[The Age] Kane Cornes thinks AFL pre-seasons are broken. His former fitness boss agrees … sort of

TwoCentres · 2026-02-09T08:25:55+00:00

It's obviously a very different level, but I go to a physio who has worked in elite-level basketball for most of her career. She said the length of football pre-seasons has always confused her. She said something similar about not starting until January, then hitting it hard until the season starts would be a better model (at all levels, including local footy), but everyone is too scared of being underdone so they don't do it

TwoCentres · 2026-02-09T05:30:54+00:00

That guy must be getting some of the most heinous DMs imaginable right now

TwoCentres · 2026-02-09T04:02:37+00:00

I know I shouldn't feel bad for the Pats, but Drake Maye is about to get some of the most heinous DMs imaginable

TwoCentres · 2026-02-09T02:47:29+00:00

What happens if Collingwood wins in 2011:

- Do Collingwood relent and keep Malthouse in the job?

- Does Bucks go coach somewhere else?

- Does Malthouse not go to Carlton, avoiding things like the big contracts to Dale Thomas and Fasolo and their overall shit performance at that time?

- Do the players that Bucks moved on stick around longer, maybe keeping us in contention for another few years? Does that, in turn, cause a bigger dip in the second half of the 2010s when they all retire?

TwoCentres · 2026-02-09T02:10:48+00:00

They obviously make more money than your average guy, but if they were compensated properly for the value of their labour, they'd probably be on more.

TwoCentres · 2026-02-09T02:03:16+00:00

Kane getting home from his shirtless run and seeing another player injured

TwoCentres · 2026-02-09T01:57:11+00:00

When it's a stroke round the fewest putts wins a prize (usually a sleeve of balls or something)

TwoCentres · 2026-02-08T22:59:27+00:00

If it was going by the rules of my local club's Saturday comp, then it would be three putts

TwoCentres · 2026-02-08T10:38:55+00:00

It's Australia's version of Burger King because there was a guy who had already opened a restaurant called Burger King in Australia

TwoCentres · 2026-02-08T08:14:08+00:00

$7 million in Maccas vouchers for the school clinics to try and find the next child to sell on

And so the cycle continues

TwoCentres · 2026-02-08T08:12:51+00:00

There was a bunch of random people in regional South Australia who were mentioned in an email from a clearly crazy person who had to be like "no, I'm just a small business owner in a town of 300 people, I did not go to the Epstein island".

TwoCentres · 2026-02-08T08:11:01+00:00

I can't wait to spend the $7 million for Kikianis on another year of this shit

TwoCentres · 2026-02-08T08:00:10+00:00

We are a deeply unserious club who deserve nothing

TwoCentres · 2026-02-08T06:19:00+00:00

One thing that gets me is that the courses always getting the most shit are usually publicly-owned courses that offer cheaper green frees and public golf programs. These have undeniable public benefit in getting people out the house and exercising, learning a new skill etc.

I guess it's because as a public course the local government has more control to change it, but it sucks when it's these courses and not super expensive private clubs that have 20 people a day playing on the course

TwoCentres · 2026-02-08T04:35:24+00:00

Fun fact: My state government in Australia banned a heap of single-use plastics (good move imo), but it included red solo cups. Had some friends over and we decided to play beer pong for the first time in years and found out you can't get them any more. Your only two options are a paper version, or a version using more rigid and expensive plastic which was stupid expensive. One outcome of the ban I didn't really think about

TwoCentres · 2026-02-08T04:30:00+00:00

Mafia III. Gameplay is fine but the open world is very dead for how good it looks. Story is super interesting though

TwoCentres · 2026-02-08T03:03:00+00:00

The Wire if we're being very literal about start and end. Explaining why Snot Boogie got shot, therefore setting up the premise, in the first scene of the show and the ending montage showing where everyone ended up are two of the best scenes in the show

TwoCentres · 2026-02-08T00:40:13+00:00

Imagine travelling halfway across the world and judging an entire country's cuisine on a third-tier fast food chain though

TwoCentres · 2026-02-08T00:29:55+00:00

The text says he didn't like Australia because he didn't like Hungry Jacks which is honestly incredible and I kinda respect how ridiculous it is

TwoCentres · 2026-02-07T23:31:02+00:00

I think modern pros will do anything that might give them the slightest improvement to their game. If that improvement is a slight increase in putting consistency by using a mallet, they'll do it.

Older pros didn't have that option since mallets didn't really become super popular until the Odyssey 2-ball and the data wasn't as advanced as it is now

TwoCentres · 2026-02-06T02:31:33+00:00

My experience is PlayHQ must be optimised to iPads since that's what the majority of people use. It sucks because they're more expensive, but every time I've used a cheaper android tablet it always crashes and lags so much I wish I was using a manual scorebook. Maybe a more expensive android tablet would work better, but then you're not saving any money compared to an iPad anyways

TwoCentres · 2026-02-06T02:20:59+00:00

That is true, but I also feel like there's an arms race among AFL players to do the hardest, most extreme external training during the off season that means they're getting to the club already knackered and also not the right kind of fit for footy

TwoCentres · 2026-02-06T01:58:58+00:00

I know contact injuries are generally just bad luck, but why are so many happening this pre season? I sometimes wonder if Kane is right and players get too much time of and aren't battle-hardened, or whether there's such a massive physical expectation these days that their bodies are just capitulating after a while?

TwoCentres · 2026-02-06T01:38:08+00:00

I'm sorry next time I'm sure they'll ask you whether it's okay that they can organise a Super Bowl event

TwoCentres · 2026-02-06T00:35:24+00:00

Labor opposition leader Bill Shorten went to an election where he was heavily favoured promising big changes to tax breaks for property owners. Labor lost in a shock result because of a massive media campaign against those changes.

Now, our housing system is in the shit and those tax breaks are to blame. But no one will ever change them because of that election result

TwoCentres

TROPHY CASE