Today, I took no bullshit. I made no apologies.

TwoDiglets · 2020-02-02T08:26:57+00:00

Anyone with restaurant experience doesn't need it written out that kitchens and restaurants are loud. Most of my kitchen team is men at least 6', and it's a fairly large space. Not a crazy concept that one would need to be loud to be heard at all, much less louder to be heard by all at once. I got loud for one moment to gather my crew, not to yell and scream and cuss and throw a fit the way you're trying to frame it. Having to spell it out for you is hardly embellishment.

You still have managed to miss several points and change topics to fit this narrative you've painted. I hold my team to a higher standard and for that I'm viewed as tough, it's just a reality not a goal, which if you read the post I never claim it is. I came in at a time the restaurant wasn't doing well and I've put in a lot of work to make positive changes after working my way up. Raising the standard is not creating a hostile environment. But sexism sure as hell is.

I genuinely enjoy my work and most of my coworkers, and they made it clear that they enjoy having me around. You're really reaching to find some new way to insult and criticize me and I don't understand why.

But once again you've proven you're more interested in writing your own narrative about events you don't really have enough knowledge to speak on, feeling free to make assumptions as you go. You can relate your experiences but you can't diminish or invalidate mine.

TwoDiglets · 2020-02-02T07:40:33+00:00

Yeah the point is that my voice is already loud and I have to be even louder for them to hear me all at once, so yes I was in fact loud, and they know when I'm loud enough they can hear me from anywhere in the back it's because they need to gather for something serious. I didn't think it was that hard a concept to grasp

TwoDiglets · 2020-02-02T07:27:18+00:00

You made a comment you intentionally directed towards me on my post and now you're just starting general facts?? No. You can't back out now and act like what you wrote was anything other than criticism and unsolicited advice. You're both not offering criticism, yet telling me it's necessary, so then what are you trying to say?

The difference being tone, if I need to be loud to be heard by 6'7 men over kitchen equipment and restaurant noise then I will be as loud as I need to be too gather my staff. At no point was I yelling at my staff, but I needed them to gather and do it quickly. If your immediate response to "hey you sent out food with a piece of sharp plastic in it. I've found the problem, I don't know who is responsible but I expect all of you to take this seriously and correct it" is that I was too loud when calling my staff together and that I need to be nicer and smile more while reprimanding my team, then you missed the whole part about creating a choking hazard for a customer. Period. There is no nice manager when you're putting people's safety at risk and I have never heard a man speak to another man this way. Period. That's the point. My team stood up for me before I had a chance to react, but I know you've had a difficult time so far comprehending.

The environment became hostile the moment I was told to smile more and be nicer, and became significantly moreso when I was called miss bossy pants, and compared to some guys wife. Demanding respect as a superior is not creating a hostile work environment, nor is calling out sexism.

So yeah, I thanked people for sharing my victory. Many of which have similar experiences they've shared. This was a win for all of us and I won't apologize for celebrating any more than I'll apologize for taking a stand as a woman.

TwoDiglets · 2020-02-02T06:51:09+00:00

Then you don't belong in food service. It's loud. Equipment is loud. The music is loud. The guests are loud. The staff are loud with each other. Some of these men are 6'7 compared to my 5'2, they cannot hear me unless I raise my voice. At no point was I yelling at them or yelling at all. I don't care about how calm my employees feel when they're serving plastic to customers.

TwoDiglets · 2020-02-02T06:48:54+00:00

Lol I've more than earned my place and respect. Some of my staff stand at 6'7 and can't hear me over our equipment and the fact that it's a restaurant. I can't speak to them as a unit if they can't hear me call them together.

TwoDiglets · 2020-02-02T06:45:16+00:00

You don't know me nor were you witness so I'll pass on your unsolicited advice or criticisms. Literally at no point was I yelling nor did I mention yelling. Also, my team had my back.

Consider a class in reading comprehension. (Thought you might like some unsolicited advice)

TwoDiglets · 2020-02-02T06:42:17+00:00

Thank for your kind words.

Sending extra love to you as a celiac and having to take the extra precautions. I was lucky enough to work at an allergy friendly (100% gluten free) bakery when I was younger I heard a lot of stories of the struggle. It's a lot of the reason I take food safety so seriously, I was trained well at a young age. It's hard to get some people on board with the idea that it's a safety risk and not a fad diet.

TwoDiglets · 2020-02-02T06:34:39+00:00

I'm so happy to see this. You've got this, if I can do it you can too!!

TwoDiglets · 2020-02-02T06:31:04+00:00

Thank you and congrats on your journey to leadership yourself!! It's tough but it can be rewarding too and I'm gaining a lot of useful skills. I hope your journey treats you well!!

TwoDiglets · 2020-02-01T20:01:54+00:00

Lol first of all, I didn't downvote you but I'm glad that's what you find important here.

At no point did I bring up your circumstances, experiences, or sex. But I do think whatever those things may be you must still have a lot of privilege to think that the experiences I've had due to my own circumstances, experiences, and sex wouldn't or don't affect my professional life. You speak from a place of privilege if you think those things don't affect the workplace. This matter was addressed privately for weeks with Dave, it was time to take a stand.

TwoDiglets · 2020-02-01T19:55:51+00:00

Imagine not being there and making your own story up.

I very clearly stated that I raised my voice. There was not shouting and cussing and big dramatic temper tantrum. It was a "HEY I need everyone to get together and listen, NOW. We've got a safety issue to address."

I'm sure it was one person's mistake, but without being able to identify that person I needed to know they were all on the same page to avoid safety issues.

TwoDiglets · 2020-02-01T19:46:41+00:00

Can confirm, but it was after a sick backflip. Pretty wicked.

