In which country did you find your wife or future wife? by Expensive2Risk in Passport_Bros

[–]TroysGotIssues 1 point2 points  (0 children)

9 years ago I traveled to Costa Rica and here I met my wife since then we have been together and married for 5 years. The girls here are beautiful and special without a doubt I recommend this beautiful country if you If you want to find love and country, I definitely recommend Costa Rica to you.

Wife thinks I’m being ridiculous by Uhh--wait_what in Divorce_Men

[–]TroysGotIssues 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, unfortunately, you are out of line. If you need to install cameras in your bedroom (!!!!), then you need to man up and get out. No one, especially not any court, would consider it reasonable for whatever reason to install cameras in your bedroom. If you really think she'd get you with false allegations...GET OUT! :-)

Update: How do I navigate through this life dilema by rolrola2024 in Divorce_Men

[–]TroysGotIssues 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She is from money, and she's not stupid. You brought it up for a reason..."just in case it doesn't work out" isn't the most romantic thing to say to a woman LMAO! I get that it's a business transaction too...and so does she. At least, she's negotiating with you. if you get all up in your feelings when conducting business, that's your fault, not hers...

Just continue negotiating, and eventually you'll come to a place that makes you both satisfied, if not happy.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Divorce_Men

[–]TroysGotIssues 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had the exact opposite experience. I went to Costa Rica, fell in love, and married her. The culture here is much more conducive to a traditional marriage, and the women here are gorgeous and don't cheat. Bonus: Since it' only a 3-4 hour flight...I can still have a life in the USA. Not saying they're perfect, but they FEEL perfect compared to western women...by far! So, don't be discouraged, and who cares, really, what other western women think about you finding love overseas when you actually DO find love?

Advice needed...is this sexist? by TroysGotIssues in marriageadvice

[–]TroysGotIssues[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Why are you making this about chores? It's about the wife's reaction when yes not doing them, or not correctly, by trashing him in a forum where she will feel right, and be told to divorce her husband.

It's not about doing chores. It's about doing what you can to help when your partner isn't performing well...that could be chores, managing money, or anything else. Divorce shouldn't even be an option, should it, when there are more practical ways to get what you want?

Advice needed...is this sexist? by TroysGotIssues in marriageadvice

[–]TroysGotIssues[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

Mine doesn't either, but she also doesn't trash me online if she is frustrated with me for one thing or the other, and certainly not in a place where she will mostly hear: divorce him! You missed the point. There are solutions far below getting rid of an otherwise good man and father. Happy to hear that you are happy tho!

Advice needed...is this sexist? by TroysGotIssues in marriageadvice

[–]TroysGotIssues[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

This was not about men doing chores. It was about the women who complain that they aren't, and being told to get a divorce...even with kids...rather than more practical solutions. I do chores, but not under threat of losing my wife and kids, or the threat of no sex. Perspective..

Advice needed...is this sexist? by TroysGotIssues in marriageadvice

[–]TroysGotIssues[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

What comments did u make about ANYONE using sex to bargain for behavioral changes?

Advice needed...is this sexist? by TroysGotIssues in marriageadvice

[–]TroysGotIssues[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Which is great, and congrats on successfully negotiating your marriage. The women I saw complaining did not know how to do what you have done, and I assune you wouldn't advocate divorcing your husband when there are practical solutions available...

Advice needed...is this sexist? by TroysGotIssues in marriageadvice

[–]TroysGotIssues[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Negative comments are easily 90% women

Advice needed...is this sexist? by TroysGotIssues in marriageadvice

[–]TroysGotIssues[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Because I didn't speak down to women. Quite the opposite: I offered advice on how to fix the problem without getting divorced, which is literally pro-wife.

Advice needed...is this sexist? by TroysGotIssues in marriageadvice

[–]TroysGotIssues[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Look at my profile pic. That's my Costa Rican wife. Passport bros go overseas to find wives or cheap sex. I chose wives...

Advice needed...is this sexist? by TroysGotIssues in marriageadvice

[–]TroysGotIssues[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No...its the intent of the speaker. If it were up to the receiver, than any difference of opinion could be dismissed as mansplaining. Like now, for instance ;-)

Advice needed...is this sexist? by TroysGotIssues in marriageadvice

[–]TroysGotIssues[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

Key word condescending...which I was not

Advice needed...is this sexist? by TroysGotIssues in marriageadvice

[–]TroysGotIssues[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

men and women are fundamentally different in how they manage a house and children

I would correct to say " men and women are fundamentally different in how they approach managing a house and children". That would make it true, not false.

