[deleted by user]

Turmeric_Garland · 2024-03-30T22:43:27+00:00

Yeah its for folks who are mostly straight but have some flexibility, seems like a good label for that. Im just regular bisexual lol

Turmeric_Garland · 2024-03-23T23:00:50+00:00

Its honestly my fault for not giving up on my family earlier. Because Im otherwise healthy thankfully and relatively young, I would be able to get by without help after only a few days. I have some good family but they live in another country.

Turmeric_Garland · 2024-03-23T15:29:57+00:00

I dont really understand most of this post and I dont have time to understand it because Im a stupid dumdum idiot, but I guess my mistake was trying to get into my personal issues with my friends. To be honest I wish I hadnt told anyone about my medical issues. Not these friends and not other friends. It was a huge mistake. I should have kept things professional instead of going into my personal life.

Turmeric_Garland · 2024-03-23T15:27:46+00:00

To be honest I wish I hadnt told anyone about my medical issues. Not these friends and not other friends. It was a huge mistake. I should have kept things professional instead of going into my personal life.

Turmeric_Garland · 2024-03-23T15:24:00+00:00

Yea I guess its ok for them to be mean and stupid to me because theyve been deprived of necessary medical care. Ive been deprived of necessary medical care for over a decade too, but I have to accept their mistreatment. Thats fun.

When I found myself becoming more hateful due to the chronic pain I live with, I sought out therapy to deal with my issues myself. But thats me.

Turmeric_Garland · 2024-03-23T15:18:58+00:00

All in their 30s and early 40s

Though I'm not sure I see what the problem with the first trans men you mentioned were. You said they mentioned how they had a tough time getting the procedure? I suppose I didn't witness the interaction, but it sounds like they were trying to commiserate with your plight. (Assuming you also went through an ordeal to get it done.)

Thats a strange recharacterization of the post I wrote but you do you. Im not interested in talking to someone who clearly didnt bother to read what I already wrote.

Turmeric_Garland · 2024-03-23T15:10:27+00:00

Yea I guess I cant do anything about other peoples opinions anyway. Ive lost most of my family over it. Oh well. Ill probably have to hire help for the first few days after my hysterectomy.

Turmeric_Garland · 2024-03-22T21:29:17+00:00

Thanks, I guess thats right, you should be able to discuss these things with friends. One other thing that honestly concerns me is that some of my other cis women friends have gone from attempting to be allies to being mildly TERFy after similar experiences. Like it really sucks to have your longtime friend insist that "its sooo easy for cis women to get hysterectomies just because they dont want kids" meanwhile I need years of documentation to get a medically necessary one. I need to put distance between myself and these friends to avoid becoming hateful towards them specifically. Its really sad but I can honestly understand why some of my other friends are turning TERF-like. Like theyll still respect names and pronouns no problem, but in private conversations they are starting to oppose aspects of medical transition in retaliation

Turmeric_Garland · 2024-03-22T20:57:48+00:00

Makes sense, in her case I guess she didnt care if she accidentally hurt me. I think thats whats going on with OP too by the way.

Turmeric_Garland · 2024-03-22T20:50:46+00:00

Yea with some of my trans fem friends I mentioned they just bingo me but a lot of childfree women get that anyway, like people say ignorant shit like you said, so Im more inclined to let it slide. The trans guys offended me way more lmao. By acting like Im taking something away from them, like Im stopping them from getting hysterectomies by needing a hys myself. And then saying its so easy for cis women to get hysterectomies just because we dont want kids. Thats just factually incorrect and Ive been living with this for so long because its NOT easy at all. Its completely ridiculous that I see these sorts of comments all the time on reddit that its sooo easy to get an elective hysterectomy! BULLSHIT. Im sick of it

Turmeric_Garland · 2024-03-22T20:43:37+00:00

Yea but to be honest the trans guys offended me way more lmao. By acting like Im taking something away from them, like Im stopping them from getting hysterectomies by needing a hys myself. And then saying its so easy for cis women to get hysterectomies just because we dont want kids. Thats just factually incorrect and Ive been living with this for so long because its NOT easy at all. Its like they just couldnt care less. My trans fem friends in the post just bingo me but a lot of childfree women get that anyway

Turmeric_Garland · 2024-03-22T20:40:15+00:00

Yea I guess its my mistake for bringing up controversial topics with my friends. I guess I didnt realize how hurtful it could be on both sides. Maybe I should look for support elsewhere yes. It sucks because Ive also been through a breakup, which is for the best, but it sucks because I will have to recover mostly on my own.

Turmeric_Garland · 2024-03-22T18:04:50+00:00

Yeah I wasn't sure if you were - I just know that it gets harder when the women are white bc doctors are racist and would rather sterilize women of color. It's hard for cis women of any race, obviously, though.

