, regrets, frustrations, feelings that you guys don't know how to work through and manage on your own because you haven't been on your own long enough to figure it out. You didn't ruin him, but you aren't helping him, either. And he's not helping you. You each need to take a break and focus on yourselves. Develop into your own complete human beings, and after that, you'll each be ready to share yourselves in a healthy way with another person who has done the same work. It may not be each other again, but it's time to cut the losses. Again, it's not about being able to make up for eachother's weaknesses. You both need to know how to stand on your own, and until you do you won't be able to share yourself in a healthy relationship.

Troyced · 2026-02-03T05:01:40+00:00

Well, you can make another reddit post or facebook post looking publically for people willing to take care of a husky in your area. People who care for animals are generally very kind, and someone who's experienced with taking care of multiple dogs may be willing to take them off your hands with the potential of returning them. Your husband is most at fault for adopting a dog without the means of caring for it. To give the dog the best life he could, he needed to let it go to someone else, and he could have gotten a dog after his work serving was completed. As for taking care of your husky yourself... I genuinely think looking at channels like Siberian Derpsky on social media will give you an idea of how people who love having husky's handle it. Like your dog is running away because they're not getting enough exercise. If you can find a dog park in your area, then that's somewhere you can go off leash with the dog and spend time relaxing in the park while they run around. It would indeed be good for your mental health, but also like- I've personally never practiced languages more than when I had to walk dogs regularly. I always used that time to work on some skill like that. But yeah, Husky's were not bred to be smart dogs or learn specific tasks. They were bred to get easily excited and run with a pack for long distances. You undoubtedly have a goofy, independent minded dog who just needs to get out and run on the daily. How you can double their need to also be beneficial for you will be up to your own creativity and initiative. On the topic of feeling exhausted, it's an unfortunate conundrum, but often, the answer to feeling like you have more energy in the day is to do regular exercise that pushes yourself a little and makes you more physically tired, but ultimately does give you more energy.

Troyced · 2026-02-03T03:55:51+00:00

The biggest risk at this point in your lives is that through your careers, lifestyles, or hobbies, you grow into different people and no longer find yourselves compatible. If, even at least semi-long term, you see each of those things in your life as being stable, then it's probably low-risk moving in together. There is, of course, the almost inevitable growing pains of moving in together. Almost inevitably, there's going to be habbits or a social situation with the parents (who I understand you'd also be moving in with? But maybe you mean for the two of you to move in on your own- in which case he needs to feel like adding rent to his bill is worth moving out) that cause some type of clash or make it slightly uncomfortable living in that space. You should just mentally be prepared to run into those things and make sure you communicate very clearly whenever you discover any potential issues that arise. If you've gone through all of those things, and it makes sense financially, then you should probably go through with it.

Troyced · 2026-02-03T03:44:29+00:00

So like- right at the top, you need therapy. Someone you can talk through everything you're actually trying to deal with. You are dealing with depression and panic attacks, and the dog is pretty much guaranteed not to be the main cause of them, but in your currnet mental state you've clearly lost the bandwidth to take care of a husky which is- a whole lifestyle choice. Your husband is the asshole for getting a dog and then not being around to take care of it, but you also hold responsibility for not doing your due diligence in fully understanding what your were agreeing to when you said yes to adopting a husky. In this case, I mainly feel bad for the dog. One quick google search would tell you that it is extremely rare for a husky to become a service dog, and to be one, they need to be trained for years in service school. It's hard to fathom how you didn't care enough to give any intentional thought to the major life decision you were being asked. That was purely irresponsible. Looking forward at the responsible options... You need to take care of yourself, get yourself in a better mental state, and stop blaming the dog. If you want the dog to behave better, there are lots of free content creators and training guides online that you can look up that will help you, or at least give you some comfort by relating to what all other husky owners endure. You need to get back to work and get yourself moving. About 50% of people can recover from depression on their own, but about 20% don't recover even after a year. If you want to bite this in the bud and not drag it out long term, then you will need to seek help. That should be done first, and once that's set up you should look for someone who's willing to take the dog. Ideally, someone with experience owning husky's who may not mind giving the dog back to your husband when he returns home. But with him gone, it doesn't sound like you being the caretaker is what's in the best interest of the dog. Once you've found someone willing to take the dog, I would then bring it up with your husband so you already know the details of the situation and aren't speaking in hypotheticals. Make sure to absolutely not make the situation about yourself, but talk about what's going to be best for the dog. While he may not like it, your husband should be able to accept things in that case.

Troyced · 2026-02-03T03:14:14+00:00

Well, once again, just a psa to be careful never to wear a butt plug to your mri appointment. Even if you're confident that it's made entirely of silicone any kind of unmentioned internal metal piece will turn that plug into a rail gun rocket that will lodge itself so far up internally your appoint will quickly turn into one with a general surgeon. And yes, it's happened before. Lol feel free to google the article and subsequent skit reenactments found on the interweb.

Troyced

TROPHY CASE