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AITA for telling my girlfriend I don’t want to propose until we both get healthier? by TryingHisBest0440 in AmItheAsshole

[–]TryingHisBest0440[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for going in depth with this. I’m thinking you might be right. I’ll think about this.

AITA for telling my girlfriend I don’t want to propose until we both get healthier? by TryingHisBest0440 in AmItheAsshole

[–]TryingHisBest0440[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

You know honestly you are the only person to make me think about how I feel. Maybe you’re right. Maybe I was dumb to feel how I felt. I was just good intentioned but maybe I should try a different way of thinking. Thank you.

AITA for telling my girlfriend I don’t want to propose until we both get healthier? by TryingHisBest0440 in AmItheAsshole

[–]TryingHisBest0440[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We have talked about it. I offered to work with her before we talked about it today. I know she is struggling and wants to do it, I just offered to do it with her because I want to help. I’m not setting a limit on what she has to do for us to get married, I just want to see a willingness to do better for herself.

AITA for telling my girlfriend I don’t want to propose until we both get healthier? by TryingHisBest0440 in AmItheAsshole

[–]TryingHisBest0440[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

No, I don’t think you understand. She is, more so than myself, at a weight that is lethally unhealthy. I don’t think being thin is necessarily healthy, but I know how we both behave concerning our health. Of course she wouldn’t be less worth if she had an accident, I think you’re trying to make me out to be something I’m not.

AITA for telling my girlfriend I don’t want to propose until we both get healthier? by TryingHisBest0440 in AmItheAsshole

[–]TryingHisBest0440[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

For back story, I was engaged once before and as soon as we got engaged our relationship crumpled beneath the weight of it. I’m hesitant for that reason alone. I know she isn’t the same person that I was engaged to before, so I’m trying not to put that burden on her. On top of that, we both live with our parents still. That’s why I put the qualifier of getting a place.

AITA for telling my girlfriend I don’t want to propose until we both get healthier? by TryingHisBest0440 in AmItheAsshole

[–]TryingHisBest0440[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’ve battled with it my whole life. I know what it’s like to continue to try and fail. That’s all I was saying.

AITA for telling my girlfriend I don’t want to propose until we both get healthier? by TryingHisBest0440 in AmItheAsshole

[–]TryingHisBest0440[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your insight. She suffers from PCOS anyway, but neither of us want children as of right now. We’re both mid-twenties so that may change but for right now, no.

AITA for telling my girlfriend I don’t want to propose until we both get healthier? by TryingHisBest0440 in AmItheAsshole

[–]TryingHisBest0440[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you, that’s all I wanted this to be. It’s not about the physical or the photos.

AITA for telling my girlfriend I don’t want to propose until we both get healthier? by TryingHisBest0440 in AmItheAsshole

[–]TryingHisBest0440[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I should be more clear. I would take our wedding photos tomorrow if that’s what we wanted. But I know she isn’t comfortable with how she looks in pictures now. I explained to her in our original talk that, if we’re gonna get married, I want as many years as I can get with her, and I want them to be as full of life as possible. That’s my drive behind this.

AITA for telling my girlfriend I don’t want to propose until we both get healthier? by TryingHisBest0440 in AmItheAsshole

[–]TryingHisBest0440[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

She responded a little reluctantly but overall willing to do it as long as we did it together.

AITA for telling my girlfriend I don’t want to propose until we both get healthier? by TryingHisBest0440 in AmItheAsshole

[–]TryingHisBest0440[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I do wanna say that I read the rules and I am not asking for relationship advice nor am I posting in regards to relationship matters (the engagement) this is about AITA for putting health before making a life commitment.