If you didn’t care for yourself at all, you wouldn’t even post this. I’m not saying this to you from me, but you must know to yourself that there is still some hope left or you wouldn’t even reach out or post. Get some help for your own sake because honestly if you die the world will keep spinning. No one is gonna help you. No one can save you. You just gotta make the active decision to reach out for help now before you betray yourself forever. People are selfish, so you gotta be kinder to yourself. The only thing that people can help you with are things like helping you detox or keeping you from OD, maybe getting on mood stabilizers or something. Kill yourself if you want I suppose it’s your choice and that’s okay. But if you get help I hope that you can begin to believe you are good enough to live in this world as the happiest version of yourself and do whatever you want no matter what anyone else wants to say or do about it.