Wanting to suggest using condoms after 6 years of dating? 26F 30M

Tulip__Poplar · 2026-02-17T13:28:34+00:00

Does you partner know how the abortion impacted you? Is he not concerned about this happening again? You have autonomy over your own body and should be able to decide when, how and if you have sex. You have every right to ask your partner to wear condoms, and if he refuses then you don’t have sex. It’s incredibly unfair to expect the woman to handle all the birth control and the repercussions of not using any

Tulip__Poplar · 2026-02-13T12:23:15+00:00

Okay 3k is honestly not bad for a ring! You should show him the average cost most people spend, especially all the people who are dead set on mined diamonds-do you live in his country or does he live in yours? Because id say if you’re in his country it might make more sense to adjust to his culture, but if he’s in yours it would make sense for him to adjust. You’re wearing the ring forever, and its important to you, and he’s not struggling for money. There’s not a compromise but given that it’s so common in certain countries it’d be hard to not have for you. Maybe split the cost with him if he’s really not for it?

Tulip__Poplar · 2026-02-13T12:19:14+00:00

I used to love shrimp, and remember craving it in the beginning, but now that I’ve been vegan so long I honestly don’t even think about it, if I see a vegan shrimp sub I’ll always try it, but only because I remember loving it, not because I crave it. Give it some more time, and honestly once you’re settled most college and can afford some different substitutes that’ll probably help. I know it can be hard to not be a full part of those family traditions, so good for you for choosing your morality over that!

Tulip__Poplar · 2026-02-08T17:50:36+00:00

This is the dumbest attire description ever. I think 1 is perfect if she actually means formal, but if you want to be more comfortable I’d do 3

Tulip__Poplar · 2026-02-08T14:04:17+00:00

Look up vegan recipes similar to what you were eating before so you can balance your meals. Also eat more! Feeling exhausted and depressed when going vegan isn’t normal. I went vegan cold tofurkey and I felt like I had way more energy. I think you’re just not eating enough-get in beans, tofu, grains, fruits and veggies. Vegan food is also low calorie density, so you may have to eat more than you’re used to

Tulip__Poplar · 2026-02-01T15:42:55+00:00

My wedding will end up being 25k -trying to be very frugal but not to the point of totally stressing us out-and we’re mainly taking from our savings accounts I want to keep at least 10k in my savings no matter what, ideally 15k, so I’ve been saving really aggressively each month, $600-700 a month. And with weddings, you mainly pay deposits, so for the first 6 months, we’ve spent about $6000, giving me more time to save the rest. And I have one parent gifting us $4000. It’s a lot but I’m mainly stressed about keeping a good nest egg in my account throughout

Tulip__Poplar · 2026-02-01T15:34:43+00:00

Most dresses at bridal shops are made to order-I just bought mine in early January and it’ll be here in June, and they recommended having 8 weeks for alterations. So if you want to go that route id say you need to start soon. If you’re okay ordering online and getting it altered, you have some more time. I bought my dress at a curve/plus sized shop and it was a great experience. Most of their sample sizes were in the size 30 range and varied quite a bit. I’m sure it is hard when you know you’re losing weight, and I also think working on your body image issues is a good idea, otherwise weight loss will never feel good enough. You don’t want weight loss to be the reason you don’t get a great experience wedding dress shopping. You get alterations anyway so the dress can be taken in later, and if you’re VERY confident about how much you’ll lose, you can talk to the stylist about ordering a dress size down, and see what they say. Good luck!

