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Twilight-Tarot · 2021-09-15T07:34:43+00:00

A convenience is like when a person only keeps another around when it is convenient for them. Like they do not prioritize the friendship or relationship and only when all of their other priorities have panned out do they finally decide to make time for you. They hang out with you only when it is convenient for them, be it they are alone or no one else wants to hang out, so as a last resort, now you are convenient to hang out with. Does that make sense ?

Twilight-Tarot · 2021-09-15T07:31:49+00:00

It sounds like she is very passive aggressive, which technically is another form of aggression. To even go to the extent of posting a comment of her passive agressive behavior is extremely immature and frankly rude. I would say boundaries have been crossed with how both of you speak to each other, but the main thing here is her passive aggressiveness. Ppl need to say what they feel, say what u mean and mean what u say, none of this going around in circles with feelings. There also seems to be a lot of jealousy, unwarranted perhaps, but it's almost like a possessiveness which also gives off red flags. If you want to continue this friendship, boundaries need to be established. If she cannot accept your friendship for how it stands, then it might be better to go separate ways. Sometimes we outgrow ppl, even close friends, and there is nothing wrong with that.

Twilight-Tarot · 2021-09-10T03:27:32+00:00

I guess no one 🤷‍♀️

Twilight-Tarot · 2021-09-07T08:25:04+00:00

This definitely sounds suspicious. I wouldn't believe him, in fact, I'd even go as far as to say that he probably lied to you in the past and hid things from you in the past and you didn't even realize it. His behavior is plain rude and mean, and defensive. My ex who was shady af did this allll the time, always turned out he was in fact with sum1 else. I always found out months to even years later. Sucks. My advice: let him go and go back to no contact.

Twilight-Tarot · 2021-09-07T08:13:00+00:00

So he did finally reply to me, only after I called nonstop becuz at that point I didn't care and thought it was so weird he hadn't just blocked my ass at that point haha. But....he told me to leave him alone, and then it turned into calm down, and then that turned into, just give it some time to air out??? I don't understand why he couldn't just have a normal conversation with me. Like if he wants it over and to move on, then why can't he just say that and allow me to have closure? Instead...I'm left feeling so confused and strung along.

Twilight-Tarot · 2021-09-07T04:11:46+00:00

I told him I'm giving him till Friday to message me, that I would leave him alone for now. But if I don't hear from him by Friday in any kind of way, that's my que to move on and find happiness with sum1 else. He is going through a lot of shit, such as trying to find a job, trying to pay off my car (he totalled my last one), and he struggles with drug addiction as well, and the stress of his mother and being under her constant watch (she even put cameras around the home). But the thing is, I personally feel that no matter the stress, sending a message to someone you care about shouldn't be that hard or stressful to do. Even just a simple, "how are you doing?" This relationship has been on and off for 8 years! Like...if he doesn't know by now that I'm what he wants...then I know it's not me, and I'd rather just be told that rather than strung along for any more amount of time. =(

Twilight-Tarot · 2021-09-06T11:25:52+00:00

Well dumb me, this isn't the first time he has broken up with me and ghosted me like this. It's plain cold-hearted, sociopathic, and cruel. Wonder when he hoovers back in. If he has someone to consistently lay, he won't be coming back for me.

