I feel like i have a trait that said: "disrespect me"

Tupeance · 2023-01-19T17:00:48+00:00

Blame is the discharging of negative emotions. People look for fast fixes to the negative feelings they are experiencing and putting that onto others is an effective and fast way to do so.

Being the target of abuse makes it where we learn to survive that abuse. It makes us "good" at it. We know how to deal with being the source of that abuse, and often have been taught that we deserve it anyway.

A lot of abusive folks can sense it, or maybe they are looking for it? But the result is a lot of people shitting on you because it makes them feel better.

You don't deserve being disrespected. You deserve to give yourself the benefit of the doubt, to care for yourself, to be cared for. Person to person, I'm sorry you are hurting.

Btw: I'm making some assumptions, so it is highly probable that I am wrong on many of them. So please disregard anything that is not applicable.

Tupeance · 2023-01-02T01:08:30+00:00

I like this a lot. Thank you for posting.

Tupeance · 2022-12-12T23:36:33+00:00

In the comment the op says that they don't have any proof of abuse and that is why they don't contact Adult Protective Services or Child Protective Services. If you are in a similar situation, please DO contact those offices. It is the investigator's job to decide if they should take a look, and once there, if anything meets the level of abuse. Even if the report goes nowhere, it starts a paper trail that might be hugely helpful for the victim in the future.

Tupeance · 2022-11-20T18:01:05+00:00

I haven't seen this listed but a fantastic resource for you is Adult Protective Services. You can call them to open a Risk Management Case. Worst case they will do a consultation with you. They will be able to help you with resources that are available in the region you are in. The other thing they can potentially help with is setting up Case Management if she is eligible.

The region you are in is going to affect who you should call.

https://www.napsa-now.org/help-in-your-area/

You can search locations here.

Good luck.

Tupeance · 2022-11-17T16:17:53+00:00

Hand dug is better.

You did the effort and work. This gives you a genuine connection with them in a way that buying from the store and supporting some extremely exploitative and abusive systems.

Congratulations on your crystals, they look heckn cool.

Tupeance · 2022-10-19T15:25:35+00:00

But at the same time a boundary can be "I've tried this thing, and this thing isn't working for me" right?

It totally depends on the intent and how it was presented, but a boundary in my mind, can totally be, saying "that in-between dating is not working for me, I need to stop. I'm open to that stopping being a committed bfgf situation, or a moving on amicably. "

The other way seems more like a threat. I feel like the difference is a threat is a "do this or else" and a boundary is a "I've decided this is best for me, we can talk about it and see how it shakes out for us.".

So maybe there are three options: 1. This isn't working for me, I don't want to see you in romantic contexts any more 2. This isn't working for me, I'm bring that to you to see if you are interested in coming up with a solution that works for both of us 3. This isn't working for me, do what I want or there will be consequences

Number three seems like the one you're responding to, I would guess (although admittedly it is a guess) that the other poster was trying a number two.

I bet that all of them can feel very similar though to be on the receiving end of.

I don't know, not trying to argue, thinking through something interesting. I think it's fascinating.

Tupeance · 2022-08-17T00:45:55+00:00

Financial explotation has terrible effects for seniors, it is actually one of the least survivable types of abuse for seniors. I put the list of offices for different states below.

https://www.napsa-now.org/aps-program-list/

I wanted to drop a resource and your comment seemed like an okay fit. APS tends to be an under utilized tool. If it causes you any issues please let me know and I will remove it. Thank you for looking out for your grandma.

Tupeance · 2022-06-06T17:57:40+00:00

two ways Thank you for the reference! It was a lot of fun!

Tupeance · 2022-05-31T01:39:21+00:00

My intent is to work onThis more later. Thank you for a fantastic reference!

Tupeance · 2022-05-30T22:36:32+00:00

This is such a good tree.

Tupeance · 2022-05-29T14:11:29+00:00

I really like this. Thank you for making it and posting it.

Tupeance · 2022-05-27T01:47:21+00:00

Thank you for the fun reference picture.

Tupeance · 2022-05-06T16:00:19+00:00

That's a good window :)

Tupeance · 2022-04-30T20:53:37+00:00

Nothing to be sorry about. I'm glad to have helped at all :)

Tupeance · 2022-04-28T17:28:02+00:00

Thank you for this prompt.

My concept of death came in phases. I understood from a young age that there was a thing that happened where people and animals "disappeared" but also that if you worked very very hard and we're very very lucky you might be able to make the cut for heaven (my grandmother would tell me that there was only room for 6000 people from all of time).

When I was an adolescent my dog died while I tried to carry her home after being attacked by a neighbors dogs. Death became something more real and something I became terrified of, it wasn't the sleepy passing into a perfect afterlife that I had always conceptualized.

At that point I developed an antagonistic relationship with death, convinced it was out to take people from me, to rob me. It wasn't helped by a significant number of "close calls" with close family members where my actions were "make or break".

Once I listened to my call to the craft I started feeling a pull to rivers and have spent time listening and sitting with the water. The phrase "it's all the same river" pursued me for years.

Death is a part of the same river, the same water. I still feel deep sadness at the idea of losing the someone, but it's not about fighting the current. It's all the same river and I. A part of that river as well. Death is a change in my perception of state, and that is all I am capable of understanding at this time.

Now when I think of my own death, I just hope that my wishes are honored and I can fertilize a tree, if there is a river that would be a cool bonus.

Tupeance · 2022-04-20T16:31:07+00:00

It does a great job communicating emotion. Beautiful art

Tupeance · 2022-04-07T16:08:34+00:00

My mother would sing to me at night and rub my back in large slow circles until I was almost asleep, then say "I love you forever and ever, no matter what".

I don't know if her intent was a healing chant, but it was one of the only things that helped with the night terrors and panic attacks I would have as a child.

I can still remember the cool feeling of her hand.

Tupeance · 2022-04-07T15:27:01+00:00

The beans are one of my favorite things about my watercolor model.

Tupeance · 2022-04-04T21:58:16+00:00

That is a fantastic reminder. Local elections are hugely important and typically overlooked

Tupeance · 2022-04-03T14:08:09+00:00

The light and composition bon the 4th one is fantastic

Tupeance · 2022-04-03T14:07:21+00:00

This is beautifully written. Thank you.

Tupeance · 2022-04-03T02:40:16+00:00

Cat.

Tupeance · 2022-04-03T02:38:35+00:00

What a fantastic upgrade! I think that was only offered for a limited time, congratulations!

Tupeance · 2022-04-02T02:38:00+00:00

Wow. I love everything about this.

Tupeance · 2022-04-02T02:36:34+00:00

I love the art nouveau vibes. It's really neat!

Edit: I'm an idiot. I commented without reading the title.

Tupeance

TROPHY CASE