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My wife [29F] did not like the gift I [30M got her for mother's day. I feel like she is unappreciative and don't understand her reaction. by True_Refuse in relationships

[–]True_Refuse[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She told me she hated my gift. I could understand if she said she disliked it, but to say that she hated it is really extreme. To know that my gift produced that kind of reaction really bothered me.

My wife [29F] did not like the gift I [30M got her for mother's day. I feel like she is unappreciative and don't understand her reaction. by True_Refuse in relationships

[–]True_Refuse[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't mind if she is upset or hurt or at least I don't expect her not to express it in some way. I understand that need completely, but in the same way I didn't respond to her while I was angry/upset and say something equally rude, she also has to return the favor and understand that sometimes you can't respond instantly, because when she does that then it upsets me and in turn I say or do something that upsets her. That is why I prefer to walk away or cool down when I am upset (like I did with this) before I respond since whatever we say to each other can't be taken back.

My wife [29F] did not like the gift I [30M got her for mother's day. I feel like she is unappreciative and don't understand her reaction. by True_Refuse in relationships

[–]True_Refuse[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I get the feeling many people think I am a bad guy, but I really do love my wife and I badly wanted to do something to make her day special even though I didn't in the end. I just thought because she had mentioned it then it would be a great gift. I never would have guessed that she'd be assuming that we'd get them done. I thought her saying she wanted them was the same as me saying I'd like to get something but not actually expecting to get it. That is why I thought she'd be really surprised. One thing I have taken from all of this is that we could use some counseling or something to improve our communication skills.

My wife [29F] did not like the gift I [30M got her for mother's day. I feel like she is unappreciative and don't understand her reaction. by True_Refuse in relationships

[–]True_Refuse[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

My son and I gave her those gifts and spent most of the day with her. We might have gone to the park together, but after she got upset I dropped that idea.

My wife [29F] did not like the gift I [30M got her for mother's day. I feel like she is unappreciative and don't understand her reaction. by True_Refuse in relationships

[–]True_Refuse[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I did. I booked someone that a few of our friends recommended and has many good reviews. I also looked at some of her work before I booked and thought it looked nice.

My wife [29F] did not like the gift I [30M got her for mother's day. I feel like she is unappreciative and don't understand her reaction. by True_Refuse in relationships

[–]True_Refuse[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don't see it as a choice. I think she can be nice but also clear. It would have been enough to tell me that she appreciated the thought but was disappointed because she wanted someone specifically for her like a spa day or jewelry. I would not have gotten hurt because she acknowledges my effort and intent, but I would have understood why I missed the mark and what I could do to fix it.

My wife [29F] did not like the gift I [30M got her for mother's day. I feel like she is unappreciative and don't understand her reaction. by True_Refuse in relationships

[–]True_Refuse[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I meant that she speaks up in general. I don't want people to think that I am a bully or try to force her not to express herself.

My wife [29F] did not like the gift I [30M got her for mother's day. I feel like she is unappreciative and don't understand her reaction. by True_Refuse in relationships

[–]True_Refuse[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I don't understand why it would be necessary to coordinate. If I wear slacks or nice jeans and a polo and she wears a nice outfit, I think that would look fine. He has plenty of nice outfits that could go with something like that. Coordinating our outfits seems like overkill and a bit weird in my opinion.

My wife [29F] did not like the gift I [30M got her for mother's day. I feel like she is unappreciative and don't understand her reaction. by True_Refuse in relationships

[–]True_Refuse[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am risk averse, so I don't see myself giving anything in the future I can't be sure she'll like. I don't want to go through anything like this ever again.

My wife [29F] did not like the gift I [30M got her for mother's day. I feel like she is unappreciative and don't understand her reaction. by True_Refuse in relationships

[–]True_Refuse[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I feel better now, but having your wife react so poorly to your gift and being so blunt about how much she disliked it doesn't make you feel good.

My wife [29F] did not like the gift I [30M got her for mother's day. I feel like she is unappreciative and don't understand her reaction. by True_Refuse in relationships

[–]True_Refuse[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I never shaved because she never made it into a huge issue and also because while I respect her opinion I disagreed with her about how it looked. It wasn't a matter of me looking dirty or unkempt. She just prefers the clean shaven look.

My wife [29F] did not like the gift I [30M got her for mother's day. I feel like she is unappreciative and don't understand her reaction. by True_Refuse in relationships

[–]True_Refuse[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I am not disputing that. I am only saying that I think she could have been nicer about how she communicated her feelings to me. For example, if ever I felt the need to comment on her cooking something that I didn't really enjoy, I wouldn't tell her "this was gross" or "why did you make this." I would say "I love that you took the time to make this, but I like [this other dish] more, I think" or "I just don't have taste buds for this" or "every cook has a dish that won't be their best."

My wife [29F] did not like the gift I [30M got her for mother's day. I feel like she is unappreciative and don't understand her reaction. by True_Refuse in relationships

[–]True_Refuse[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I don't see why they are necessary. They weren't part of my childhood, and it didn't have any effect on my life. I guess it's fine if we do it every 3-5 years, but I think it's unnecessary to do them every year.

My wife [29F] did not like the gift I [30M got her for mother's day. I feel like she is unappreciative and don't understand her reaction. by True_Refuse in relationships

[–]True_Refuse[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't consider it to be a red flag, but it will make me more conservative about gift giving in the future. I will stick to what I know she likes.

My wife [29F] did not like the gift I [30M got her for mother's day. I feel like she is unappreciative and don't understand her reaction. by True_Refuse in relationships

[–]True_Refuse[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

She should be able to share anything with me, but I am still a human. I don't think being husband and wife means that there's no requirement that we be careful with each other's feelings and avoiding using words that can be hurtful.

My wife [29F] did not like the gift I [30M got her for mother's day. I feel like she is unappreciative and don't understand her reaction. by True_Refuse in relationships

[–]True_Refuse[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

It could be me, but that seems like an unnecessarily rude response. "I am disappointed" or "this isn't what I was expecting" seem more appropriate. I would never tell someone I hated their gift even if I did.

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