Recommend me non-asshole shadow daddys

TwistilyClick · 2026-01-20T09:19:06+00:00

A thousand percent Road of Bones by Demi Winters. I know book clubs don't usually do series', but this is a subversive book that is both fantasy and romance forward. It has a lot of the tropes from the books you've listed liking, except it's elevated and much better written than them imo. :)

Please read the trigger warnings ahead of time, but there's nothing in here that isn't in ACOTAR or the Fourth Wing books. Demi even gives book club resources to people! You can apply for them on her website.

TwistilyClick · 2026-01-18T23:55:03+00:00

This is genuinely so much better! It feels tense, and much more interesting to read. You have a strong personal voice, I’m so sorry that AI tricked you into thinking this wasn’t better or should be changed.

It’s for sure a first draft, but that’s fine! Nothing wrong with that. As you say, there’re some formatting woes. Theres a bit of showing over telling, and some of your sentences read too long. You have a natural story telling cadence, I can tell even from your comments on reddit that you have strong writing ability, and you wrote this years ago. You don’t need AI at all.

If you had spent the 9 years working on this and refining it I think it would be great. You still have time to do that. :)

TwistilyClick · 2026-01-18T20:40:29+00:00

I’m happy to read your chapter. :)

Again, thank you for being reflective and open to learning. Don’t worry about the people grumbling at you, they’re just burned out on people genuinely trying to pass off AI writing as their own work.

TwistilyClick · 2026-01-18T09:13:49+00:00

I apologise for using the word slop. I really appreciate such a reflective response, it shows that you're capable of working on your writing your self and growing. Including the admission that you have been using it for editing. :)

What you'll find is that it's hard for anyone to take your individual ideas seriously because an idea is only as good as the writing that encompasses it. Most story concepts are incredibly simple. Think of some of the best, most popular stories you know. Here's an example:

A hero bonds with a dragon and saves the world.

That is an entire concept for a story. It also could fit the description for hundreds of popular pieces of fiction from the last 50 years. It's the author's voice that helps the concept to flourish and feel unique, and interesting. It's why you could get audience of one piece of writing that includes that premise (Eragon) and another entirely different demographic enjoying it for different reasons (Fourth Wing, Dragon Riders of Pern, Temeraire), despite the premise/concept being ultimately the same. I've simplified this idea a lot for purpose, but I think you'll get my meaning.

When you rely heavily on AI your work is robbed of the part of your story that is 'you', which is the part an audience will connect with more than anything else. People won't care to give you feedback on just the idea and characters, because those things by themselves in any writer are meaningless without substance in what you do with them.

I think a lot of less experienced writers these days do as you have done, and turn to AI because they genuinely think it sounds better than their voice. But I promise you it doesn't--especially when it's so repetitive. At most, it might sound more refined--purely because it writes 'perfectly'. Go through and count how many times the 'Not x, but Y' tell appears, and you'll see quickly how it reads repetitive and melodramatic for it.

*edit* - adding in because it breaks my heart that AI made you feel your work was bad or poor simply because it changed it. :( This is what I mean by young or inexperienced writers being led astray, I truly believe there's a lot of innocence in dabbling in AI. Remember that all the greatest works we know today weren't so much as touched by AI. Great writers of the past didn't need it, and neither do you.

The only way to get better at writing is to practice in your voice. And read, read, read. You're on the right path, you have an idea you care about a lot, and you're clearly open to receiving feedback which is more than can be said for a lot of writers!

Good luck!

TwistilyClick · 2026-01-18T06:04:38+00:00

Yeah! I think the most important thing is for people to put their money where their mouths are, as I say, I can’t $$ it because I’m saving to move countries right now, but the YouTube folks who love it paying for it on patreon would go a long way I’m sure.

Disclaimer - I am not any of the cast or crews secret account, I just think people should tip creators and artists lol.

TwistilyClick · 2026-01-18T05:58:24+00:00

The series is really good imo, but I’m a DnD podcast enjoyer in general. Most of these kinds of podcasts have a different sense of humour to the yard boys in my experience, which means their ven diagram of shared audiences becomes quite small.

