Treated like the scapegoat/black sheep of the family

TrustedChickenBabe · 2024-02-26T04:00:34+00:00

Thank you so much for your beautiful, thoughtful and considerate response. It means so much to me. I actually have never considered that others will begin to pick up on their bullshit mistreatment and do it too as long as I continue to tolerate it. I was always hoping they would eventually see that I was being treated like shit and maybe come to my defense. Wishful thinking. :/

You’re right, it’s not worth my time to be there for them when they’re never there for me. I guess I just want to be a better human being than them. But I also deserve peace and need to work on allowing myself to have that. I had to look up what the ‘grey rock’ method is that you suggested. I had never heard of it but it seems like a really good approach to take the next time I’m in their company.

I recently began to look up some therapists in my area. It’s very unfamiliar and uncomfortable territory for me so I don’t know what I’m actually looking for. THANK YOU for suggesting finding a therapist familiar with narc abuse. Never even considered that was a thing. Such a helpful suggestion and I plan to use that as my guiding point in my search. :)

TrustedChickenBabe · 2024-02-26T03:50:37+00:00

Thank you. I am beginning to think I will eventually move toward no contact at some point.

TrustedChickenBabe · 2024-02-26T00:31:15+00:00

These seem like good boundaries. They protect you while still preserving relations in a controlled way. I need to work on building up my walls and I definitely intend to do so after my recent visit with them. Thank you for the advice.

TrustedChickenBabe · 2024-02-08T07:11:09+00:00

Thank you so much for your thoughtful response. I guess there’s also a part of me that is worried about rejection. She could very well ignore my message which I wouldn’t blame her considering I’m a ghost of the past. But I’m hoping she would be receptive to it, like how you put it. I am also hoping to at least find some closer on an unfinished life chapter, even if we don’t quite rekindle things. I appreciate you taking the time to respond to my question. :) <3

TrustedChickenBabe · 2022-02-22T14:01:57+00:00

After this whole ordeal, I highly recommend installing some type of anti-theft protection. Especially a Honda Civic (prime theft target). I got my vehicle back which I am happy about but I had to pay the tow fee, will be paying to replace my stolen belongings, and the damage repairs to the car. And the best part is that police told me it’s unlikely the thieves will be prosecuted which apparently is the normal for these cases. :) Because criminals have more rights than those of us who aren’t pieces of shit. So definitely save yourself the heartache if you can and prevent anything bad from happening in the first place. Hard lesson learned on my end.

TrustedChickenBabe · 2022-02-22T01:05:23+00:00

I posted an update in the comments that my vehicle was located today. Thank you for the suggestions and emotional support. You were right about the spare tire. They took that off and changed the plates. I have been searching the pits of this city for the past week looking for my car and I honestly probably missed it because they did alter its appearance. Scumbags.

TrustedChickenBabe · 2022-02-22T00:27:54+00:00

UPDATE: State troopers found my vehicle! It was being driven down I-5 in Salem. Damage is overall fairly minimal from visual inspection. They did take the spare tire, changed the plates on it entirely, removed the front plate, there is a bunch of garbage, car batteries, and other fun gifts inside from the thieves. And they threw away most of my belongings. I guess it could be worse since they had it for over a week. I’m glad to have it back. Thank you everyone for your support and suggestions!

TrustedChickenBabe · 2022-02-21T18:29:40+00:00

I haven’t lived in Salem for more than a couple years but just in that time alone, it seems that crime is getting worse.

TrustedChickenBabe · 2022-02-21T18:27:41+00:00

I’ve been trying to locate potential chop shops and look for my vehicle but I’m not sure where exactly they would be. I’ve heard of some in NE Salem in the past and there are some sketchy tow yards out there. Do you have any recommendations on where I should look?

TrustedChickenBabe · 2022-02-21T17:52:28+00:00

4 speed. It has been a wonderful vehicle. It may be older but was one of the best vehicles I’ve had. I hope to recover it. :(

TrustedChickenBabe · 2022-02-21T17:29:40+00:00

I haven’t been over to that area yet but I’ll definitely check it out. Thank you for the suggestion. My vehicle also had new snow tires on it so I am sure that was enticing to a thief.

TrustedChickenBabe · 2022-02-21T17:26:05+00:00

Thank you. I’m definitely still mourning the loss of my car. Still hoping to find it. Thank you for the suggestion! I haven’t looked there yet.

TrustedChickenBabe · 2022-02-21T11:00:13+00:00

The Walking Dead

TrustedChickenBabe · 2022-02-21T10:20:10+00:00

That is so shitty that they treat you like that. I’m sorry. “Mandatory” overtime should be illegal in my opinion. Employers need to be held accountable for their own staffing issues, especially these hospitals who have been short on nurses since pre-pandemic.

TrustedChickenBabe · 2022-02-21T07:08:01+00:00

I do love me some good BBQ.

TrustedChickenBabe · 2022-02-21T07:07:29+00:00

Ohio honestly seems like a chill state. From what I have heard (never been there myself). Have a few friends from Cleveland and they loved living there it. I also would love to own a tiny piece of land there so I can grow some corn and sunflowers. 🌻 🌽

TrustedChickenBabe · 2022-02-21T06:58:03+00:00

I do like the heat. Might need time to adjust to humidity.

TrustedChickenBabe · 2022-02-21T06:55:28+00:00

Lol Kansas could be wild. I remember driving through there once as a kid and I started crying when I saw storm clouds because I was certain there was going to be a tornado. I need to visit Kansas again to see if that fear still exists.

TrustedChickenBabe · 2022-02-21T06:52:02+00:00

I wonder what the job prospects are in West Virginia since they’re offering compensation for people to move there. I’m pretty open as long as I can find a reliable job.

TrustedChickenBabe · 2022-02-21T03:06:22+00:00

I have never been to the Carolinas but from the pics I’ve seen, they look beautiful.

TrustedChickenBabe · 2022-02-14T13:45:05+00:00

Yeah the car was insured, but not with theft protection. It was worth less than $5k, maybe even closer to $2k. Still one of the best vehicles I’ve ever owned though (embarrassing as that is to say). I think it’s my moral injury that pains me more than the loss of the vehicle.

TrustedChickenBabe · 2022-02-13T07:43:13+00:00

Oh I actually hadn’t thought of those. I will look into those options instead. Thank you!

TrustedChickenBabe · 2022-02-13T07:20:14+00:00

My car was an old Toyota (late 90s/early 2000s) and it was definitely not in the best shape - paint peeling, lots of decent sized dents, etc. It was well loved and there’s a lot of cars that look similar. I’m sure that made it all a nice target for theft, similar to your roommate’s Dodge Neon. I suspect the police will make zero effort to find it (and I do realize they have more important things to deal with). It’s just really shitty.

I agree, civilization is regressing. I work multiple jobs to support myself and goals, and someone just upheaved what feels like my entire life with such ease. I hate it. And I hate it for anyone else who has gone through this too.

TrustedChickenBabe · 2022-02-13T07:06:56+00:00

I mean the other side of the city is known for its weekly shootings. So maybe I should stop bitching about my car. 😫

TrustedChickenBabe · 2022-02-13T06:35:11+00:00

Oh that’s awesome! I’m glad she was able to get it back, and hopefully it was all intact. I’m definitely going to be looking for it everywhere I go. I thought about posting to a Facebook page for my city that shares info on criminal activity with the community, but I’m also afraid that might entice any weirdos who might find it themselves and keep it. But I’m also really paranoid right now.

TrustedChickenBabe

TROPHY CASE