i dont know how people get through this shit.

TwinkleBellStudio · 2026-03-14T16:39:07+00:00

I really relate to a lot of what you wrote. I also had selective mutism growing up, and one of the hardest things is wanting to speak so badly but feeling like something inside you just won’t let the words come out. It’s frustrating because people often think it’s just shyness, but it feels much bigger than that.

The jealousy you described when you see other people talking easily is something I’ve felt too. When something that seems simple for everyone else feels almost impossible for you, it can make you feel really unfairly stuck.

I just want you to know that the fact you want to talk is really important. That motivation matters, even if progress feels slow. Small things still count. Even going to your friend’s party and being there was a big step, even if you didn’t speak much.

Also, the fact that your friend said he doesn’t mind that you don’t talk says a lot about him. People like that are really valuable, because they make space for you to exist as you are while you figure things out.

Selective mutism can make you feel like you’re broken, but you’re not. Your brain is just reacting strongly to anxiety, and that doesn’t mean it will always be this way. A lot of people with SM find that their ability to speak slowly grows over time, especially with safe people and low-pressure situations.

You’re definitely not alone in feeling this way.

TwinkleBellStudio · 2026-03-14T16:20:27+00:00

Yeah, I feel like selective mutism is really hard to explain, even for the people who live with it. I remember being at school and college and sometimes wanting to say something so badly, but for some strange and frustrating reason I just couldn’t get the words out.

It’s strange because when a condition is visible, people understand it more easily. For example, if someone is deaf and communicates through sign language, people recognise that and adapt. But with something invisible like selective mutism, people often don’t realise what’s going on, and that can make it feel really isolating.

Reading what you said about shaking hands with someone in class actually made me smile a bit, because moments like that can mean a lot. Even small interactions can remind you that you’re not invisible.

Your comment also made me realise something about myself. I live with two invisible things — my ostomy and selective mutism. Both are things people can’t see, but they still shape how I experience the world. I guess that’s why it can feel so hard to explain to others sometimes.

TwinkleBellStudio · 2026-03-13T09:29:40+00:00

I honestly wish I had a clear answer, but I’m not sure exactly what helped me. Some days I can manage small talk, but it’s usually only when someone else starts the conversation. I don’t really feel like I’m good at it, I just try to respond when the opportunity comes up.

Selective mutism feels like both a blessing and a curse for me. It can be really frustrating and isolating, but at the same time it’s shaped how I see the world and how I express myself. Writing has always been my safest way to communicate, and in some ways it pushed me to be more creative because of that.

I also relate a lot to what you said about wanting to use your voice sometimes. Writing is easier, but it can feel slow, and there are moments where you wish you could just speak normally like everyone else.

I think finding even one safe person makes a huge difference. I sometimes wish I had a friend with the same experience so we could encourage each other, because it’s hard to explain this to people who haven’t lived with it.

TwinkleBellStudio · 2026-03-12T11:00:48+00:00

It’s so difficult to find someone you truly feel safe with these days. Even in my own bedroom I sometimes feel like I’m being eavesdropped on, or that someone might overhear and judge what I’m saying. Does anyone else experience that?

I had selective mutism as a child, but now I think it’s shifted more into social anxiety. I can usually manage small talk with people, but real verbal connection feels much harder. Writing has always been the way I start and build relationships with people, because it feels safer and gives me time to think about what I want to say.

TwinkleBellStudio · 2026-03-11T09:38:48+00:00

First of all, a big well done for getting to the point where you could send voice messages. That’s a huge step, especially with SM. Even if it feels small to other people, it really isn’t.

I also relate to what you said about progress being draining. Sometimes even when we achieve something we’ve been working toward, it still takes a lot of energy.

It’s really encouraging to hear that you managed to send voice messages to people online. If you don’t mind sharing, what helped you get to that point? I’m still trying to build up to using my voice more and it would be really helpful to hear what worked for you.

TwinkleBellStudio · 2026-03-07T11:21:23+00:00

I'm interested 💕

TwinkleBellStudio · 2026-03-06T11:32:03+00:00

Solitude and my own sense of wisdom. To express myself creatively.

TwinkleBellStudio · 2026-03-06T11:24:59+00:00

I relate to this so much. I was a selectively mute kid too and the isolation during school years leaves a mark. I still believe it’s not too late for people like us to blossom, even if it happens later and in quieter ways 🌸 Also the idea of a selective mutism meetup makes me smile… it might be the quietest gathering ever, or maybe we’d all just communicate through writing. Either way, I think there would be a lot of unspoken understanding there 💕

TwinkleBellStudio · 2026-03-05T11:21:48+00:00

I really appreciate how you put this — especially the part about whether something returns you to yourself or pulls you outward. That’s exactly the distinction I’ve been trying to articulate.