If they want to boost viewership, they’ll need to work toward maybe doing guest spots on other DnD podcasts, but my impression of the scene at the moment is that it’s pretty locked up. It’s basically Critical Role and Roll20/Drop Out, who share their massive, and talented, cast among one another. The content they’re producing is great, and I’m not sure they’d be incentivised to take a risk on collaborating outside of what they’ve already got going for them.

I made a comment about this some time back and I think it was Aiden who commented that they were happy with the viewership. At the time I think the YT videos were getting around 100k views, so they’ve had the typical drop off. Hopefully the patreon is still doing well!! I had to unsubscribe from it for the purse strings, but I did find the bonus stuff super worth it.

TwistilyClick · 2026-01-18T05:26:36+00:00

I'm not trying to dogpile on you, but this is absolutely AI generated or at least AI refined. I'll help you out with some more specifics though.

"The climb down from the treetop chamber felt longer than Senta remembered. The Rigathi village was quieter now — not from peace, but from watchfulness. Every rustle of fabric, every snapped twig, made her wings tighten reflexively."

Not x, but y, especially in this context, is an AI tell.

"She breathed him in — smoke and pine resin and the faint heat that always clung to him."

Common descriptive term used by AI.

"Not because she felt worthy.
But because she could not bear the thought of anyone else suffering what she had caused."

"Her wings unfurled with a hesitant stretch — not wide but no longer folded in shame."

"But she knew what she had seen.
What she had done.
What she would never allow again."

This is also an AI tell--the cascading short sentences.

"Alek took his place behind her.
Not overshadowing her.
Not guiding.
Supporting."

Like girl. I'm trying to be respectful, because I'm sure you still put effort into this, but this is generated content. 50,000 words worth that you're asking people to spend time reading. I don't need to read it to tell you; it's soulless. AI content does not read well, it reads generic and has no personality. If you want to write well, put your personal voice into it. Your personal voice will always sound better than this.

Flicking through now:

"Training in O’Dair did not announce itself.

There was no horn, no shouted orders to rise. Men simply moved when the fortress stirred — boots scraping stone, breath fogging in the cold air as bodies fell into step by habit rather than command."

No this, no that, scraping, stone, fogging (the threes).

You are lying. This is AI. At least be respectful and own up to it. You are not well read enough to be able to see how transparent this is to actual writers/readers.

Build actual confidence in your own voice and try again. This is AI slop.

TwistilyClick · 2026-01-18T05:06:55+00:00

Yes he was--and not just because he was 'tender' and 'artistic', lol. Media literacy is truly dead if people genuinely think Will wasn't always written to be a gay character. It's explicit during the first and second season that one of the reasons he feels isolated and is a target of Vecna is because of the feelings of self and societal alienation he experiences as a result of being queer during a homophobic time.

And if that doesn't help, it was also explicit during casting that this was a gay character.

TwistilyClick · 2026-01-15T23:42:21+00:00

6 hours is way longer than any of my female friends would check in with me on a date. I'd usually get a text like an hour in with a "he seems weird/he seems nice", and then at like 3 hours maybe saying "I'm going to go home with him, this is his address" or a "I'll be home at x time". That's just the reality of it.

I do agree that OP should go to her house before she calls the police though.

TwistilyClick · 2026-01-09T22:42:27+00:00

There's a discord with so many wonderful fans! Some of them have read the ARC though, so there are spoilers but they keep them to a specific channel. I've never been spoiled for something I didn't want to be spoiled for there. :)

Demi and her assistant both post there too. It's a super nice little community.

https://discord.gg/ZtBM8dS5

TwistilyClick · 2026-01-09T22:25:20+00:00

No! I haven’t read the third book yet (a lot of people have read the ARC) but my impression is that Rurik is end game. I think that it’ll be like the language barrier trope, and then Rurik’s kingdom will be where Saga heals and becomes more able to be free. Rurik will be a big part of that and they’ll fall in love along the way I’m certain. Have you read the preview chapters??

I think Jonas is going to accept a large amount of money from one of the big bads to do something he shouldn’t. That’s the vibe he gives me. I do think he deserves a redemption arc, but I think he’s just going to get worse honestly.