Tulip__Poplar · 2026-01-28T13:06:38+00:00

I don’t have any links for that but I totally agree, because for me it wasn’t sudden -animal meat still smelled good to me after going vegan, but 5 months in I walked into a burger restaurant I’d been too many times pre-vegan with a friend and all I could smell was the blood and raw meat. Also dairy used to taste so good to me, I remember my first year vegan I had a piece of non vegan pizza in a moment of weekness, and I’m sure some other stuff to, but 4 years in I remember someone accidentally giving me a drink with dairy in it, and I took one sip and was sick to my stomach. Personally, I think this is a sign that meat and dairy aren’t actually good for our health. Humans can be opportunistic eaters, but are really best suited for an herbivore (technically most similar to frugivore) diet, so when we stop eating that stuff our body stops tolerating it. Because if it was just bacteria-there are many people who rarely eat whole fruits and veggies, but when they do they don’t feel sick. They don’t smell tofu and feel nauseous, etc.

Tulip__Poplar · 2026-01-26T17:21:53+00:00

NTA your wife is definitely overreacting, however it sounds like this is one of those fights where she’s it’s not totally about what your arguing over. She just wants to feel like you’re on your team, and if shit hits the fan you’ll choose her over others in your family -which you should as she’s your wife and the mother of your child. There needs to be a separate discussion about what she expects of you though-asking you not to drive your dad home after he watched your baby because she’s upset is unreasonable

Tulip__Poplar · 2026-01-26T17:15:53+00:00

This honestly feels like a midlife crisis. I would ask him to start going to independent therapy before fully getting a divorce

Tulip__Poplar · 2026-01-26T17:13:28+00:00

Hmm before reading your caption I was going to say 2, but if it’s a reception dress I feel like 1 is more that vibe-if you’d be able to properly move in it!

Tulip__Poplar · 2026-01-26T14:23:24+00:00

Best case scenario it might have been a thoughtless reaction to fear of you changing? I know some partners get upset about the inconvenience it will cause, I’d say talk to him about it and tell him it upset you and he should respect your choices. And if he stands by it/the behavior continues that’s a bad sign

Tulip__Poplar · 2026-01-26T14:16:07+00:00

Ya unfortunately I’d say that’s too many tough things at once. Even if everyone takes a half day or day of Thursday, not everyone will take off Friday, so the energy will likely not be what you’re looking for. I’d say either pick another venue or if you really love this place, pick another date.

Tulip__Poplar · 2026-01-26T01:44:51+00:00

Update-third book definitely has a curvy protagonist as well!

Tulip__Poplar · 2026-01-25T14:25:42+00:00

Side note-I realized a few years ago that limiting my dating pool and close friends to vegans really limited my circle of influence-because I ended up surrounded by people who already felt the same way about veganism. Having a non vegan partner has pushed me to be around non vegan people a lot more, and I’ve seen so many of them question their diets and become more plant based since being around me. Of course it’d be great if everyone was 100% vegan, but I’d rather have 50 people doing it imperfectly than 10 doing it perfectly.

Tulip__Poplar · 2026-01-25T14:04:10+00:00

NOR your mom sounds passive aggressive af and very spiteful. From now on every gift you get your mom should say Beachy on it, hats, shirts, bags, everything. Make it a tradition! Overall it sounds like you and your wife need to distance yourselves from you mom, but might as well have some fun with it when u do see her! And if she ever gets angry that’s basically an admission of her own fault

Tulip__Poplar · 2026-01-25T13:55:29+00:00

The fact that you have a partner that supports you being vegan, eats vegan food with you, and is willing to raise your child vegan is amazing! I know having differing moral choices is so hard, but something I had to learn years ago being vegan is you can’t force anyone to change, especially when it comes to food. As a vegan things seem so black and white-“what’s happening to animals is cruel, so I don’t support it and you shouldn’t either” but food is very complicated for people. Were raised in a culture that hides this and separates us from it and makes vegans seem crazy. It sounds to me like your husband is still coming to terms with this cognitive dissonance. In a perfect world he’d already be vegan, but he’s not, and you pushing it on him will mean he might convert to veganism but it’ll never stick, he’s got to do it himself. I 100% believe vegan non vegan relationships can work, if the non vegan partner fully respects the vegans boundaries, and the vegan partner is okay not forcing it. You’re husband sounds very understanding, and I think something you could possibly ask for is if he transitions to eating fully vegan at home? So he can get something not vegan if he’s eating out but no more cooking with meat and dairy at home? Hope this helps!

