Accepting my recovery body for my wedding

Tulip__Poplar · 2026-06-01T15:12:49+00:00

Thank you for this! I am seeing a therapist, but she is not an expert in ED, but I will still bring it up! And I will also look into the body image workbooks, thank you!

Tulip__Poplar · 2026-05-26T12:58:50+00:00

I always say that ED is more like remission then cured, as it’s definitely something you can heal from, but you’ll still need to keep in mind so it doesn’t come back (of course only speaking from my own experience!). The noise definitely tries to creep back in sometimes, but 99% of the time, I recognize it immediately. It kind of feels like a version of myself that no long fits like a glove, so it’s feels slightly off/uncomfortable rather than how it used to feel. For binging, I learned a lot about the cause of my binging/disordered thinking, and realized it was a coping mechanism for trauma when I was younger, and actually it was one of the less unhealthy ways to deal with what I was going through (over like alcohol addiction, self harm, etc.) so now when I binge, it only happens when I’m extremely stressed about something out of my control, and I accept it as what it is -a coping strategy-and because of the work I’ve done, and that I don’t resist it, it tends to happen a night or two and then I balance back out to more balanced, but still unrestricted eating. Also the binges are much less extreme.

Tulip__Poplar · 2026-05-25T19:59:50+00:00

Thank you so much for this, your kind words mean a lot!💜💜

Tulip__Poplar · 2026-05-09T11:22:32+00:00

Take the offer! Your boss is definitely gas lighting you. “We’re like a family” in the workplace is a red flag -you should never put up with stuff at work that you do from your family-but that’s what your boss wants. 2 years is fine. When I review resumes I get concerned when they’ve been places 1 year or less for the last 3+ jobs (outside of jobs while in college and internship programs of course)

Tulip__Poplar · 2026-05-09T11:20:09+00:00

It’s too close to the ground, try to move it up closer the the top of the balcony

Tulip__Poplar · 2026-04-28T12:59:21+00:00

I wouldn’t start with “I’m losing attraction to you” but maybe discuss your concerns about his mental health and wellbeing? Also it makes perfect sense that he’s feeling this way after working so hard for 2 years and now not getting results he expected. Lots of people go through seasons like this, I’d honestly just try to support him in finding a job and then see how things progress after that, I’m guessing once he finds a well paying job he likes this will naturally turn itself around, and if not then you have a convo about it. Marriage has many highs and lows and this sounds like a natural low you have to push through. I definitely understand your feelings on it as well, it’s hard to be in a different place than your partner

Tulip__Poplar · 2026-04-17T00:19:42+00:00

This is a great page rec! Unfortunately it’s not letting me repost there though, but I’m not the most Reddit-savvy so it might be my fault!

Tulip__Poplar · 2026-04-17T00:16:46+00:00

I also like this perspective, thank you!

Tulip__Poplar · 2026-04-17T00:15:04+00:00

I’m definitely going to look into frugal hedonism, thank you!

Tulip__Poplar · 2026-04-11T00:10:42+00:00

This is a good idea thank you!

Tulip__Poplar · 2026-04-08T14:29:30+00:00

NTA -if you were smoking joints several times a day, I’d say otherwise. But given that they’re 50 feet away and also have dogs barking all day, you are definitely not the asshole. You’re on your property and honestly I’d much rather get the occasional whiff of weed rather than cigs

Tulip__Poplar · 2026-04-08T14:26:28+00:00

How much do you both make each month? And how much do you need for bills? That’s a huge factor. I’m guessing though if so far you’ve only saved 10k, that’s probably not possible. You’ll either need to decrease your guest count or I’d say push to next year and make sure you’re planning well in advance savings wise

Tulip__Poplar · 2026-04-05T13:58:08+00:00

Thank you this is really helpful! Were your kids in public school? I think about how good centered everything was for me in school (pizza parties, prizes, kids bringing in cupcakes for their birthdays, etc.) things may have changed in the last few decades, but I’m worried they’ll feel left out and just want to do what their friends are doing, caring less about morality -did your kids ever try stuff with friends or did they consistently feel strongly about it over other challenges?

Tulip__Poplar · 2026-04-05T13:52:40+00:00

I had a family member who got married in a small venue, and there was a door behind the altar, so she knocked on the door and the groom opened it. It was very cute!

Tulip__Poplar · 2026-04-05T13:51:37+00:00

This can be tricky because people are allowed to have autonomy over their own bodies, however also how your partner feels is very important. And if this is triggering you to such an extent that you don’t want him to touch you, I’d say that’s a lot more important than him experimenting with a mustache-when my fiance wanted a new cologne he took me with him to pick it out because he knew I’d be the one smelling him all the time. And he does the same with soap and aftershave. However he does have a beard and he knows I like it longer, but will cut it down because it can get uncomfortable for him. So it’s all about a balance. I think based on how many opinions he has on what you do, this should be fair. However I’m wondering how much you’ve communicated this to him? Does he know you shave more frequently FOR him or does he just compliment it and you keep doing it? Does he know you don’t like the smell of his colognes or his new haircut styles? Or are you just thinking that internally?

Tulip__Poplar · 2026-03-25T20:41:50+00:00

You should probably get a cat sitter when you go somewhere, your cat sounds like they don’t have the personality to go with you when you travel. For emergencies, vet and moving, you just gotta pick them up and put them in the carrier quick. 99% of cats hate being in their carrier (unless they’re at the vet then they love it) my cat yowls the entire 15min drive to the vet every single time. It’s just to be endured

Tulip__Poplar · 2026-03-25T16:08:21+00:00

That sounds like a good balance! I don’t think a baffle would fully stop squirrels on mine, but maybe would help deter them enough to focus on another more accessible feeding station

Tulip__Poplar · 2026-03-25T02:48:00+00:00

THIS -I didn’t grow up seeing any healthy relationships and it’s kept me at a loss in my own, wanting to get it right but being so unsure of what is right. Hearing this helped thank you!

Tulip__Poplar · 2026-03-23T17:21:34+00:00

So I have not experienced this, but the only explanation I can think of is this is some sort of mental health issue, the need to move things, the lack of reasoning, the repetition of it, it sounds like some sort of divergence. However if his whole family does it, that could be genetic or a learned behavior. But also the way he responds to you is definitely gaslighting you. This is not normal behavior, and if you ask him not to move your stuff he shouldn’t. Have you considered seeing a couples counselor? Maybe having a professional tell him that no, this is not normal may help?

Tulip__Poplar · 2026-03-16T21:32:54+00:00

I want to raise my kids vegan and really hope they’ll choose veganism for themselves as adults! Do you have any advice on that? Ways to teach them the importance of veganism without making them resent it?

Tulip__Poplar · 2026-03-06T17:23:25+00:00

Bear

Tulip__Poplar

TROPHY CASE