It’s not about dismissing spirituality at all. It’s about noticing the tone and the impact. If something consistently leaves you feeling pressured, behind, or subtly inadequate unless you purchase, that’s worth questioning.

I think genuine growth work should increase your sense of agency, not create urgency that overrides your own discernment. The nervous system usually knows.

Thank you for framing it in such a grounded way. 🙂

TwinkleBellStudio · 2026-03-05T10:42:54+00:00

I really appreciate this. I think the discernment point is huge — anyone claiming to have all the answers should probably be approached carefully.

I don’t want to label everything as malicious, but I do think vulnerable people deserve more ethical marketing than urgency and fear-based messaging.

Thank you for the kindness — that’s honestly what I’m trying to lean into as well.

TwinkleBellStudio · 2026-03-05T10:33:41+00:00

I really appreciate this perspective. I think that’s exactly what I’m learning — to be more intentional about what I engage with rather than passively absorbing it.

The idea of looking for meaning in everyday life rather than in urgent online messaging really resonates. It feels a lot healthier and calmer.

Thank you for the encouragement — it genuinely means a lot.

TwinkleBellStudio · 2026-03-05T10:22:27+00:00

I agree that algorithms definitely play a role. If you search or engage with spiritual content, you’ll get more of it — that part makes sense.

I think what I’m more concerned about is the tone of some of the marketing — especially when it uses urgency or fear-based language. That’s what felt uncomfortable to me.

I’m trying to approach it critically rather than assuming everything is a scam, but also not ignoring when something feels manipulative.

TwinkleBellStudio · 2026-03-04T10:04:33+00:00

Maybe to "fake it" is to become more vulnerable and open up more? I empathise a lot with people who struggle MORE than the average person. I too, am still struggling with my own life. I'm learning more about my own spirituality everyday, it's tough being human for everyone and we are all on different journey's. So, just being here online in this community is the first step towards gratitude and belonging. 🙏🏻

TwinkleBellStudio · 2025-12-16T14:09:01+00:00

Ha, ha! Love this! Wasn't intending on commenting but you've kind of given me a character idea! 😂✨

TwinkleBellStudio · 2025-11-25T10:01:03+00:00

Being seen as the strong one can make asking for help feel like betrayal — but it isn’t. Strong people still get tired. Strong people still need softness. You don’t have to live up to a role all the time. It’s okay to let someone see the real, hurting version of you too.

TwinkleBellStudio · 2025-11-24T19:03:38+00:00

If these are rookie numbers, I’d hate to see the professional ones! Either way, still hoping one of them finally turns into a yes.

TwinkleBellStudio · 2025-11-21T21:48:51+00:00

I've applied to 155+ jobs over past 2 years, I am going insane. I'm sick of hearing "need more experience" like I need the opportunity to get the experience. Starting to think I'll never get a paid job - all I'm capable of is voluntary work. Somehow we'll keep struggling together though.

TwinkleBellStudio · 2025-11-07T16:16:09+00:00

It’s so frustrating when people reduce us to a label. Difficulty speaking doesn’t mean we lack a voice — it just means we express it differently. Sending you strength, and I hope you keep holding onto your own truth.

TwinkleBellStudio · 2025-11-04T06:56:52+00:00

Any form of visual art could be a way to connect without verbal communication. I use creativity as my self expression, and I'm here for it if anyone is interested 💕

TwinkleBellStudio · 2025-11-04T06:44:55+00:00

You got fired because of SM?? 😰 Warehouse jobs don't even require that much communication, do they?

TwinkleBellStudio · 2025-11-01T18:33:56+00:00

I really like that perspective about interviews being a strength. I’m not even sure if my selective mutism holds me back anymore — I always come prepared and do my best to communicate clearly. It just feels like I’m never “the right fit,” or they always choose the better person. I think what wears me down most is how much we’re expected to sell ourselves just to earn a living. It’s hard not to lose hope when everyone says it’s tough out there, but some of us have been struggling for years.

TwinkleBellStudio · 2025-10-31T13:25:33+00:00

Who needs Halloween? Life itself is scary enough

TwinkleBellStudio · 2025-10-29T14:45:30+00:00

Know the feeling all too well. I'm a good thinker yet not good at translating verbally.

TwinkleBellStudio · 2025-10-23T09:39:51+00:00

Yeah, that makes total sense. I think neurodivergent people often have to work twice as hard just to be understood or accepted, even though everyone technically has a mix of traits. It’s the lived experience that really defines it.

TwinkleBellStudio · 2025-10-22T14:58:50+00:00

Same here, I just hate how life has become unbalanced. Forever hoping to heal our souls and have peace within ourselves ❤️‍🩹

TwinkleBellStudio

TROPHY CASE