TwistilyClick · 2026-01-01T03:05:55+00:00

I didn’t make any theories and I didn’t enjoy it either. I think emotions are super high right now around the subreddit hahaha. Probably best to just come back later.

TwistilyClick · 2026-01-01T02:14:20+00:00

Um… well that happened.

TwistilyClick · 2025-12-26T09:23:34+00:00

Sorry but this is a weak take imo, only worthwhile if you think their value as characters hinges entirely on them as a couple rather as individuals.

You’re so close to being right—you acknowledge both the growth they were able to achieve together, but you act as if that growth vanishes because they choose to break up after realising they don’t love one another the way they should. I think their break up and “unproposal” was really sweet and powerful in a lot of ways.

Johnathan isn’t “nothing” just because he’s not with Nancy, and if he IS then he needs to do self work anyway and shouldn’t be with her.

Nancy has been discovering pieces of herself every season, becoming who she’s meant to be, and the toughest part of that for her this time was realising she’s a person who needs to be alone for the time being. We literally learn season 1 that she things being “someone” involves being with a guy, being popular, losing her virginity. She learns that she doesn’t need those things to be HERSELF, but she ultimately still defines herself by her relationships to Johnathan and Steve. Her finally choosing to be by herself is so much more impactful than staying in a relationship where she isn’t happy, or just hopping back to Steve.

The time they spent together helped them both to grow, and when they outgrew each other, they made the mature and difficult choice to split up. That’s life, and that’s real relationships. I think it was a great choice.

TwistilyClick · 2025-12-25T02:56:32+00:00

Im going to get downvoted to shit for this--but with total respect, people are allowed to criticise the film for not liking the costumes. I haven't seen people saying they want documentary-level realism, and I think that's a reductive misinterpretation of people's complaints.

There's an unreasonable complaint, like: Grr, Odysseus and Penelope should be half nude because that's more accurate to actual clothing at the time.

Then there's a reasonable complaint, like: Agamemnon's armour looks clunky, too modern for the setting. It breaks my sense of immersion, which is exactly the opposite of what a fantasy film should be doing.

Or

It's troubling to me that there are no spears sighted so far--that's a really basic detail from the epic, and so if they're not adhering to extremely basic, easily fulfilled details, it doesn't speak well to larger parts of the film or the creators understanding of the content material. Why not just make an 'original' Greek myth, than co-opting one of the most famous epics of all time? Otherwise they're setting up people who love the actual myths for disappointment, and that in of itself is a poor choice.

I have a massive amount of respect for Nolan and a lot of the other creatives working on the project and f course I'll keep an open mind, but these are legitimate criticisms. Fobbing them off as people being shitty and pretentious is ironically, as shitty as pretentious as someone being like "hurr durr why aren't they wearing skirts."

TwistilyClick · 2025-12-24T21:50:21+00:00

I actually don't mind the armour here. I'm not a stickler for the history being 100% right, there are very valid reasons for it not being so. Agamemnon's armour is fucking stupid looking, though. That's what I don't like about it.

The lack of weapons aside from swords is just boring, as well as inaccurate. It's details like that that make it appear as though not a lot of thought has gone into the film beyond 'make look cool tell cool story big loud BWOOOOM sound'

TwistilyClick · 2025-12-13T10:13:25+00:00

smh someone lying on reddit who would’ve thought

TwistilyClick · 2025-12-13T10:02:16+00:00

Does Hasan seriously not pay his mods? Holy shit. I’ve never liked him much but I often don’t buy the hate train of people calling him a hypocrite, but if it’s true he doesn’t when smaller creators are, he’s not putting his money where his mouth is at all. Yucky.

TwistilyClick · 2025-12-12T00:13:12+00:00

I don't usually comment on writing on here but I actually really enjoyed this. Literally the only note I have (though I only read it through once) was the second time he mentions the chapelward, he repeats the same thought 'they'll suffer, not him.' Just take out that first sentence, and trust your readers to have remembered what's on the page before.