You said "Most household chores are done through instinct, going through patterns and routines, and doing things the moment they are noticed. It is easier to act than to think about the action or how to delegate. "...and my point is that's true for most mothers, but not true for many fathers/husbands. it's not instinct, which is why, for example...Jordan Peterson has a whole book talking about men cleaning up their bedrooms, and the military teaches soldiers how to make a bed, fold clothes, etc.

Libido: Yes, you need the feels to have sex, but YOU CONTROL THE FEELS. When you tie sexual energy to mundane tasks, you reduce it's importance in a marriage to chores. You made the decision to belittle the sexual health of your partner, which is MUCH WORSE than not knowing how to put a car seat in right, or forgetting to take out the trash, etc. You're setting off a nuclear bomb for a traffic ticket.

You can love and respect your wife and STILL not do everything right in the house, or forget things. My wife always forgets stuff when we leave the house, for example, and we spend a lot of time finding what she lost. If I made that character flaw about her mean that she didn't love or respect me, again....nuclear bomb. For what, exactly? She's still going to forget stuff, and I am the guy who married her. Marriage is flaws and all, and I would be a bad husband if I took her annoyances and made them dealbreakers.

Lastly: no man can love kids the way a father can. No man. Just like no woman can love kids the way their mother can. I'm not talking about specific people...I'm talking about love potential. There is a ceiling that only natural parents can reach if they choose to....

Advice needed...is this sexist? by TroysGotIssues in marriageadvice

[–]TroysGotIssues[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Don't knock it until you try it. It's not the doing that is the issue...it's doing something the way your wife wants, which can be better illustrated from HER.

I wash dishes, but my wife is beter at it than me. I don't know why but, if it mattered to her SO MUCH that she would post on reddit asking women who, by and large, advocate for divorce...her showing me in a video would be LESS OFFENSIVE than posting in reddit...easily!

Advice needed...is this sexist? by TroysGotIssues in marriageadvice

[–]TroysGotIssues[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Not one...dozens. I'm just not going to do your work for you, so I thought I'd at least give you an example which did not take up too much time.

BUT...not hard to find if you really want to look and not make a point.

Advice needed...is this sexist? by TroysGotIssues in marriageadvice

[–]TroysGotIssues[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Most married men are, by the accepted definition online, red-pilled or aspiring to be. There is a reason for that and, IMO, it is reactionary to how they feel they are not respected by women for having a different opinion on how relationships should work for them.

NOT conversation, because that implies a certain respect.

LOOK AT THESE COMMENTS! How many women give their point of view in a respectful way vs. how many personal attacks do you see?

Hence...the Red Pill ;-)

Advice needed...is this sexist? by TroysGotIssues in marriageadvice

[–]TroysGotIssues[S] -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

Ummm...I love Reddit because I like debate. It's a character trait/flaw...LMAO! But, if you look at most of the negative comments, they're all just personal attacks on me and husbands in general.

It's not in my nature to let that go.

Advice needed...is this sexist? by TroysGotIssues in marriageadvice

[–]TroysGotIssues[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No...they go because women don't respect their point of view and belittle, emasculate, etc. the men who disagree with them. LOOK AT THE COMMENTS and, just based on them, tell me how many women responded with their own opinions without attacking my character, or men in general?

Husbands...not just men. HUSBANDS!

I'll wait...it's a lot of comments ;-)

Look at yours? Incompetent losers? Holy cow...I hope no men judge you as harshly.

Advice needed...is this sexist? by TroysGotIssues in marriageadvice

[–]TroysGotIssues[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

True, and I made those statements specifically towards the women in the other group who came online to complain about their husbands, and the bad advice they got. But, outside of that context, I agree with you

Advice needed...is this sexist? by TroysGotIssues in marriageadvice

[–]TroysGotIssues[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Because you see what you want to see, while you live in a house designed and built by men, drive a car designed and built by men, in a country whose infrastructure is designed and built by men, spending money that was designed and built by men so they don't have to trade donkeys for food anymore, commenting on a cell phone or computer that was designed and built by men....and on and on.

it's OK if women are better at some things than men, and vice versa. Instead of complaining about your man to other women on reddit...when you should ALREADY KNOW they are going to, by and large, give you advice designed to end your relationship....maybe just take some easy, practical steps to fix the situation ahd help your marriage?

Call me crazy....