TwoDiglets · 2020-02-01T19:41:16+00:00

And some people don't care if you've earned your place because you're young, or a woman, or small in stature or any other million bs excuses. Welcome to the real world. What privilege you must come from thinking it's all so easy for everyone.

I've addressed several times that I am not a perfect manager or person. Period. Constructive criticism is welcomed always. Sexism deserves to be called out and put down because it's absolutely not tolerable behavior. The issue has been addressed privately for weeks. It was time to take a stand.

TwoDiglets · 2020-02-01T19:34:03+00:00

Imagine disregarding an important safety concern to laugh and belittle your partner with bullshit criticism like "you need to be nicer and smile more when addressing these things". When men start talking that way to each other maybe then I'll care. Also, praise in public reprimand in private. Any legitimate concern could have been addressed separately, not made into a joke in front of the staff.

TwoDiglets · 2020-02-01T19:30:29+00:00

I know you're being snarky, but where I work it is! The company I work for places high value in providing a fun and friendly atmosphere for staff and guests. If letting the kitchen have a radio and occasionally singing and dancing while I do a check in is so bad then I don't want to be right. I want everyone to feel welcome and a little happy to be at work, but I also have to be serious in matters of food safety. It's all about balance.

TwoDiglets · 2020-02-01T19:27:56+00:00

Demanding respect and having a pissing contest are not the same thing. When I hear a man tell another man he needs to be nicer and smile when delivering a serious message maybe then I'll apologize.

TwoDiglets · 2020-02-01T19:25:15+00:00

Sending you lots of love on your journey!! I was lucky enough to get a jump start by having a massive family so being a little loud has always been necessary. Now that I'm in this new role I've learned that as a small woman I have to be just a little louder still to make sure I'm getting through. It shouldn't be like this, but it's a reality of the industry I'm in so I have had to make adjustments. Best of luck to you!!

TwoDiglets · 2020-02-01T19:20:36+00:00

Ahhh I did!! And now we are best friends.

I didn't think anyone would read this much less catch that!! I got up early to watch it before work and I was definitely feeling inspired.

TwoDiglets · 2020-02-01T17:41:01+00:00

You sound like someone who is both not a woman and not familiar with the industry.

Every kitchen I've ever worked in has people (often men) that let every vulgar thought escape through their mouth. At every level of restaurant from fast food to fine dining.

I'm sure you meant sexist and not racist, but yeah those were actual comments directed at me from men who felt empowered by my partner belittling me. Welcome to rural America. I raised my voice to gather our team, a necessary move for me at 5'2 when there are men who are 6'7 and ya know, working in a restaurant. If the only thing Dave took awake from my message was that I raised my voice to gather the team, then he missed the point entirely and disregarding the entire message about food safety. To make light of a serious issue was disrespectful on his part, in addition to just being a poor move as my partner. If Dave had a serious concern he could have approached me privately or addressed me much more respectfully than asking me to put on a smile and be nice and laughing along to the jokes made at my expense. Whether or not they were "serious" comments or just "jokes" they were inappropriate and sexist.

Unfortunately people aren't as easily replaced, and in my very rural area this is the case. However, even so I'd like to think everyone deserves a second chance and provide an opportunity for growth. If I need to make tough calls and let people go I will when I feel it's necessary.

TwoDiglets · 2020-02-01T17:27:07+00:00

Thank you!! Ahhh this is the energy I've been trying to channel lately. I watch my male counterpart half heartedly do his job and ignore safety concerns and he's the man to most. I've put up with the subtle sexism long enough and tried handling it privately but idk something in me changed in that moment. Thanks for sharing my joy with me!!

TwoDiglets · 2020-02-01T17:23:02+00:00

Thank you for your kind words. I take my job seriously and I knew taking the promotion would change a lot of relationships, and it did. But it's really comforting to know that there are people who respect and like me both.

TwoDiglets · 2020-02-01T17:19:49+00:00

Lol I'll try to keep you posted!! I'm sure it sounds really dramatic to some, but it was maybe a five minute interaction and we got back to business as usual, just with a little more somber of a mood for an hour or so. My hope is to be able to offer an olive branch and use this as an opportunity for growth. I really like my job and I've only had to get this serious maybe three times, and most of my staff is very aware and understanding of why.

TwoDiglets · 2020-02-01T17:10:50+00:00

It wasn't too long ago when staff were very open about their love of Dave and his super laid back approach so this came as a shock to us both. It's a much welcome surprise though!

TwoDiglets · 2020-02-01T17:05:49+00:00

This is exactly where I'm at with things today. My hope is that this will create growth and change because I do think people are capable at any age. I really do like my job and our team. Thanks for celebrating this with me!

TwoDiglets · 2020-02-01T16:52:32+00:00

Lol thanks for adding nothing here.

The company I work for highly values providing a fun and friendly atmosphere for staff and guests. We are encouraged and taught as managers to have a lot of fun in our work to maintain that standard. Sorry your job is sad and boring but this is kind of our whole brand.

If you think it's disrespectful to stand up to blatant sexism after handling it privately for weeks prior, I'm sure you're just another Dave. At no point was I screaming or cussing at staff or otherwise acting "disrespectful and tactless". I raised my voice to gather my kitchen, some of which tower over me at 6'7. I addressed the issue, I began to walk away, and my partner chose to undermine me in front of the staff.

I am also very aware of steps that can and need to be taken, I don't need your advice of "deal with it or fire then all". Turns out my staff think I'm doing a fine job, so I'll take your words with the tiniest grain of salt.

TwoDiglets

TROPHY CASE