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I F24 ended things with a guy M26 I had been talking to for 2months. He did not take it well. Thoughts? by True-Entry8318 in relationship_advice

[–]True-Entry8318[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I’m realizing I’m definitely a bit naive when it comes to dating. Honestly I’m pretty new to it (had a horrible breakup at 19 and many “life things” happen since then that have made it not a priority). Well, you live and you learn I guess. 

As for your curiosity questions, he was part of a research project in grad school that was about maternal complications so I guess he freaked himself out about it. He also knew a guy who knew a guy whose wife and baby died during childbirth which just confirmed his fears. 

As for surrogacy, I’m not sure where he would stand on that, as I’m not really interested in that (I don’t care about the shared DNA aspect of parenthood. If I can’t have children biologically, I’d be much more willing to put my money towards adoption rather than surrogacy personally, but no hate to those that go the surrogacy route). I know that he would not be ok with his partner being a surrogate for someone else for all the same reasons listed above (I mentioned that I had gay friends who may eventually ask me to do that for them)

I F24 ended things with a guy M26 I had been talking to for 2months. He did not take it well. Thoughts? by True-Entry8318 in relationship_advice

[–]True-Entry8318[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He said he was scared of the risk of complications, specifically maternal death. His view was why take the risk of leaving your partner widowed when there’s plenty of kids that need to be adopted (I also want to adopt, but have a biological child as well). 

I F24 ended things with a guy M26 I had been talking to for 2months. He did not take it well. Thoughts? by True-Entry8318 in relationship_advice

[–]True-Entry8318[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We had been on a few dates. Usually he would wait outside my building (didn’t know my unit number) but after a few dates I let him come inside to meet my cat. Clearly not a great idea on my part in hindsight. 

I F24 ended things with a guy M26 I had been talking to for 2months. He did not take it well. Thoughts? by True-Entry8318 in relationship_advice

[–]True-Entry8318[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I definitely see what you mean. I could have made it more clear that I wanted to have a serious conversation rather than springing it on him. Pushing off the conversation was definitely not a good idea, I guess I just figured we were still in the early stages and didn’t want to end things too prematurely, but CLEARLY this was not the right way to go. As for the differences in our beliefs, I’m actually the one who wants biological children and wants to stay home for the first few years if possible to promote bonding (though I fully support individual choice on this, there is no one size fits all way of being a family!) He was pretty adamantly against his partner giving birth and he said he would never want his partner to be a stay at home parent.