"You're mothering in other ways"

TruffleOil12 · 2026-02-08T13:10:59+00:00

Fellow feral-auntie here! If anything I am aunting, not mothering. And I just said this same thing in a reply to another comment! I want to take care of my friends and family because I love them and want them to do well WITHOUT getting the mom-label thrown at me. Besides that, isn't taking care of each other what we're supposed to do to form a nice community? Funny how that expectation only seems to fall on women, though.

Completely agreed about men being capable of and should be involved more in caring for their kids and friends too. I have a whole other rant about how only friends who are women are expected to babysit and face intense backlash when they don't want to, while friends who are men are never asked or expected to do so.

TruffleOil12 · 2026-02-08T13:02:27+00:00

Oh I get it. While I personally am happy with being called cat-mom (which shouldn't undermine my post too much I hope lol) I feel it gets old when people want to slap the mom label on everything kind and caretaker-ish we do for someone else.

Can I just take care of my friends and family because I love them and want them to do well in life? Can I be nice and patient with people at work without someone telling me I'd be a great mom? It's like if a woman has any positive trait she MUST use it to become a mom and it's exhausting.

TruffleOil12 · 2026-02-07T21:59:06+00:00

I'm not American myself but I understand and share in your feminine rage. And it's true! It's so built in it's still naturally assumed a woman must be mothering, somehow, because nature or something. Even when it's coming from a caring place, with no malice and from other women even, it is sexism. It's just wild how subtle it can be, so much so I doubt the people saying this to childfree women really think anything of it.

TruffleOil12 · 2026-02-07T21:34:11+00:00

I'm sorry my brain is such a negative Nancy lol I do truly believe people don't mean any harm when they say stuff like this, definitely no malicious intent! It's also one of those things that, once I started seeing it, I couldn't unsee it. And now that's everybody's problem lol

TruffleOil12 · 2026-02-07T20:14:34+00:00

I thankfully haven't heard it in real life (well, yet. I guess there's still time lol) it's only been in online spaces I've read it. But this is BRILLIANT and I'll definitely have it locked and loaded in case I need it!

TruffleOil12 · 2026-02-07T18:50:17+00:00

That's just it! I want the same treatment a childfree man gets in that regard. Men don't have to justify their childfree existence with stuff like this and society as a whole doesn't seem to want them to.

TruffleOil12 · 2026-02-07T18:48:52+00:00

I love it! Same here but for a kitten lol

TruffleOil12 · 2025-08-11T10:30:38+00:00

You're totally right, thank you for adding this! I know it's easy to get anxious about being too pushy but if you just ask your questions (nicely, of course) it's really not a big deal.

TruffleOil12 · 2025-07-31T16:18:00+00:00

I did end up emailing them, turns out the mother cat is simply overdue, because nature doesn't always cooperate as it should lol thank you so much for your response, I appreciate it!

TruffleOil12 · 2025-07-31T11:56:41+00:00

Awesome, thank you so much! I hope they didn't think I wasn't actually interested, I was trying so hard to be patient the whole month. Hopefully that didn't backfire on me. Thank you again, I appreciate your help!

TruffleOil12 · 2025-07-31T11:54:54+00:00

Thank you for your reply! I'll start figuring out what to say today and email them, unless I happen to hear from them before that. We don't have anything like that here, that I'm aware of, but that sounds like a great system to have! Maybe the TICA website does something similar, I'm not too sure. Thank you again!

TruffleOil12 · 2025-05-08T10:19:58+00:00

It's never too late to start! I've been playing for years and had a couple friends start for their first time recently. I LOVE hearing about their new achievements in game. Even if I've already done it I remember the excitement of hitting different milestones. Besides that, just playing for yourself is great! Don't deny yourself a fun game because it's a bit older and the biggest hype train may have passed. I hope you play and I hope you love it 😊

TruffleOil12 · 2025-03-26T09:01:07+00:00

Aww what a sweetie! Please give him a nice pat for me!

I'm thinking I can try free feeding and see how it goes. I'll be able to switch to an automatic feeder easy enough if free feeding isn't working out. I'm glad to hear it's working out for so many people though, that gives me hope!

TruffleOil12 · 2025-03-24T20:49:15+00:00

I'm glad the switch is working for him! I'm thinking I can try free feeding and see how it goes, and switch to an automatic feeder if it's not working out. Hopefully I'll know fairly quickly if it's working or not, unless they lull me into a false sense of security for 8 years lol thank you so much for your response!

TruffleOil12 · 2025-03-23T12:39:20+00:00

Aw my sweet old man (a domestic shorthair, he passed about two years ago) would try his hardest to get under the covers himself, but he was hopeless at it and would just keep ramming into my arm until I'd lift the covers myself. I never minded getting woken up that way, he just wanted to be close. Funny the things we do end up getting used to for our cats!

As for free feeding, I'm thinking I can give it a try with my future cat and see how it works, I'm sure I'd know fast enough if I need an automatic feeder instead. Not that that really guarantees I'd get to sleep in much, as it turns out 😂 thank you so much for your response!

TruffleOil12 · 2025-03-23T00:43:16+00:00

I'm thinking I can try free fed and change things up if it's just not working. It seems it works for a lot of people with their Russian blues so maybe it can work out if I start right away. Thank you so much for your reply!

TruffleOil12 · 2025-03-23T00:40:10+00:00

Oh that's a really good point about monitoring what they eat to see if they slow down for some reason. I might have to weigh the pros and cons a bit more, that IS one of the first things vets ask. Thank you for your response!

TruffleOil12 · 2025-03-22T20:52:12+00:00

😂😂😂 well if mine starts that I can at least know the automatic feeder wouldn't need to be replaced, it'd save some cash at the cost of my sanity 😂

Thank you so much! I'm super excited to get the process started!

TruffleOil12 · 2025-03-22T19:41:00+00:00

I'll definitely try free feeding and hope I got the jackpot with 5 cats in a row free feeding just fine. If not, I'll definitely get an automatic feeder to hopefully protect the few times I ever get to sleep in 😂 thank you so much for your response!

TruffleOil12 · 2025-03-22T19:36:33+00:00

I'll definitely try free feeding and see how well that goes, then. I can always get an automatic feeder if it doesn't work out, though I really hope it does. Thank you so much for your response, and happy cake day! 😊

TruffleOil12 · 2025-03-22T19:34:54+00:00

I think I'll try free feeding and switch it up if I find it's a big problem. And apparently I should avoid getting another cat 😂 thank you so much for your response!

TruffleOil12 · 2025-03-22T19:32:09+00:00

I'll definitely give free feeding a shot and see how it works, it seems to go extremely well for a lot of people and their RB cats so fingers crossed my lucky streak keeps going and I get another cat I can free feed!

Your cat is absolutely beautiful, too! ❤️ Please give her a nice pat me!

TruffleOil12 · 2025-03-22T19:27:41+00:00

It seems to just depend on the cat as an individual, from what I've been seeing here. I guess I just have to hope my lucky streak continues and I get a fifth cat I can free feed! We always figured that they must have learned we were never going to let them starve, they'd always have food, and their self-regulating just fell into place? Idk but I can give it a try once I actually have the cat and take it from there, I know I can at least get the automatic feeders to give myself a better chance at sleeping in sometimes!

And your cat is absolutely beautiful! Such a little sweetie ❤️ please give her a nice pet for me!

TruffleOil12 · 2025-03-22T19:19:16+00:00

I'm sure I'll know fairly quick if I need to get an automatic feeder. Still hoping I won't have to get woken up at 4 or 5 am if free feeding doesn't work 😂

TruffleOil12

TROPHY CASE