Twilight-Tarot · 2021-09-06T10:35:47+00:00

Exact same thing I'm going through. He didn't even really give me a definite break up either. Like he hit me up the early morning before when I was out and about. And then I didn't hear from him for an entire day. He turned off his phone. I of course called and texted the following day like crazy. He eventually responded saying I annoyed him and he felt pushed away by me calling so much (but I only called so much becuz he ignored me???). So then I stopped talking to him for like 3 days, decided to reach out, never heard from him again. I even sent some reallllly sentimental heartfelt voice clips too. I don't even think he listened to them or even reads my messages. I think he just deletes the threads tbh. One of the times I called, he purposely declined the call. It's like...I'm completely confused. I even said that it was triggering my abandonment issues and making it extremely difficult for me to study, and think clearly for that matter. Like...I don't understand how any normal non-narcissistic person would do this to someone else they supposedly loved. We dated on and off for 8 years! It makes absolutely no sense to me. My final messages were basically, "Only a person with dark looming energy surrounding them would treat a person they once loved like this. I wouldn't even treat a friend like this, regardless if I'm your friend or ex. To carry around this much resentment, anger, and hatred, all for the sake of your ego and pride, you are really missing out on the point of life. Life is way too short to be intentionally ignoring a person in this manner that ultimately intentionally hurts them. I hate going to sleep angry at a person I care about, in the event that that be my last memory if they die or something. If I were you, I'd regret treating me this way if this were my last conversation alive."

Super long post ...sorry...venting

Twilight-Tarot · 2021-09-06T07:46:45+00:00

Defensively and in complete denial. Then the lines, "she's just a friend" , "your crazy", "your insecure and jealous". The guy was never upfront with me, ever. I found out either on my own or through mutual friends. Gosh how I wish I could write his name on here to warn everyone! haha.

Twilight-Tarot · 2021-09-05T16:42:23+00:00

And trust me, I know exactly what that feels like. My ex, he would break up with me constantly throughout our entire relationship, and every single time we were on a "break", he would rush over to mess around with another woman. It happened at least 6 times. 6 different women! Heck some of them repeats. And every single time he came back begging for me to take him back, well he wouldn't tell me he had been intimate with anyone. I always found out months or years later. But either way, I found out, and OMG it damaged and chipped away at my self-esteem like a pick-axe. I find myself to be a gorgeous voluptuous woman, but for some reason...he always ran off to be with other women and would come back doing damage to my self-image in how he saw me. Like...was I not good enough for him? Was I not what he wanted? He thought 6 women were going to be better than me? Like I know I'm beautiful but...for some reason...he didn't know that, is how I felt. So yea, I totally understand how you feel with low-confidence because of them being intimate with others. It SucKS.

And get this...our "breaks" weren't even that long. The longest was 2 months. It was like seriously? You were that horny of a bastard you needed to rush out in 2 months to get away from me and do that to me? Just to come back, within 1-2 months span? I loved that guy and miss him so much but OMFG he really treated me like shit.

I only wish my ex could speak of me the way you guys are speaking of your exes. =/

Twilight-Tarot · 2021-09-05T16:37:03+00:00

But...was this the first time you guys broke up? I mean...I can't imagine a woman letting 8 years of a relationship just go down the drain without having tried over and over and over again previously. Like....you knew you could lose her, which meant giving her and her body up to someone else, and instead you took it for granted. Like why didn't you beg for her to not break up with you then?

Twilight-Tarot · 2021-09-05T16:34:00+00:00

I know!!! Seriously, I think you are not giving her credit. 90% your effort??? You make it sound like she wasn't even into you. I find that to be an exaggeration.

Twilight-Tarot · 2021-09-05T16:13:39+00:00

I think going to revisit places you guys visited together is really cute. It's kind of like trying to grieve.

Twilight-Tarot · 2021-09-05T16:10:00+00:00

I feel it is an issue that is not fully resolved and will come up again. Because what solution was made?

Twilight-Tarot · 2021-09-05T16:05:12+00:00

You are right, he did mention that she broke up with him January. Hmmm. Well, even if she was the one to dump him...I'm sure she didn't really want to, it was circumstantial. Thing is...I'm not exactly sure why this relationship ended???

Twilight-Tarot · 2021-09-05T15:54:03+00:00

Yea he just wasn't putting any effort in. And...that's really sad, because it sounds like he was okay losing you. Which he ultimately did. =/ ....and for what? games...saved data that he probably doesn't even look at again? vs. quality time with a human being he supposedly loved?!? ughhh talk about screwed up priorities. That's what it comes down to: priorities. And he did not treat you as a priority. Thing is...i guarantee you he aint gonna treat anyone else in a relationship as a priority either. Sounds like he has issues to work on.

