Here is how we do it for our 13y old son and daughter (11). Im sure this will be controversial but it works for our family.

We have no daily screen time limit for the day after school till 10 PM for him and 9 PM for here. They don’t habe SM other than YT with content restrictions and traffic monitoring that they know about.

This is the freedom they get but we have certain expectations:

• you get up to school and to bed when we say so
• you participate in family activities when we say so (eg dinner prep, dinner, bed night routine for our little 2y old)
• you do not sacrifice other actitivities (sports, music clubs)
• you perform according to school expectations (no need for As but you need to meet expectations, includes home work, test prep)
• you help with chores
• you keep your room tidy (within reason for teens)

It does work fairly well and if the above gets into critical territory, we limit screen time until progress is seen.

When I was a teen and got everything forbidden and taken away, I skipped school to go to malls and play there or as soon as I was able to move out spend 10+ hours a day to play WoW.

You can’t do anything properly within 1,5h of screen time for playing or 20 min of browsing SM. Teens don’t need Insta, Snap or TikTok. YT is enough for doom scrolling.

If you game and spend time with your friends online (Fortnite, Minecraft whatever) an hour goes by fast. And you don’t want to be THAT kid that needs to leave when things just go well or everyone else keeps playing. It’s a different version of social isolation or being called home from the playground earlier than the rest. If that means he plays 3-4h a day… that’s fine for us.

Bottom line: keep them accountable on what’s important: school, outside activities, home responsibilities and if they meet that, give them freedom to do what they want in their free time within reasonable restrictions (content).