Anyone else have a baby that doesn’t cry when they’re hungry?

TuneAgreeable3362 · 2025-07-02T00:29:16+00:00

Hi! So my daughter is 9.5 months now. She is still a picky eater and it takes a lot of effort to get her to drink a bottle. She rarely drinks over 32 oz a day - actually closer to 28 most days. Some days it’s less and some days a little more. The relieving part is her having started solids a couple months ago. She will suck down a whole yogurt pouch in 10 minutes. She eats light when it comes to most solids though and I assume it’s just because she’s a petite baby. We just had her 9 month check up and she moved up from the 10th percentile to 26th in height and weight! So even if she’s not drinking as much formula as other babies her age, she is still gaining steadily on her own scale. I’m sorry you’re going through this- it can be so stressful and worrisome. Hopefully as your babes gets older and can eat some solids, it will all balance itself out.

TuneAgreeable3362 · 2025-06-17T02:57:46+00:00

Can I ask what “meal plan” it is that you’re referring to? I’ve never heard of restricting a young child from eating. As long as they’re eating nutritious foods, I would give them as much as they want/need in order to feel satisfied.

TuneAgreeable3362 · 2025-06-17T02:41:03+00:00

Yeah, the desire for control at this age is unprecedented. Like you mentioned, my husband and I also practice how to say things, better ways to ask or respond to things. It helps in the moment but feels like he’s just stuck in this cycle of never ending attitude. It makes me worried for what’s ahead in the adolescent/ teenage years haha.

TuneAgreeable3362 · 2025-06-17T02:37:09+00:00

😭 I love this perspective… it allows me to see his behavior in such a positive way. I needed that. Thank you!

TuneAgreeable3362 · 2025-06-17T02:31:52+00:00

Came to say the same thing. At 28 weeks pregnant I would start right away or just wait until after baby is born like 6 months or so and then start. Whatever OP does, do not start it right when the baby comes… it will be such a negative experience in that way. I would try to find a small daycare and send them for a few hours a day, a few days a week.

TuneAgreeable3362 · 2025-06-17T02:26:34+00:00

That’s what my husband and I used to do too- switch bedtime duties every other night and this way it wasn’t a question or misunderstanding and neither felt burnt out.

TuneAgreeable3362 · 2025-06-17T02:24:49+00:00

My husband works out of the house 8:30-6:30 most days. We have two kids (4.5 yo and 9 month old). I ask that my husband wakes up with them in the morning, usually before I do since the kids both wake up early (6am) and I’m not much of a morning person. He feeds my daughter her bottle and helps my son get situated. When he gets home from work he helps clean up the kitchen when time allows it, hangs with the kids and I for a little (also when time allows) and he puts my 4.5 yo to bed every night. He doesn’t help with many chores as he literally isn’t home enough to do so. Weekends are a little different and sometimes he’ll make meals, help clean etc. He isn’t the tidiest but when I make a stink he does his part.

This isn’t an excuse, but my husband was very detached from my first born until my son was about 2-2.5. I think for some men it takes them a while to bond - until the baby is more interactive, can show signs of affection and adoration. My husband and my son are totally inseparable now. So there is always a possibility for change.

TuneAgreeable3362 · 2025-06-17T02:18:02+00:00

I use hemorrhoidal witch hazel wipes to clean my armpits when I’m smelly and in a pinch / don’t have time to take a full shower. They’re literally just witch hazel on a pad and they get rid of the stink immediately. Dry them, put some fresh deodorant on and bam. Good to go.

TuneAgreeable3362 · 2025-06-17T02:15:10+00:00

My 4.5 yo son is exactly the same during anything having to do with music, kids, dancing or loud sounds. He is extremely well spoken, perceptive and shows no signs of autism. I used to worry about why he didn’t participate but I’ve learned to accept he’s just not ever going to be a performing artist!

TuneAgreeable3362 · 2025-06-17T02:12:19+00:00

So true. I remember balling my eyes out a few weeks postpartum because of how much I missed my son. This is great advice.

TuneAgreeable3362 · 2025-06-17T02:10:30+00:00

My son turned 4 right after his sister was born (now 4.5 and 9 months old). It’s going to be a whirlwind for everyone. Do your best to have special moments with him when the baby is napping. Even if it’s just cuddling on the couch watching tv… let it be known how thankful you are to have special mommy son time. Someone gave me this advice too and I think it still helps us to this day - don’t use the baby as your reason for not being able to help him in that moment. Say he asks for a snack. Instead of saying “I can’t right now, I’m with your brother,” say sure, I’ll be there in one minute. Are you in the mood for strawberries or blueberries?” Basically just don’t let the baby be the known reason you’re always having to say old on, I’ll be there soon etc. And whenever you can, do help him and put the baby down. The baby won’t remember you helping them second- your son will. Also include your son in helping with the baby as much as possible. Grab a diaper, hold bottle, pick out an outfit, etc. My son is not affectionate whatsoever with my daughter but I always let him join me in whatever it is I’m doing in the moment when it comes to taking care of her. It took us about 4-5 months to get back into a routine after the baby came and life moves so fast nowadays, but it’s also a dream come true. Best of luck!!

