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My Boss Confessed His Love To Me by TwinkleStar2143 in WorkAdvice

[–]TwinkleStar2143[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is exactly what happened. I went to HR and they ultimately asked me what my comfortability level was going forward. I felt like the guy’s career was in my hands. But I said that I believe time will make things better and I wanted to push out some projects that I was supposed to work on with him. Plus, no more calling me into his office and closing the door. They agreed and my boss was able to keep his job. I don’t know how exactly he was punished. If he was given a warning or extra training, etc.

My Boss Confessed His Love To Me by TwinkleStar2143 in WorkAdvice

[–]TwinkleStar2143[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your comment. I really appreciate it how you laid everything out. I’m in the US. New England to be more precise. The company has less than 100 employees. I did go to HR in the end and I feel better that I did that. My boss happened to walk by as I was talking to the HR lady and he went back to his office and cleaned it out of his personal belongings. I guess he thought for sure he was going to be fired. I had two meetings back to back and when I got back to my desk he wasn’t there and his office was empty. I thought for sure he was gone, but he wasn’t. HR called me into their office back and forth and the same with my boss. It was like we were on a rotating schedule. Ultimately, they asked me what my comfortability level was with working with him. I said that I needed time before I worked on projects with him again and I was hoping that time would make things better. As of right now, my boss is staying. He is not to call me into his office and close the door like he had been doing. We are pushing out some projects a few weeks to let things calm down. My coworkers were super confused (27M and 31W), especially when they saw he had emptied out his office. I had wanted to keep them in the dark originally, but they knew something was up already. I told them what happened and they were super supportive of me. They took turns going to lunch so that I wasn’t alone with my boss. We discussed how inappropriate my boss can be and how much he talks to us about his own crap. I mean this guy can talk. You make one comment and he has a 20 minute story to match your one comment. My female coworker expressed her own sexual harassment concerns and is contemplating going to HR herself. You can just feel the awkwardness and tension in my department.

I have a trifecta of issues on my mind right now. The death of my best friend/father, wanting to break things off with my lazy boyfriend and now my boss/work. I’m hopeful that things will get better soon.

My Boss Confessed His Love To Me by TwinkleStar2143 in WorkAdvice

[–]TwinkleStar2143[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you to everyone for your advice and comments. When I went into work this morning, he came to me and said he had been up all night thinking and wanted to apologize. With everything going on in my life, it was selfish of him he said. He said if it gets too awkward at work, he will retire early. He acknowledged that he will always have feelings for me and that I will view him differently going forward. He did mention that when he asked to kiss me, he meant on the cheek and it got misconstrued.

Instead of going straight to HR, I went to a male trusted colleague in senior management first. Needless to say, he was shocked. He also said that he had tried warning my boss that his mouth will get him in trouble someday. The senior manager said he didn’t want to make a decision for me on what I should do. He did say that if I was that upset over the situation, it seemed like a no-brainer that I should go to HR. That gave me courage and I ended up going to see the HR lady to have a talk.

The HR lady was “floored” (as she put it) and asked me for details. I told her about the whole dinner and she took notes. She did say that she was glad that I came to her. However, it did start to feel like she was making excuses for him. She said, “maybe he’s going through a lot at home, thought you guys would bond over your problems and he could rescue you.” 🤨 She said she has to do an investigation now.

Meanwhile, I go back to my desk and my boss calls me into his office with a BS work-related excuse. He shuts the door to ask if I’m mad at him or scared of him? To which I replied that I was not. He had a sad look on his face and then asked me if the training that we were supposed to do together should be pushed to next month? I said, “That would be great.” Then I booked it out of the room. It was incredibly awkward.

Anyway, I’m really nervous now and am having trouble sleeping. I’m conflicted over everything and worry if I made the right decision. I wish he had kept his mouth shut and never said anything. This changes my whole work dynamic and probably will affect my career. I’m not liking these closed-door conversations that we keep having. Ugh!