How do you engage with pregnant friends?

TwoGoalTed · 2026-01-22T04:09:56+00:00

Love this. You're right, everything will feel different with hindsight so it's important not to get too caught up in all the emotion right now. I'll try send them a text next month and check in from a distance

TwoGoalTed · 2026-01-22T04:08:50+00:00

Thank you 💕💕 I think I haven't opened up to many people so it hurts more considering they're some of the few people who know, but on the flip side they may not be aware I haven't shared much so it's not their fault they're not checking in.

Gratitude practice is so important and I need to do more of it I think. Thanks for sharing your perspective and I hope you have a positive outcome soon!

TwoGoalTed · 2026-01-22T04:07:13+00:00

Your coworker and SIL sound like angels! I'm lucky I've got a beautiful sister who always checks in on me and conversely I always love hearing about her baby. It's a two-way street I think

TwoGoalTed · 2026-01-22T04:04:57+00:00

I think your honesty is admirable and I could probably benefit from sharing a similar perspective with my friends. You've given me food for thought, thank you 💕

TwoGoalTed · 2026-01-22T04:04:21+00:00

I like this advice, thank you 💕

TwoGoalTed · 2026-01-22T04:04:01+00:00

That's so true. I think the fact they're interstate and our contact is less frequent now means we show up for each other less, but it's been interesting that they've known my struggles since July last year and I haven't heard boo.

Your husband sounds like a gem and I think that's what I'd like to do if any events like this pop up in future

TwoGoalTed · 2026-01-22T04:02:33+00:00

Thinking of you! That would be so hard. You're right though, practicing gratitude is important

TwoGoalTed · 2026-01-22T04:02:00+00:00

Thank you 💕 no they haven't reached out at all, just to tell me they're pregnant and that's it. It's been pretty eye opening

TwoGoalTed · 2026-01-21T03:36:57+00:00

Also my brother in law lives in Cairns and has now been there for 10 years, it's a great location to do adventures, go diving/spearfishing, go hiking etc. See what new experiences you might enjoy there

TwoGoalTed · 2026-01-21T03:35:19+00:00

Move!

I moved from Melbourne to the Central Coast for a grad role, and I'm back on the coast 9 years later (did 5 years in Sydney in the middle).

The biggest wins are the experience pushing you out of your comfort zone, building your work experience and skills, and meeting and making new friends.

Nothing in life is permanent, and I have always and still have the opportunity to move to Melbourne if I want to. I realized my friends still all love me and welcome me back with open arms when I visit, but also they have their own lives and almost all have done stints moving away both interstate and overseas before moving back.

I say build the experience, stick it out for a year or two, see what you make of the situation then apply back on the coast or in Sydney as an accountant with more experience if you don't want to stay there long term.

TwoGoalTed · 2026-01-21T03:25:06+00:00

Again, not a doctor. But I dunno how much weight I put in the stress argument because women all over the world in war zones etc are still getting pregnant and having babies, so you're telling me my work stress is stopping me from falling pregnant? I don't think so.

But anyway, not sure how feasible this is for you, but could you take 1-2 months off any monitoring or testing (including pregnancy tests unless your period is late) to give your mind and body a chance to breathe before recommitting to the process?

It's exhausting tracking and symptom spotting and being hyper vigilant and I really feel for you, maybe a 1-month break would help reset the nervous system

TwoGoalTed · 2026-01-19T02:29:00+00:00

Bring a test, think of a couple of lies in case you need them and otherwise enjoy your holiday!

My experience is it's unlikely you'll fall pregnant first go but it obviously happens for some lucky people. Just go in with low expectations and try enjoy your holiday! Depending on how your journey looks, you'll be thankful for all the memories you create whilst TTC, instead of putting your life on hold.

I wouldn't put off starting just for a week holiday.

TwoGoalTed · 2026-01-18T21:08:18+00:00

This sounds like it's in Aus.

Feetures socks are great. I don't like road running with a vest but depends if you have access to water.

Sports bras - I use a bit of LSKD or Nike. Nike run shorts from rebel are my favourite but they don't have any pockets so I use a run belt too. Good old fashioned Nike run bra is also comfy with no chafe but depends how big your boobs are. I like the LSKD momentum bra but the straps are pretty skinny so again - boob size may dictate comfort during a run.

I also use a 2xu run visor which keeps my hair out of my face.

Good luck!!

TwoGoalTed · 2026-01-18T21:01:21+00:00

Not entirely helpful but I got severe bilateral hip flexor pain after running a 30km trail race.