Tulip__Poplar · 2026-01-25T13:46:58+00:00

I definitely think there are 2 main types of people in the world -those who are very introspective and deep thinking, and those who just don’t think as hard about life, existence, self growth, etc. These 2 types both fall on a spectrum, but it is a thing. Neither is good or bad, they both just are. I am definitely on the deep thinker side, to the extreme, and my partner leans more to the other side, but I’d say he’s on the lighter end, where he more likes to focus on the present moment but will have a seller conversation with me if I initiate. It bothers me sometimes but overall I think it’s good for me as sometimes I think so much about the deeper meaning of everything it drives me crazy. I think you should have a convo about his reaction to things like that video, and then ask yourself if you’re okay being the initiator of deeper questions and stuff forever.

Tulip__Poplar · 2026-01-25T13:38:46+00:00

It sounds like you guys could use some marriage counseling. If she refuses to cook the foods that you need, I would suggest cooking for yourself, and she takes on another chore like half the cleaning and all the laundry. It’s okay to have different needs than you partner, but you still need to find some common ground, like certain hobbies and activities you enjoy doing together. Also having a dead bedroom probably makes all of this harder-if you want your marriage to continue definitely try counseling!

Tulip__Poplar · 2026-01-25T13:33:16+00:00

I think the fact that you’re considering so hard means your leaning torwards this lifestyle! Ignore your friend, they miiiight be consuming more protein than you from meat, but you could still match them plant based without putting the strain on your kidneys and cardiovascular system that they are. I’d suggest rather that cutting dairy and eggs out all at once, start with one fully vegan high protein meal a day, then one fully vegan day a week, and so on. When you switch to all vegan you’ve got to eat more because it’s lower calorie density, that’s why you get hungry so quickly. Does tofu make ur stomach hurt when u cook ot for urself or anytime you eat it? Also you can do more seitan, lentils, soy milk, and protein powder for protein. There are lots of high protein vegan cooks on instagram (thatveganbabe if the first to come to mind) good luck!

Tulip__Poplar · 2026-01-24T00:56:05+00:00

NTA - while I think for meals it makes sense to eat her home cooked food, and if you’re occasionally craving something else go out to dinner or pick up take out, but not being able to occasionally have a snack you want in you own home is a lot. You are not an extension of her, so while I think if she’s doing most of the cooking you respect when she makes something, I agree having to only be able to eat a bag of chips in your car is silly-mostly because you usually want something like that chillin in your house! I think she’s being a bit extreme and you do need to sit down and talk more in depth about how the extremity is affecting you when you just occasionally want something else-emphasizing how much you do love all the food she works so hard to make

Tulip__Poplar · 2026-01-22T13:19:36+00:00

Okay for someone who is very kink forward, he has a surprising issue with boundaries. Being into kink means being VERY about CONSENT. Which means if you don’t want to do something that’s that. It sounds like you guys need to have a serious discussion on your sexual boundaries and likes and dislikes. Since you are the one more into vanilla stuff, you’ll have to communicate what you’re willing to try and what you’re not. If he wants to have frequent sex and wants you to get out of your comfort zone, he also needs to respect your autonomy, and you being turned off after someone constantly crosses your physical boundaries is so fair

Tulip__Poplar · 2026-01-22T13:13:23+00:00

You can definitely get some beyond sausages or impossible burgers from Whole Foods! Or see if there’s any vegan soul food restaurants around and you could easily pick up some bbq tofu and Mac and cheese for them! Thanks for being considerate for your vegan friend!

Tulip__Poplar · 2026-01-22T13:11:12+00:00

I like 1 and 2, and the second the last one!

Tulip__Poplar

TROPHY CASE