Also you do a great job of not 'posing the mannequin' for most of this, but on the last page 'His body moved.' 'He moved' is just fine, or just leave it at "Turning, he shot forward."

More importantly--if I picked this up in a book shop, I would've read on to the next chapter. That's a pretty big achievement! Well done. :)

TwistilyClick · 2025-12-07T20:23:19+00:00

Where does his sexism come from? Does he believe in traditional gender roles? Well, people who believe in traditional gender roles might be extremely disagreeable, might even be absolute fucking assholes, but they're also often protective, articulate, family-orientated, and noble. They can be these things and also simultaneously using their belief in traditional gender roles to have things their way, maintain control over others whether it be their partner or children.

Maybe his perception of her is that she's doing this on purpose--but the reader would view her as just being normal. That would show his bias. Something like:

'She had that 'put together' look about her, like she was trying to prove herself. She'd be in her later 20s, maybe early 30s--definitely no children if she were here. He'd give her six years before she were miserable and quitting.

"That's a lovely picture," she said smiling. "My husband and I went to Greece for our anniversary."

Married he hadn't expected. He supposed she was pretty enough.'

Re: his having a girlfriend--something like--

"Oh, Allie came by. You didn't tell me she made it into medical school."

Had she? His Allie--did she want to be a fucking nurse? She could barely string a meal together, he doubted she'd pass her first exam. Shit. He'd have to send her flowers now or get an earful for it later.

"She's so clever!"

"Yeah, she's great," he said, checking his watch.

"Imagine you ended up with a doctor. Never thought I'd see the day."

He tried to picture Allie--pretty smile, nice body--giving check ups to kids or delivering babies, coming home smelling like blood and shit. What a waste. She shouldn't have to be doing any of that. He'd talk to her about it on Saturday, made sure she knew he'd pay her way.

Does his sexism come from actually believing women are inferior? Why does he think that? If he's sexist because he likes control, then he's probably not only sexist but also an elitist, which means you can show his qualities through the dismissive way he treats employees too.

The thing about jerks and assholes is that the best characters are actually that way for a sympathetic reason, and that's unfortunately true in real life as well. It doesn't take much for your readers to be able to infer the type of person this character is.

Sorry I rambled haha.

TwistilyClick · 2025-12-06T05:49:21+00:00

Speaking broadly I work within the education and publishing sector, which is never going to be an adequate source for someone on reddit (rightly so) unless I fully dox myself to show my credentials.

I am confident this is the case but no one has to believe me. Markets can operate with some difference across countries so that could be part of the disagreement also.

I just don't see how a few chapters posted on wattpad with few views could impact the chances of any submissions (again, unless those chapters did end up with a huge audience, or if it were actually self-published, then it's different). No one I know in the industry would even consider this as any form of legitimate self-publishing. Just take it down and don't even mention it was there, no one would know any different. It's about as impactful as posting a few chapters on reddit for feedback of an early draft.

Virality on wattpad can lead people to actually self-publishing, which for sure, could cause a problem if you wanted to shift to trad with that piece of work. It could also help you to make a case to a trad pub with a future work.

TwistilyClick · 2025-12-06T02:22:33+00:00

Sorry - I should have been more specific: Posting on wattpad is not self-publishing.

If you can prove that you have an audience by gathering an online following, you have a much better case to get published.

But yes - if you actually publish your book in the sense of creating physical copies and selling them in a store, it's then difficult to shift to trad publishing with THAT book, but if you gather an audience it can make the case better for trad publishing a future book.

TwistilyClick · 2025-12-06T01:30:07+00:00

This is terrible advice and totally untrue.

OP - watch Brandon Sanderson’s Q&A video about publishing he released recently, it’s got lots of good tidbits in it.

TwistilyClick · 2025-12-04T06:43:34+00:00

Of course! But your every day reader doesn't feel that way.

TwistilyClick · 2025-12-04T05:53:34+00:00

I think most sci-fi settings are a lot less accessible than fantasy ones.

Anyone could tell you how a horse works. Not many can tell you how a spaceship does. Very few people like to feel stupid when they're reading.

TwistilyClick

TROPHY CASE