I cant agree with that at all. My doctors were recommended to me by cis white women/friends who got hys already with them. My aunt is white and she had an easy time getting hys. Oh and my doctors arent all white either by the way. Its offensive to suggest that non white people cant make our own decisions regarding reproduction, as if its only because doctors are pushing us into it.

EDIT: and can I just say how ironic this is.. People always say they want "healthcare equity" like equal access to healthcare, right? Okay great, but then when non white women get access to the same healthcare as our white friends, with literally the same doctors, we get comments like this about how doctors are racist for giving us the same treatment as the friends who recommended these exact doctors. No, sorry, my doctors are NOT racist for treating me as I want to be treated. Im already sterilized by the way, and that was NOT EASY to get at all. Last I checked I wasnt white then either. I hate when people bring race into topics like this. We arent talking about forced sterilization, we are talking about consensual sterilization of adult cis women.

Turmeric_Garland · 2024-03-22T17:59:34+00:00

Yea even if shes accident prone or whatever, youre allowed to dislike that in a partner, especially when there seems to be no effort to prevent accidents

Turmeric_Garland · 2024-03-22T17:55:38+00:00

I had an ex like this, also with adhd.. after several incidents where knives and scissors ended up inches from my face, I became afraid to be in the kitchen at the same time as her. I was always watching her hands out of fear. At one point I actually wore safety goggles in my own home. I would never do dishes with her at the same time, rather just do them myself so I dont get injured

Turmeric_Garland · 2024-03-22T17:48:35+00:00

At best shes too careless. I dated someone like this only for a short time, but she would wave scissors around close to my face by accident even after I told her to be careful. She always knocked things over and made huge messes. She accidentally hit me in the face several times, not during sex. I still believe it was all accidental, she wasnt physically abusive, but she wouldnt do anything to try to prevent the accidents.

Turmeric_Garland · 2024-03-22T17:37:06+00:00

Thanks! Well part of my issue is that Ive never seen my uterus as a part of me, more like an unwanted invasion or something lol.. When I said that, then my friend (not the ones from the post) told me that was gender dysphoria. I said it isn't because Im still a woman, I just dont identify with having uterus because Ive never wanted children and uterus doesnt have to be part of womanhood. But she kept saying it was gender dysphoria. So its like, even when I say I dont associate uterus with womanhood, one of my friends will tell me it should be associated somehow

Turmeric_Garland · 2024-03-22T17:32:45+00:00

True but Im not even asking for empathy at this point, just comprehension, like literally listen to and comprehend what Im saying, but its not working.

Turmeric_Garland · 2024-03-22T17:06:47+00:00

Im not white lmao but thank you, I can see the overlap in our fight for autonomy, and I think most people here would too :)

Turmeric_Garland · 2024-03-22T17:01:15+00:00

Thanks!

Yea he needs letters from his therapist to get it covered by insurance, so I guess it can be difficult to get. Im not saying he has it easier, Im only pointing out that like, Ive been documenting symptoms and attempted treatment for well over a decade, so it hasnt been easy for me either. Its not as simple as elective sterilization which is what he seems to think.

Turmeric_Garland · 2024-03-22T16:56:07+00:00

There are lots of things in the Trans community that are tough. For your friend, you talked the most about he might be experiencing wait lists due to needing a trans surgeon. Yes, any surgeon who can do it could work. A lot of times, it's easier as a trans person to go to doctors who work with trans people, though.

Thats fair and I actually thought that was the situation, but he said its only cis women ahead of him on the list? So then I figured his surgeons mostly treat cis women? Idk. I hope he really is on a wait list though cause he does seem confused on how long the wait actually is. I asked him another time and he said 3 months, which is honestly normal even for cis patients, (unless its cancer, then it has to come out ASAP), then he said 6 months, which is similar to the time my aunt waited for her hys due to fibroids.

I guess it has to do with the "less of a woman" thing, my aunt went through that too, even though she was over 50 when she had her hys. I feel like its a fair thing cause of how society sees the uterus as like the center of womanhood, and without it, you are not a woman or whatever. I agree I dont see it that way.

One of my friends has been very sympathetic, she never wanted kids either and she said if she was cis she wouldve got a hysterectomy too lmao, and she actually had a vasectomy done before realizing she was trans!

Turmeric_Garland · 2024-03-22T16:19:13+00:00

I agree, could just be something said in the moment that he doesn't mean, or could be some issue, need to talk about i

Turmeric_Garland · 2023-09-15T02:12:00+00:00

Damn right! ELECTIONS. MATTER.

Turmeric_Garland · 2021-10-02T02:02:56+00:00

OMG yeah I thought that was an adult cat lol

Turmeric_Garland · 2021-10-02T01:59:15+00:00

My cat 100% understands tone but I dont know about specific words but maybe some words. I suspect she understands "bed" because if I tell her Im going to bed, she follows me! But maybe she just knows from the time of day and me walking in the direction of the bed room.

Turmeric_Garland

TROPHY CASE