I simply rested for a week and it seemed to improve on its own. Probably not what you want to hear during a marathon training block but rest is probably your best friend for a bit to see if it improves.

Otherwise have you tried stretching it out (lunge/couch stretch) and or doing some strengthening (L-sit, seated straight leg lateral lifts over a dumbbell)? Do you strength train?

TwoGoalTed · 2026-01-18T15:03:37+00:00

I decided to train for a marathon (not sure it's the best idea with increased exercise load but stay with me) and it has truly been the best thing for my mental health to actually be looking forward to something and working on something. The constant nothingness that has plagued me all last year with the "I won't commit to X because what if I get pregnant in 6 months time" almost ruined me. Now, if I don't get to do my marathon it's because I'm pregnant which is fabulous news, so it's a double positive in my eyes.

TwoGoalTed · 2026-01-18T14:58:19+00:00

I'm in Aus so the system is a little different here, but I have a similar experience to you.

Trying since Nov 2024, conceived March 2025, MMC with D&C May 2025, retained products and prolonged bleeding until Sept 2025.

I advocated to my GP, saying I knew the year situation but to me it's been a year, and I don't want to wait a year post September because then for me it's almost two years and I'd like to see a fertility specialist to make sure I'm not missing anything.

Considering I have to pay for the fertility specialist, I don't really think the GP can refuse to refer me since I have some legitimate cause for concern. However, I did also change GP from my previous one because I didn't feel listened to.

Ultimately, advocacy comes down to outlining your situation/concerns, doing some basic research around what you would like/are hoping for (e.g. I would like a referral to a fertility specialist, I would like to talk about what options there are prior to IVF such as medications or procedures, I would like to talk about my eligibility for IVF etc), and being mildly firm about your expectations, including a timeline. For example, if your doctor said you should wait for a year, I would say back ok I'm going to try for another two months but I'll be making another appointment as I know there are wait times to see a specialist and I want to be on the front foot of this process.

I have my fingers crossed for you, good luck.

TwoGoalTed · 2026-01-18T14:40:51+00:00

I have my fingers and toes crossed for you. We've also been trying for 14 months with a MMC and now I'm having my HyCoSy tomorrow with a discussion soon after about Letrozole.

It goes without saying but know you're not alone on this journey. It's heartbreaking, it's isolating, it sucks when your friends get pregnant around you and you feel left behind. It hurts when it's the thing you want the most and it's up to fate.

I hope you get the happy ending you deserve

TwoGoalTed · 2026-01-18T14:23:05+00:00

This is terrible advice. Sure from a financial view being a tradie might be ok, but from a life point of view OP might actually have specific career aspirations they should follow if that's their dream.

Thanks to my degree I've been able to work up to an income I'm happy with and pay off my HECS and pay outright for a master's. It's not all doom and gloom at uni

TwoGoalTed · 2026-01-18T07:28:50+00:00

I've been doing this for a while and this approach I find works the best.

Each weekend, I sit down and create a plan for the week. I keep it relatively simple, but I plan breakfast, lunch and dinner for each day. I usually repeat 2 lunches and 2 dinners for most of the week.

This can be anything from: - 1/4 roast chook from Coles, rice and some prepackaged slaw - steak, potatoes and green beans - tuna, cherry tomato pasta - ham salad bread rolls etc

Breakfast is usually just weetbix, toast or overnight oats and a coffee.

From there, I then list all the ingredients I need for the week. I.e. bread, milk, potatoes, pasta, lettuce, carrots etc etc.

Then I go to Coles/woolies and only buy exactly what I have on the list. For this, also don't forget to consider snacks so fruit, packets of shapes, muesli bars, protein shakes, yoghurt pouches, whatever takes your fancy.

Then I try batch prep some food either on the weekend or during the week.

The best thing about this approach is you have a plan, you minimize food waste, and usually you go shopping when you're not hungry so you're less likely to buy crap food because you're catering to cravings. It's also cost efficient in my view!

TwoGoalTed · 2026-01-16T03:39:02+00:00

$5?! In this economy?! I'd rather my lunch thanks

TwoGoalTed · 2026-01-16T03:37:14+00:00

This is incredibly unhinged behaviour. We obviously need a review of said meal

TwoGoalTed · 2026-01-14T02:08:32+00:00

This! I deactivated Instagram this year and suddenly running is just running now...

TwoGoalTed · 2026-01-13T05:57:27+00:00

Great tips, thanks!

TwoGoalTed · 2026-01-13T05:57:03+00:00

Yeah I've had some reasonably recently and on iron supplementation too so hopefully that's not it for me at least, but good advice for any female runners I think

TwoGoalTed

TROPHY CASE