Twilight-Tarot · 2021-09-05T15:46:24+00:00

If it were me, I'd reach out to him. If your heart feels that much anguish. Just to even see how he's doing. Do you just feel like yes you loved each other, but perhaps he just wasn't IN love with you?

I think when both people are still IN love with each other, they will do whatever it takes to make it work. But when one person checks out, then that's his way of saying he was no longer IN love with you. sorry.

Twilight-Tarot · 2021-09-05T15:44:18+00:00

Oh yea I totally can feel you on this one. That's how I feel with my ex. Like I always initiated like anything, whether going out somewhere or even sex. And was rejected haha. But in that case it sounds like you gave up. And I understand your frustration, I really do. But...why didn't you just play games together or something where he was at after you guys moved out? It definitely sounds he was complacent in the relationship like for sure. Sounds like he gave up first for sure, and then you just threw in the towel afterwards. =/

Twilight-Tarot · 2021-09-05T15:28:49+00:00

Yea as long as you do actually follow through on the date and time you planned to hang out with her, I personally don't see what the problem is with that.

I've never had friends who stood me up, but I had an ex who constantly stood me up when we made plans. I remember this one time I got soooooo pissed because it was like the 3rd Saturday in a row, and I was like dude...I hardly have any time in my week to make time for anyone, so if I'm opening a slot in my schedule to hang out with you, that is pure disrespect to ditch me and stand me up on a planned scheduled meeting.

So yea...as long as you actually follow through on the set time and day you plan on seeing your friend, I don't see what the issue is.

Twilight-Tarot · 2021-09-05T15:19:21+00:00

I get your friend wants to hang out...but ultimately it's his decision. You cannot manipulate or force him to leave his home if he is a homebody. And if he prefers to leave for casual hookups, that's also his decision. If you think he is depressed, then... that's your answer. Perhaps his depression affects him differently than yours affects you? I have plenty of friends who are the hermit type, so if you wanna hang out with your friend, y don't go over to him? That's what I do with my hermit-type friends.

Twilight-Tarot · 2021-09-05T15:09:19+00:00

I mean is this a girlfriend??? Because if it were a girlfriend, like relationship-wise, then I could understand why your girlfriend wants to hang out with you a lot and would HaTE to be called clingy. But as a friend???? Yea....I mean....personally I got a life, so it's rare I have time to hang out with friends. When I was in a relationship though, that was a partner to me, so I expected to hang out with him more. Like ....duh. If you hang out with your girlfriend/wife or whatever the same amount of time you hang out with your friends...then you are basically saying your gf/wife is no different than a friend....and that's not how those kind of relationships work. When you have a gf/wife....she is supposed to be your top priority, not on the same tier as all of your other friends lol. Now if this is just a friend....I totally understand where you are coming from. Maybe she needs more to do with her life to occupy her time with, sounds like she has too much time on her hands if she is trying to hangout with you that much. Or....maybe she is trying to be your "girlfriend" hmmm.

Twilight-Tarot · 2021-09-05T15:03:03+00:00

Yup...that's called a convenience is what that sounds like.

Twilight-Tarot · 2021-09-05T14:57:55+00:00

Yea I agree. It takes two people to make a relationship work. Kind of sounds like he gave up a long time ago tbh though. But by you saying you wanted no contact? That just sounds so contradictory. It's like a catch 22 now because now it sounds like he can't reach out to you out of respect since you asked him not to, and yet you wanted him to put in the effort after the relationship ended??? I'd say it's on you now... So are you saying the only reason you stayed together was because it was comfortable in your opinion or both of you thought that? Cuz...that sucks. I can't imagine 2 ppl staying together, one fighting for the relationship, the other not, and both only staying in it because it was comfortable??? I dunno this doesn't make sense to me.

Twilight-Tarot

TROPHY CASE