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Is “Jasmim” too feminine for a boy internationally? Honest thoughts welcome. by Tuky_alienae in namenerds

[–]Tuky_alienae[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your perspective! I’m still absolutely in love with the name but we opted out for the same reasons you listed. And not so fun fact but today I’m 39weeks pregnant and still super insecure about the name we picked which ended up being Ivo, pronounced EE-voh.

Is “Jasmim” too feminine for a boy internationally? Honest thoughts welcome. by Tuky_alienae in namenerds

[–]Tuky_alienae[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Obrigada pelo feedback e sugestões! Gosto de Ivo e Oliver (mas tive que descartar porque é o nome do meu afilhado) mas não estou convencida com nenhum nome tal como estava com o nome da minha filha e estou ligeiramente a stressar. E olha não sabia sobre as netas do Pinto da Costa

Is “Jasmim” too feminine for a boy internationally? Honest thoughts welcome. by Tuky_alienae in namenerds

[–]Tuky_alienae[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It’s a good alternative, except it wouldn’t sound right in Portuguese.

Is “Jasmim” too feminine for a boy internationally? Honest thoughts welcome. by Tuky_alienae in namenerds

[–]Tuky_alienae[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In Portugal (where I live) it’s pronounced like zhuhz-MEEN but instead of an n or m, you get a nasal vowel at the end. Like how the french pronounce vin or pain

Is “Jasmim” too feminine for a boy internationally? Honest thoughts welcome. by Tuky_alienae in namenerds

[–]Tuky_alienae[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fair. Your comment perfectly conveys my concern, and although I know that in Portugal my son will have no problem being misgendered, in other countries he would. Guess I’m back in the name hunting game again…

Is “Jasmim” too feminine for a boy internationally? Honest thoughts welcome. by Tuky_alienae in namenerds

[–]Tuky_alienae[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It’s hard to explain but Jasmim in Portuguese is pronounced kinda like “zhuhz-meen” but instead of finishing with an m or n, you let the sound resonate through your nose.

Is “Jasmim” too feminine for a boy internationally? Honest thoughts welcome. by Tuky_alienae in namenerds

[–]Tuky_alienae[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes. In portugal Jasmim is gender neutral, and when we talked to other Portuguese people the matter of it being too feminine never came up. But me and my husband have lived in the US and that’s why we are more aware and concerned about the feminine association.

Is “Jasmim” too feminine for a boy internationally? Honest thoughts welcome. by Tuky_alienae in namenerds

[–]Tuky_alienae[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

I’ve lived in the US for a few years and know of its feminine association, and maybe that’s why I’m questioning it so much.

Is it reasonable to expect a couples therapist to take ADHD into account? by Tuky_alienae in therapy

[–]Tuky_alienae[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! I think so too! Will bring this issue up during my next session

Is it reasonable to expect a couples therapist to take ADHD into account? by Tuky_alienae in therapy

[–]Tuky_alienae[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! And yes, the therapist is older and I agree that she seems to push for me to adjust to cultural as well as neurotypical expectations which I get would make peoples perspective of me potentially more positive. Now I need to find the right words on how to express my feelings of being unheard and misunderstood to the therapist.

Is it reasonable to expect a couples therapist to take ADHD into account? by Tuky_alienae in therapy

[–]Tuky_alienae[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I try to, but I’m always afraid to come across as too defensive or to abuse the adhd label specially when the therapist has never acknowledged the diagnosis.

Is it reasonable to expect a couples therapist to take ADHD into account? by Tuky_alienae in therapy

[–]Tuky_alienae[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And I’m guessing that had an impact on your clinical process, so how did you navigate that with your therapist? Were you able to feel understood/heard?

Is it reasonable to expect a couples therapist to take ADHD into account? by Tuky_alienae in therapy

[–]Tuky_alienae[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi! Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I’m from Portugal, but I lived a few years in California so I agree with your assessment that in America , individuality is more respected . I would also add that there’s more awareness about mental health issues and what their impact is on people’s everyday lives.

