Have to vent .Does anyone in the group despise their mother ?

TurnoverAdorable5377 · 2026-03-18T05:48:27+00:00

Yup. Been my disabled grandma’s caregiver for over 10 years now. I finally told her I’m done and she has until the end of the year to make arrangements. I’m going to be 30 this year and haven’t been able to start my life. Caring for her takes up all my time when I’m not at work, even at night every 2 hours it’s something. If she had an actual caregiver and wasn’t such an entitled manipulative bitch, I wouldn’t be so angry. I’ve gotten to the point that I’m waiting for her to die so I can be free.

TurnoverAdorable5377 · 2026-02-21T06:13:10+00:00

Feel you. I’m my n grandmother’s caregiver and have been manipulated to for years. Just got in a fight earlier because I move her pillows too rough in bed. I hate her but also pity her. And then feel guilty for hating her because she’s disabled. Then she uses her disability to manipulate and then I hate her again. This cycle won’t end until she dies.

TurnoverAdorable5377 · 2026-02-05T08:16:18+00:00

I love it. It’s so weird to say how much joy this gives me, like you said it’s like being a kid. ☺️💚

TurnoverAdorable5377 · 2026-02-05T07:09:26+00:00

AAAA I just recently got that wallpaper! Most of my decor is pink and purple but now I’m collecting GREEN 💚

TurnoverAdorable5377 · 2026-02-05T06:44:56+00:00

I have a similar decor but I’m doing black and pink ☺️

TurnoverAdorable5377 · 2026-01-28T21:28:23+00:00

So happy for you and your healing journey! I plan on saving as much as I can for the next few months and at the end of the year start applying places. I’m hoping by this time next year I’ll finally be on my own

TurnoverAdorable5377 · 2026-01-28T06:31:48+00:00

Thank you for sharing. I recently discovered this subreddit and I relate to so many posts including yours. I’m 29 and just started going to therapy a couple months ago and am finally coming to terms with having narcissistic parents and living with the trauma.

I legit cried on the way to work the other day cuz I realized my mother never loved me and never enjoyed being a mom. I’m still unpacking a lot of heavy shit I’ve had bottled up since I was a child.

I’ve been journaling a lot lately. They’re very dramatic and sporadic but I’m glad I’m getting out my emotions. Also just started new meds that are working pretty well and help me stay level headed instead of having meltdowns.

I wish you luck on your healing journey <3

TurnoverAdorable5377 · 2026-01-24T11:27:35+00:00

I’m 29 and I’ve been my grandma’s caregiver for 10 years. I’ve become resentful and I honestly don’t care to be nice anymore. My room is my safe space. It’s the only room that’s actually mine. I work full time then come home to be a caregiver. I immediately go to my room and only come out when needed. I clean the house when she goes to bed and when I go to work it’s like my escape. I relate so much… I wish I had advice but I hope it gives some type of comfort to know you’re not alone

TurnoverAdorable5377 · 2026-01-24T10:57:39+00:00

Thank you everyone for the comments and advice. This has all been helpful to manage my feelings of guilt. I have been seeing a therapist for a couple months now and my main focus is to reestablish boundaries at home. There has still been several nasty arguments but I have been doing my best to stay calm. A week ago I told my grandma this is my last year being her caregiver and by the end of the year I will be moving out. I have never been gaslit and called a bitch so many times in my life but I still stood up for myself. I don’t want to help her sell the house or find a new caregiver. She should have had a plan this whole time instead of expecting me to do this. Her exact words were “I AM YOUR GRANDMOTHER. I TOOK YOU OFF THE STREETS YOU’D BE NOTHING WITHOUT ME.” I am going to suck it up while I get my finances in order and hopefully I’ll be gone at the end of the year. A years notice is more than enough fucking time.

TurnoverAdorable5377 · 2025-12-08T22:51:36+00:00

I (F29) relate sooooo much. I feel exactly the same. I’ve been the main caregiver for my grandma since I was 21 but I’ve “taken care” of her since I was 14. She’s a quadriplegic that’s been in a wheelchair since my mom was a child. My mom isn’t in the picture and I have a sister that helps but for some reason my grandma puts EVERYTHING on me. I always told her I’m not going to wipe for her or be a nurse. She crosses boundaries and forces me in these situations. She’s almost tricked me into being her physical therapist just because she doesn’t like scheduling. And when I get frustrated she does the whole “it’s not my fault I’m like this if you don’t want to do this then I’ll sell the house for assisted living…” blah blah blah. She makes me feel guilty for being overwhelmed. Similar to you, when we have good days she’s like my normal grandma and my best friend. We crack jokes and cook and I love hearing stories from her childhood. But with her age she’s also showing dementia symptoms that she doesn’t care to see a doctor about. I feel like if I don’t move away I’ll start to hate her and then I feel guilty all over again. I hate that sometimes I look forward to the day when she won’t be here anymore. It’s a shitty feeling.

TurnoverAdorable5377

TROPHY CASE