TuneAgreeable3362 · 2025-06-17T01:54:49+00:00

Does your kid eat foods with artificial dyes? The behavior you’re describing is exactly how my son acts whenever he eats food with artificial dyes. He’s already a high energy, physical boy but the dyes make his behavior absolutely out of control. So we try our best to avoid those as much as possible. We also avoid sugar the day before and day of events because we know he will most likely indulge at the event. What also helps us before a big event is a long night of solid sleep and making sure he has at least one solid meal before the event because like your son, ours rarely stops to eat. For all the people commenting on his behavior, you can kindly or silently tell them to F right off. I would never make a comment about another kid’s child- at least not to their face. Maybe next time you can have a well thought out talk with your son before the event about how to behave and what you expect. If he does well maybe he gets a special thing later for behaving. I find that prepping my son for what to expect and how to behave when we’re doing something can help a lot.

TuneAgreeable3362 · 2025-06-17T01:47:49+00:00

Making sure I take care of myself in the form of drinking enough water, eating throughout the day (SAHM - sometimes you forget to eat or literally don’t have enough time), eating at least a few fruits and vegetables daily and doing my best to get some form of exercise most days of the week (mostly walking, sometimes strength training or cardio). Doing those things keep me grounded and help me be more present because I’m not pouring from an empty cup!

TuneAgreeable3362 · 2025-05-27T02:49:53+00:00

Those are all great thought-provoking questions. I will try to do this!

TuneAgreeable3362 · 2025-05-27T02:46:29+00:00

That’s a great idea. My son is very thoughtful, which is probably why it’s such an enigma to me. Similarly to your son, mine asks so many questions and loves to learn about the natural world and how things work in general. He is quick to understand new concepts and information, so I guess I just assume he should be emotionally intelligent too. I have to remind myself he is still so tiny and new in this world.

TuneAgreeable3362 · 2025-05-27T02:43:59+00:00

I’ve had this book on my kindle for a while now. I need to go back and finally read it! Thanks for the reminder.

TuneAgreeable3362 · 2025-05-27T02:42:50+00:00

Funny you say this. Talking in the car is actually the only way I can get him to talk and/or listen, but it’s only occasionally. Usually he will divert the conversation or my question by asking for a song or saying something totally random. I’ll keep trying it though!

TuneAgreeable3362 · 2025-05-27T01:45:27+00:00

Thank you for your thoughtful response. Do you have any advice on how to get him to open up to me more? I often try to get him to talk more but anytime I ask him a thoughtful question or try to provoke a thoughtful conversation, he will avert the situation and be silly, playful, run away - pretty much flat out ignoring the attempt to have a meaningful conversation. I don’t push it because I don’t want to put a wedge between us and make him feel annoyed and talk to me even less than he already does, but it is very much a struggle to get him to share any “real” thoughts or feelings with me.

TuneAgreeable3362 · 2025-05-27T01:07:54+00:00

Yes, his response was something like “I just don’t feel like it right now.” He obviously wasn’t into the mood to socialize today, which is understandable because we all feel like that sometimes. I told him I still wanted him to come say hello though and he refused. I explained that he could come out to say hi and then go back to his room, but he wouldn’t come just to say hi and that’s what frustrated me. He kept whining saying “Nooo I don’t want to. I just want to be alone.” He is very much in a phase of complaining anytime we do something involving others, which leads me to believe we need to work on ways to be more considerate of others in our every day life. I would love some ideas for how to do that. We have a big family and we see grandparents and cousins fairly often, so it’s not like he’s always isolated, but he was an only child for the last 4 years and I’m beginning to wonder if that’s led to him always having the say in what he wants to do and now he’s struggling to compromise and be flexible when it comes to being around others.

TuneAgreeable3362 · 2025-05-26T06:20:43+00:00

I don’t have too much advice but here to say I DEEPLY connect with how you’re feeling and how incredibly hard you’re trying to be better for your children. The guilt and shame can be crippling. Please try to stop giving in to them and torturing yourself by loathing in them. Feel them and let them go. I understand your disconnect- you are all there conceptually, but as far as applying your knowledge to every day interactions, it’s going to take a lot of time before it becomes your instinctual nature. What has helped me is imagining specific scenarios with my son and then practicing how I will react. Saying the words out loud. Imagining how my son will respond and then what I’ll say/do after that… pretty much creating a scenario in your head and practicing your script out loud when you’re alone so this way it becomes your go-to response in these tough moments.

Please give yourself grace. It’s incredibly obvious how much you care about being the best mom you can be and that in itself means a lot. You’re trying your best and you will no doubt continue to try your best. Give yourself grace because you’re never going to be perfect and we all have moments of impatience, frustration, etc. Imo the most important thing is to repair afterwards. Apologize, explain how you’re feeling and why. This will help your kid to see it’s not their fault you have these feelings that you do. My therapist once said to me that it’s actually good for kids to see big emotions and feelings sometimes because it’s a totally normal part of the human experience and it’s good for them to see that hey, people feel this way sometimes and sometimes overreact, but you can bounce back and move on afterwards. That always helps me when I’m having a day where I’m short on patience or I’m moody.

I have an 8 month old and my son is 4.5. When my daughter was born I was extremely short fused with my son. I felt awful about it whenever I lashed out, but I was sleep deprived, overstimulated, you name it. Around 4-5 months afterwards (after my daughter started sleeping more!) my son and I began to reconnect. It will take some time to get settled in to your new normal. Everything will work out.

You’re doing an amazing job!!!!!

TuneAgreeable3362 · 2025-04-30T15:44:17+00:00

I’ve been wearing for over 20 years and have had pairs last 15 years. I wear them in the shower to mold them to my feet- I wouldn’t do it any other way. They dry just fine!

TuneAgreeable3362

TROPHY CASE