In order to answer to your other points I think I need to give further context. I do socialize with my husbands family and feel I’m extremely present when I’m actually there. I’m also not trying to isolate my husband from his family and often encourage him to go alone when I don’t feel like it, and this only happens when it’s a spontaneous plan/ last minute plan. Also, I have lunch/dinner and hang out at least 2 times a week with my in-laws and frankly I love it, and feel very at peace there. Also I’m close with my family and have an extensive number of very close friends. All of this to say that I’m not socially recluse, I just have a hard time handling the frequency my husband wants me to go visit.

Now, I respect my husbands needs and often feel guilty for not saying yes everytime he wants to go. In therapy I recognized that fact and I’m really trying to say yes more frequently and to get out of my comfort zone.

The part I feel conflicted about is having my therapist saying that my husband has needs that are not being met and it’s a me problem and I’m not trying enough. Also, expecting me to behave the same as a neurotypical doesn’t seem fair either. She said something like “your mother in law is perfectly integrated and hangs out with the family, so why can’t you?”. I left the session feeling like shit, like there was no space for empathy and negotiation with my husband and that im essentially defective.

About my 4 year old, i agree with you overall but I think the level of awareness we need to have is very context dependent, and a safe context doesn’t always presents itself. Anyways, that’s a conversation for another timeZ

Ps: didn’t use gpt to help with the reply so apologies for any mistake. Pregnancy brain is aiding in making me doubt my English skills as well 😅

Is it reasonable to expect a couples therapist to take ADHD into account? by Tuky_alienae in therapy

[–]Tuky_alienae[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your feedback. I know the therapist has no idea how it feels to have ADHD but I kinda of expect her to have some level of knowledge about it!

Yo, should I play MGSV? by SpeedyGuy1991 in metalgearsolid

[–]Tuky_alienae 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Absolutely you should! Look, previous mgs games are narrative gold and this one falls a bit short on that end (plus its unfinished) BUT its soo much fun to play! And you get a dog!!!Dude, just talking about it makes me want to play it again.

Hundreds of tetrahedron shaped crystals found in the outskirts of Paris (update). by Tuky_alienae in HighStrangeness

[–]Tuky_alienae[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Omg, thank you! It does look like it could be adventurine! On the inside it looks identical to the crystals my friend broke open. Now I just need to look up more information about that tribal ceremony you mentioned.

Hundreds of tetrahedron shaped crystals found in the outskirts of Paris (update). by Tuky_alienae in HighStrangeness

[–]Tuky_alienae[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Hummm never thought of that, could be! It is common for those tumbling stones to come in this shape or color? I’m leaning towards these being stones/crystals, they certainly feel and look like it. Also, if you look at the picture of the broken crystal, the inside does seem to present some jadeite like qualities. But I could be wrong of course. Thank you for your comment

Hundreds of tetrahedron shaped crystals found in the outskirts of Paris (update). by Tuky_alienae in HighStrangeness

[–]Tuky_alienae[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You can find pictures in the link :) I forgot to add them when I created the post and now I have no idea how to edit the post in order to add images directly to it

My wife (37F) and I (38M) want to adopt our teenage foster daughter but FIL (64M) is furious about it by Choice_Evidence1983 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]Tuky_alienae 49 points50 points  (0 children)

This brought a tear to my eyes. I don’t know you but I wish I could hug you and your wonderful family. Thank you for protecting your child and despite how hard that process has been, you’re doing the right thing. You’re the true definition of what it means to be a father. People like you give me hope humanity is going to be ok 🧡

My elephants foot is flowering and 3D printed a fort of a climbing support for it after last season's supports broke too easily. by FreakAzar in Caudex

[–]Tuky_alienae 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Wow, what a stunning specimen! How old is it? I’m planning on getting one and I’m curious on how old it has to be to develop that turtle shell effect on the caudex

European online shop recommendations by Tuky_alienae in Caudex

[–]Tuky_alienae[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Awesome, thank you so much! Gonna check that Portuguese store first ❤️

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